Memórias de Um Amor

Greetings again from the darkness. Relationships end. Sometimes that brings relief, other times pain. For long time couple Sam and Tusker, the end is speeding towards them and they are each taking approaches on how best to handle. Writer-director Harry Macqueen delivers a tender story that is elevated by two extraordinary lead performances.

Colin Firth (Oscar winner, THE KING'S SPEECH, 2010) stars as Sam, a concert pianist, and Stanley Tucci (Oscar nominated, THE LOVELY BONES, 2009) co-stars as Tusker, a published novelist. These are arguably career best performances from both, and they complement each other so well on screen that we simply forget we are watching actors and accept the plight of this couple - of these two men. Driving along in their RV from a bygone era, they have the familiar exchanges that come from spending a lifetime together. We enjoy their banter, but it's Sam's opening line that sets the tone when he says, "We're not going back, you know". He's referring to a suitcase that Tusker didn't allow him to help pack, though soon enough we realize that line is even more to the point when it comes to their life journey.

As the bucolic northern England countryside passes by, it becomes evident that Tusker has early onset dementia. Though more present than not, he sometimes forgets a word, while in his worst moments doesn't know where he is or how he arrived. The purpose of the trip is two-fold: Sam is giving a 'comeback' concert after many years away from the circuit, and this is Tusker's farewell visit to family and friends. Of course, we (and Tusker) also recognize that this is likely the final fond memory this couple will make. While Sam is insistent that he can help Tusker remain productive, Tusker is well aware that he will quickly become a burden to the man he loves - and that's not something he wants to see happen.

Dementia is a slow fade, often over many years. Recognizing that it's happening to you is as painful as watching a loved one decline. People deal with this in their own way, and Macqueen's film handles it gently, while the actors exhibit much grace in their portrayals. The line, "It's not about fair. It's about love" really struck a nerve, and made it clear that these are two characters we like and believe in - inside a story that's heart-wrenching. Star-gazing plays a role here, and there's only a mild poke at Margaret Thatcher's policy towards gays. This isn't a movie of politics, but rather one of emotions and humanity. Not much happens here ... only everything. Best to reach for the stars, as "we're not going back."

*side note: I did have to look up "frog-marching" since it's used in conversation, and I had not previously heard the phrase. The film hits theaters on January 29, 2021 and Digital on February 16, 2021

"You're not supposed to mourn someone before they die." Tusker (Stanley Tucci)

With early-onset dementia (never mentioned, just "the bloody thing," Tusker, a respected novelist, pretty much feels life closing in. His lover, Sam (Colin Firth, even more low-key than ever), a well-known pianist, is facing the inevitable with as much good-will toward the fates as is possible. Something grander about dementia is in this quiet, contemplative drama eclipsing even the success of Julianne Moore in "Still Alice" and Julie Christie in "Away From Her."

The vastness of the universe helps these two amateur astronomers cope by showing the smallness of lives and fates and the assimilation we experience after we leave this mortal coil. Like all of us, Sam wonders if even that cosmic salve can save him from his oncoming grief of loss: "Am I strong enough? Can I do it?"

In a motorhome touring England's grand Lake District, we observe from the back seat as two buddies in the front on maybe their last adventure exchanging good-natured barbs that fulfill my requirement for buddy banter from good road pictures to my own travels with close friends. When Tusker asks Sam how things are going, Sam replies, "It's fine for me." Only a long-time love could respond, "Liar." The minimalism belies a depth of the love and understanding. Nice.

Writer-director Harry Macqueen deftly arranges the climax of the road trip with a surprise birthday party Tasker arranges for Sam at Sam's relatives' country home. The abundance of love for the couple mitigates the slow-coming sorrow of inevitable loss to remind us that love is the antidote to sorrow and the source for joy at whatever time the universe calls us back:

"Thanks," says Sam. "For what?" replies Tusker. "This," responds Sam. That's enough said about quiet love as they travel like a supernova full of light and strength on the way out.

Two stellar performances from Colin Firth and Stanley Tucci are the main draw for this study of the onset of dementia. The screenplay is delicate and nuanced, with a resolution that is both satisfying and poignant. A perfect counterpoint to the flood of superhero CGI monstrosities.

Colin Firth and Stanley Tucci absolutely had me in tears towards the end. They sell the relationship better than I have seen in so other movies. But Stanley is always a great husband. This was a touching and romantic love story that was coming to an end. At least we were able to take the road trip with them.

Absolutely loved the performances in this film. It felt like a play with the two main actors but opened up with the wide landscape of the Lake District - it was stunning. Tucci and Firth were so convincing and played the scenario so well - we were deeply moved. Yes it is melancholy and sad but it has great moments of humour, especially at the start, that I think we can all relate to. An honest and raw portrayal of dementia in stunning surroundings. Absolutely loved it.