Girl in 6C

Brad Armstrong is a classic underachiever piloting "Girl in 6C", a peculiarly lame vehicle for Wicked contract star Carmen Hart. Neither Carmen's or Brad's reputation is advanced by this awful clunker.

The title going in reminded me of some interesting old films, particularly a beloved drive-in classic with similar moniker, promising mystery, adventure, perhaps even noir femme fatale action. Instead Brad delivers up an indigestible concoction that left a bad taste in my mouth.

Set-up has spiky-haired Tommy Gunn humping his g.f. Jessica Drake, before heading out on a business trip. leaving Eric Masterson to look after things at home in his absence. Poor story telling by big-deal Brad never makes it clear what this building with Apt. 6C is: there's a doorman/concierge played by Chris Cannon in an uncharacteristic (for him) NonSex role, a pesky older lady (uncredited) who acts like a house mother but is probably just a neighbor, etc. I couldn't tell if this was a condo, or a co-op or even a motel, though Cannon's presence ruled out that last possibility.

Carmen arrives as Gunn's sister and upsets the balance of this uninteresting little universe concocted by Brad, who uses his alternate fake name of "Rod Hopkins" (generally applied to art direction credits) for the scriptwriter slot.

For nearly two hours we watch Carmen acting like a slut, giving out numerous blow jobs and having sex with all and sundry. None of it is funny or romantic, ruling out the possibility that this is merely a failed rom-com. It plays more like an attempt to sabotage Hart's career, as if Brad were nefariously up to no good in order to help the Wicked Pictures honchos cancel Carmen's contract.

It's not her fault she's trapped in such a stinker - I found her similar looks to mainstream heart-throb Phoebe Cates a turn-on. But why such crappy material? At one point she's invited to dinner by swinger neighbors Kayla Carrera and Jason Arrow, with the admonition "Wear something slutty". Carmen obliges, and this line of dialog seems to be the mantra for the entire feature.

Besides Drake, marking time in a nothing role that could have been filled by any anonymous starlet, many big names (mostly male) pop up for sexual filler. Surveying both Wicked and Vivid DVDs of a decade or so ago I am quite disappointed by the innumerable pointless time-killers they created to fill out ambitious release schedules, a policy thankfully no longer viable now that the Goose that laid the Golden DVD Egg is dead, wiped out by internet porn availability.