Top Gear Australia

Gad, what an abomination. They hold an open casting call, creating the impression they're actually looking for good presenters, and instead they overlook all presenting ability and go for 3 dreary motoring columnists with all the wit and charm of Peter Lorre and all the dashing good looks of George Formby. Where was the humour? All we got was three ill-at-ease middle aged twits with no personality hooning around on some sand dunes, pretending to enjoy themselves and guffawing hysterically at every whimsical comment. How about Charlie explaining the technical details of a car's transmission by doodling a diagram in the dirt? I mean really, does your average Top Gear fan give a Peter Luck how the car works? And what exactly was the point of the shark stunt, and what did it have to do with cars?? About the only joke I can recall from the entire show was some nauseatingly unfunny quip about Victoria Police "busting a cap in someone's ass", which was followed by a round of self-congratulation and an appeal to the bemused audience for applause. Oh and of course there was the obligatory attempt to imitate some of Clarkson's outspokenness, by taking a cheap and unfunny shot at the government over their luxury car tax.

Maybe if they'd tried to do something a bit different, rather than just imitating all the personality traits of the original hosts, it might not have looked so bad. As it is, they look like really bad Cliff Richard impersonators in an Elvis impersonator's competition. The bloke who plays Richard Hammond, Steve Pizzati, got on my nerves too. I can only imagine how grating that whiny soprano and irritating cackle will be by the end of the series.

I was actually considering auditioning for the James May role when they had the casting call, but I wouldn't have gotten it as I'm way too funny.

I'm sure the BBC execs are sharpening their axe as I type. It's rather amusing that the only original segment was titled What Were They Thinking, as it summed up my reaction to the BBC's decision to commission this steaming pile.

After just having watched the inaugural episode of Top Gear Australia I must say: It wasn't bad.....for a start. However, it could have been MUCH better: And here's why.

First Point: Why not start with the comparison between the FPV F6 and the HSV GTS (I think it was the GTS) and BLOW us all away??? Ohhhhhh what an opener that could have been!!!!!! And oh what a letdown it was settling for a soft roader comparison instead (I know these cars are popular with us Australians, but so are our TITANIC battles between Ford and Holden)!!!! I feel slightly ripped off having had SBS play scenes from the F6-GTS comparison only to have Cox announce 'what you've all been waiting for' will appear next week (And yes you can bet I'll be watching next week).

Second point: The comparison between the soft roaders....was it a comparison or just 3 dudes having a play? There was no discussion at the end of the comparison between the three hosts as to which car won the day....even if the hosts do end up disagreeing at the end it's still nice to know.

Third Point: The Franchise. Yes Top Gear is borrowed from the UK version, and it needs to follow a certain formula. But there is no way in hell that Charlie Cox, Warren Brown, and Steve Pizzati can be expected to manufacture the sheer charisma that their Top Gear opposites in the UK have. They need to be left alone to create something of their own. Jeremy Clarkson, James May, and Richard Hammond have this truly wonderful-to-watch magic style of their own that should not be attempted to be replicated as I saw in Top Gear Aus: Just won't work, the Aussie hosts will just end up looking like clunky fools, and the show will be ridiculed. Charlie Cox should not be billed as Australia's version of Jeremy Clarkson, there can only be one Clarkson. Warren Brown should not be billed as Australia's version of James May, there can only be one May. And Steve Pizzati...I didn't get the feeling the show was trying to manipulate him into being an Aussie Richard Hammond as much as the other two were. I had the fortunate opportunity to see Warren Brown compete in a Peking to Paris drive, recreating a trek that was made at the turn of the 20th century. He was brilliant in that, so I suspect that if allowed, these Australian hosts are capable of coming up with a magic of their own.

Forth point: The test track. The camera angles were bad, I didn't get a feel for how the cars were responding to the turns or get a feeling for just how quick they were racing around the track (The Skyline didn't look as quick as it so obviously was), the track didn't seem long enough, and it all seemed like a bit of a blur.

Fifth point: Weren't you lot hamming it up a bit with the chop up and pasting of footage when you dipped Brown into the sea with those sharks? It was crap! That entire part of the show wasn't as scary as it could have been. I think it's fair to say.....you lot made a meal outta that one :P

Conclusion: Top Gear Australia has a lot of work to be done to it to get it rolling smoothly, mainly camera work on moving car footage around that track, the track itself should be slightly longer, hosts need to be left to develop a personality of their own, but all in all, it passed..only just!

With great expectation I awaited the arrival of our home grown version of a wonderfully entertaining programme. Lo and behold what we got was a gallingly scripted piece of bile. Sure looking at cars that we can purchase here was interesting, prob more so than the exotic versions tested by the English counterpart, there however ended the enjoyment. Where did they dredge these presenters (well two of them anyway) up from, Charlie COOK, the Jeremy wannabe, without any presence, any semblance of humor, quite frankly he would be better suited to hosting one of those makeup shows gracing our screens mid morning. Steve Pizzati is immensely annoying, and dare I say it, that is prob his most redeeming feature. He constantly clamors for camera time, interrupting the others with feeble attempts at humor, then having the audacity to laugh at the unfunniest of unfunny jokes. Is that whining voice of his natural, surely not. I found Warren to be the most likable of these characters, shark stunt aside. On the face of it he appears to be the only candidate available with an ability to ad-lib. I can only hope that when a pecking order is established within this trio that they can then stop competing with each other. "What were they thinking" is original, and prob should be explored further on the programme. I know it is early days and I sincerely hope that these issues are addressed, if not this show could be destined for the "also rans" bin very quickly, a shame given the lack of a decent motoring show in this country since the halcyon days of "Torque" with Peter Wherret

I've stuck to the CHM era of Top Gear pretty much my whole life, thinking every other variation or era of the show simply wasn't good. True for the most part, but after giving the 2024 reboot of Top Gear Australia a chance, I'd say it comes fairly close to the old Top Gear we love. That's not to say it's perfect, it still has some faults, but for what it is it's pretty entertaining. My only real complaint so far is how the humour is sometimes, not all of the time, a little forced feeling. But not every joke comes off that way, so it doesn't derail the program like some of the Evans era humour does.

I don't think Top Gear Australia can serve as a full replacement for classic TG. That show was unbeatable lightning in a bottle. But as a new, fresh edition of an old format, it's pretty alright. Fun to watch alongside the oldies or for something a little different.

When I saw there was a new Top Gear Australia with all new hosts I had high hopes but sadly I was let down immediately!

The new hosts unfortunately are little improvement over their former collegues with all of the same problems.

Firstly there is no chemistry between the three of them. Their banter is that of uninformed drunk idiots at a party. Throwing our random comments of little intellignce that just dont gel with one another, they dont inform and they certainly dont entertain.

I only kept watching because i wanted to see the latest cars and innovations but the cast dont seem to know anything about cars or even how to drive them well!

I found myself fast forwarding a lot or turning the sound off so I didn't have to listen to their crap commentary.

I'm going back to rewatch the 3 original british boys weave their magic. Their re-runs certainly beat this rubbish.