- Captain Hammer: [reading from a set of cue cards] I hate the homeless...
- [next cue card]
- Captain Hammer: ... ness problem that plagues our city.
- Penny: You're not really interested in the homeless, are you?
- Dr. Horrible: No, I am, but... it's a symptom. You're treating a symptom while the disease rages on, consumes the human race. The fish rots from the head, so they say. So I'm thinking, why not cut off the head?
- Penny: [pause] Of the human race?
- Dr. Horrible: It's not a... perfect metaphor.
- Dr. Horrible: [after describing about the freeze ray failure] Captain Hammer threw a car at my head.
- Captain Hammer: [singing] So I thank my girlfriend Penny. Yea, we totally had sex. She showed me there's so many different muscles I can flex. There's the deltoids of compassion, there's the abs of being kind. It's not enough to bash in heads, you've got to bash in minds!