Children of the Corn

Don't even know where to start on this movie. I remember reading the guys from Riff Trax said they could never do 50 Shades of Grey because it was already so ridiculous and laughable on its own. This movie is like that.

Nothing makes sense, and I mean nothing. The adults never fight back in any way whatsoever. The logistics of how anything at all is done is never shown. I love horror so am an expert at suspending disbelief, but this was to another level of illogical.

No character is likable and the storyline is basically nonexistent. I already had my expectations set really low and this was even worse than I thought it might be. At least I figured I'd get a couple laughs but there is nothing.

If anyone ever tells you that this isn't bad, they are either lying through their teeth or they have the worst taste in the world and you need to disregard them entirely! This has to be one of the worst films that I have ever had the displeasure of trying to sit through.

It's acting is bordering on being unwatchable, the story revamps are laughably bad and it just drags on endlessly... getting worse and worse by the second.

It's so bad that it's not even comically bad. It's just not at all worth watching! Stay far away from this horrid piece of crap.

I'd rather watch a bowling ball coming to crash into my Nuts at 200 mph than ever sit through this awful mess again.

The kid actors are better here. The original movie is fondly remembered by fans due to the outstanding performance by John Franklin as Isaac, but a lot of people aren't aware of the fact Franklin was actually an adult when he played the role - he was 24 years old at the time of filming. This time around the role of mini cult leader goes to an actual child in the form of Kate Moyer as Eden and she absolutely nails it!

Check this one out for yourselves. It's got some inventive kills, decent pacing and the leads do a substantial job of keeping you invested all the way through. The ending might be the weakest element of the entire movie but as remakes go, I've seen worse and this one is a lot better than people are giving it credit for.

Ever since Stephen King started to publish his novels in the 70s they had been adapted to the big screen. While some of them are successful (Carrie, Misery, The Shining, IT) and even considered classic horror films a few of them doesn't have the same response (FireStarter, Graveyard Shift). In 1984 the first adaptation of King's short story Children of the Corn was released and while that version wasn't well received at the time, today it can be considered the best entry of this failed franchise. Every entry in the franchise is worst than the other making the original look as a good 80s horror movie.

This new remake, that also feels like a prequel, spend three years waiting for been released and it should have been stayed like that. Sometimes bad horror films can still be liked by the audience by their entertaining story, silly dialogues, and decent gore. But not even that happens here as the only salvageable thing about this movie is Kate Moyers' performance as the kid's leader Eden Edwards. But, that's not enough to save this film from being an unjustified addition to the franchise. The worst part of this film can be the CGI and portrayal of "He Who Walks" that resembles Marvel character Groot but with corn. This new version only proves that this story and franchise has no salvation and should be forgotten.

Children Of The Corn (20) is the third movie in the series to bare that title and surprisingly isn't as bad as i thought it would be going in.

Most of the good work is down to the performance of Kate Moyer as Eden. Eden is the first cult leader since Isaac to give off a creepy vibe while also convincing as a menacing presence.

All the beats of a typical COTC film are here and that is sadly where the movie fails. Every corn movie feels the need to show some pathetic CGI creature towards the end and here is no different. He Who Walks is ridiculous and would be better served not shown at all and simply left to the imagination.

The real kicker for the movie is the last couple of minutes. It appears out of nowhere and is just a redundant jump scare (if you could even call it a jump scare) and even more bad special effects.

COTC Rankings: A very bad series with few highlights.

1. Children Of The Corn (84) 2. COTC II: Final Sacrifice 3. COTC IV: The Gathering 4. COTC III: Urban Harvest 5. Children Of The Corn (20) 6. COTC V: Fields Of Terror 7. COTC: Genesis 8. COTC 666: Isaac's Return 9. Children Of The Corn 10. COTC: Runaway 11. COTC: Revelation.