The Last Seven

I do not review as often as I should, but sometimes I feel like not doing so would mean a sleepless night. This is one of those nights.

The Last Seven is arguably the most poorly constructed, ill-fated, and hopeless attempt at making a movie I have ever seen outside those who recognize the feebleness of their movie and attempt to at least derive some kind of humor out of the film. It is so difficult for me to decide where to begin, because everything is wrong.

If that does not satisfy your curiosity, then let me hit the big three as I see them.

Number 1: Character development. Throughout the entire film, I was never given any reason to care about any of the characters outside of a boo-hoo flashback for someones missed birthday. I didn't care if they lived, if they died, or if they were forced to sit through their own horrible acting. I just didn't care about anything that was happening to them in the slightest, and it destroyed what little bit of plot development there was. And when I say little, I mean LITTLE.

Number 2: Wannabe artistic filming and editing. Out of place flashbacks, requiem-for-a-dream shortcut film sequences, long, drawn out scenes flip-flopping with super short, shaky camera snapshot progressions, third grade special effects, the "hitchcock" scare (attempt) and the list goes on, and on, and on, and on, and on. And. On.

Number 3: Worse than a M. Night Shyamalan twist ending. Nuff said.

The only thing decent about this movie was the scenery, abandoned cities always look awesome.

Don't waste your time, and don't make me tell you I told you so.

Film tastes vary greatly, I am aware of this. Films that I love have been described to me as "boring" many times over the years. 'Rushmore' , 'The chaser', 'Halloween', all apparently "too slow", or I'm told that "noyhing happens". Well THIS is a movie where absolutely nothing happens for the entirety of it's excruciating running time (anything between 85 mins and a couple of months, depending on how you quantify time). I really have never been so bored in my life, it's as if Uwe Boll found a discarded script by Terence Malick and didn't really get it. Flashbacks featuring Danny Dyer crop up to piece together the supposed plot and it's final twist, and in the hope that all would be revealed and I could switch this piece of garbage off, I welcomed every scene that Dyer appeared in. And I never, ever thought I'd say that. It was not very good.

Artistically fantastic - a wow take of the streets of London post-weirdness not so sure it continues to engage every viewer beyond the first 5 minutes watch, but don't expect a Hollywood Blockbuster

The movie is pretty easy to work out, having said that if your attention span isn't that good you will soon be turning it off. I was hoping it would be better But it isn't.

this is by far one of the worst films i have ever see in the history of films. i once bought a £1 Kung Fu film from HMV that was of a better standard than this film. i actually felt bad for the actors and kept wanting to correct the incredibly poor acting! if you watch this you've only yourself to blame as i do for ignoring the previous bad comments from other reviewers.

to put it bluntly, this film is so bad that i had to join IMDb as a member just so i could warn people off from wasting there time... shame on the director for this one and for the script writers SHAME ON YOU!

i really need to get into story writing, because if this is the best these guys could do and it actually managed to make it even to DVD let alone the pictures, then anyone can call themselves a director/actor/script writer!