- Eddie Riggs: Wait, how do I get fire tributes again?
- The Guardian of Metal: Please the Fucking gods of metal, man.
- Eddie Riggs: Ok, I'll be back covered in metal god love
- The Guardian of Metal: Oh God!
- Eddie Riggs: How about this? How about you take off your fucking diaper, lay down your little baby foofoo, get in the bus and go do your fucking job!
- Mangus: Dude, not cool! I wear this thing so I don't have to stop the bus to take a leak.
- Eddie Riggs: I'm supposed to think you're a nun but I know you're really some kind of big ugly demon, so lets have it.
- [demon turns around and roars]
- Eddie Riggs: Ah ha! I knew it, big ugly demon... kind of sexy though in a weird way.
- Eddie Riggs: [while fighting a giant worm] Ugh! It smells like a whale... ate some cabbage... and died in your mouth... like a year ago!
- Eddie Riggs: You're a demon aren't supposed to try and kill us or something?
- Fletus: Nah, that's the tainted coil. I aint a part of that outfit, I'm too ugly.
- Eddie Riggs: And slow! Don't forget slow!
- Fletus: I'm beginning to see why they hate you guys though!
- Eddie Riggs: [ordering his units to follow him] I'm a weiner and you're the bun. So come on over and let's have fun.
- Eddie Riggs: [after playing the "Facemelter" riff] Now I bet you wished you'd worn a bib 'cause you've got face all over your shirt!
- Ophelia: Hey look Eddie, I finally got myself a car, it's got a special seat in the back, just for you.