Thor: O Martelo dos Deuses

I didn't have very high expectations for this movie. I was expecting something low budget but watchable, around the standard of 'King Arthur', 'The Last Legion', 'Reign of Fire' or a Uwe boll movie (if you have seen any of those?) or a feature length episode of Xena Warrior Princess... But even with such low expectations I was surprised by how bad this film is. It's much worse than any of the above.

If you have ever seen a movie made by high school students. Which stars themselves and their friends running about in the woods and play fighting... Then you will have some idea of what to expect here. This is not just a cruel exaggeration it really is that bad. In fairness you might wonder where they got the money for a boat and a snow machine, but otherwise 'school media project' is about the standard we are talking here.

This movie is basically about a bunch of Vikings who sail to a distant land, which turns out to be inhabited by low budget werewolves. Don't be fooled into thinking that the movie has any relevance to the Viking god Thor or actual mythology... It doesn't. They just reused the name (presumably to add inaccuracy to the long list of flaws in this film).

The film has a distinctly amateur feel even by TV movie standards. At no point did I ever believe I was watching real Vikings. I'm not even sure if I was watching real actors since most of the lines are simply read aloud rather than acted. And half-heartedly forcing out a 'ye' or a 'thou' in a modern Liverpool accent didn't add anything to believability.

The set is quite literally 'the woods at the bottom of someone's garden' and most of the film takes place within 50 feet of an old shed, which we are supposed to believe is a village.

It's difficult to find anything good to say about this movie. Some of the girls are nice looking I guess... that's about it *shrug* You might want to watch this just to see how bad it really is, but most of it is boring and painful rather than amusing.

I normally reserve ratings of 1 and 2 for films where the sound and picture quality is so bad that the film is virtually unwatchable. This film doesn't have those problems but I just can't bring myself to give it a 3. Unless you are Todor Chapkanov's parents, you aren't going to be impressed by this.

This movie is simply awful. Wooden "acting?" lame action scenes, cheap plastic Armor and weapons. What makes it even worse by comparison is "The 13th Warrior" is running at the same time on another channel. The Vampire angle just does not work, at least, in this Viking movie. Indeed the characters themselves as acted do not come across as credible Norsemen. The sword fights look like they where choreographed by a person who learned sword fighting by watching He-Man Master of the Universe cartoons. Zachery Ty Bryan who was to be Thor always looked like a deer staring into a set of headlights at night. Zac' I would suggest better acting classes. Indeed it would be a total waste of hard drive space if you illegally down loaded it off the internet for free. It is not as bad as "Plan 9 From Outer Space", or "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" but not by much. This would be a good movie to show in order to get rid of unwanted company.

For whatever reason, I have not given up on the SciFi channel yet but this film comes close to doing it for me. I advise people NOT to waste their time on this. Not only was Zach from Home Improvement hopelessly miscast as a Viking hero but his acting is no better than when he was on the series. There were some moments--unfortunately the moments were badly acted, ripped off from other shows and not very interesting. This was almost an embarrassment to watch. I felt bad for the actors because they didn't have a chance with that badly written script. Fans of SciFi/action will be angered by some of the blatant lines stolen from other shows like Highlander. I thought about skipping this because it looked like it would be bad. I should have trusted my judgement.

Oh… don't you just hate it when the concept reads refreshingly fun (Vikings battling werewolves) but the final product leaves a lot to be desired. Sadly this straight to TV sci-fi original production doesn't complements its idea, instead we get a very low-rent, quite bland and terribly daft (but not in cheesy way) production that simply feels like its going through the motions with little in the way of excitement and conviction. To cement it just listen to the vapidly clunky script and stilted performances (with Zachery Ty Bryan best known for the TV series "Home Improvement" heading the cast)… although the acting to a certain degree can only be as good as the material allows them to be. Instead I rather just watch 1999 Viking actioner "The 13th Warrior" again… at least that entry wasn't gutless.

It does take a while to get going with squabbling dramas and well-worn clichés hitting the fold, as they do go on and on talking / arguing in many meandering passages, before finally breaking out an injection of blood splattering, if clumsily forced combat. Quite little and without the bite though. The CGI is poorly conceived in that unconvincing video game imagery and the make-up effects (or better put masks) fair no better, but definitely more preferable. The way the camera shoots the werewolves is that there are never any clear shots, especially during the choppy action and the one and only transformation scene is lazily done. The hazy locations are well pitched, however they're clearly set-designs during the night sequences and the atmosphere is virtually non-existent.

I found "Hammer of the Gods" to be a drearily forgettable action fare.

I was misled by a couple of reviews... There are good movies that come out on small budget.. But this one is a real pain.. I am halfway and have stopped viewing.. Nothing's good.. Acting: 0/10. Direction: 0/10. Special Effects: 0/10.. The storyline in this movie is OK.. it could have been a mix of horror-fantasy.. but its all spoiled by the bunch of amateurs (I could not find any definition for 'less than' amateur) . The end result is a movie that does not convey any feeling other than frustration of how you ended up watching it. If you have nothing else to bite.. then go have a walk, don't waste your time on this movie.. I am sure u will be better off..