- Margie Browning: We don't travel, um, Neil has traveler's diarrhea.
- Neil Browning: It's not just when I travel.
- Parker McDermott: I look like a meth-head lottery winner marrying Machine Gun Kelly at a cruise boat casino.
- Rehan Zakaryan: I love Machine Gun Kelly. He has that skinny dick energy.
- Owen Browning: My bank got robbed, and I didn't do anything to stop them. I suck. I suck so bad!
- Phoebe King: First off, stop crying. Whenever I hear babies cry, I lactate. I can't ruin another suit.
- Neil Browning: You listened to me. You touch one single hair on my son's back, and I swear to God!
- Billy McDermott: Shut up and listen. I'm not gonna touch your son's back hair.
- Lilly McDermott: We just need disguises.
- Owen Browning: Yep, and I need a gun.
- Billy McDermott: [hands him a gun]
- Owen Browning: What? Oh my gosh. It's way lighter than I though it'd be.
- Owen Browning: It's a water gun.