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Full disclosure, I am russian. Bert is very funny guy and he should stick to comedy. His machine routine was funny enough but it didn't translate well to movie. His story actual story is quite dark, and it goes through very bad time in Russia, but he makes a good humor story of this mess in his standup. Where he makes a funny standup, the movie falls well short of his act. Romanian setting with western actors speaking horrible, bearly understandible Russian, with even worse translation; was the funniest part of the movie for me. Over the top caricature characters can only take movie so far, it needs a good script.

I've never heard of Bert Kreischer so clearly I'm not a fan of his comedy, but nor can I hate it, and as such, the same goes for this film. The Machine was loud, obnoxious and overbearing, and nothing about this comedy should've worked, but it played well to its strengths, and ended up being much more entertaining than it should've been. The casting - especially the villains, was over the top, but it worked even though it shouldn't have, just like Kreischer and Mark Hamill shouldn't have worked, but it did, mostly from their hilarious dialogue and antics. It's not the greatest comedy out there, but it's also not the worst, and we did have a bunch of laugh out loud moments, so that's a good sign. This machine works best with lots of high-octane fluids and with your gears in neutral. It's dumb fun and a decent one-time watch, especially with all the slim pickings out there.

The movie itself was pretty funny for the most part. I would also agree that it was a little slow at times too. Burt performing on-stage is truly authentic and amazingly funny. For a 1st time actor, I thought he did really well. Some have rated this movie with low scores forgetting that this is a stand-up comedian acting in a major motion picture about his life and never experiencing the acting role before. If you hated this movie and decided to post negative remarks and ratings, I cannot relate. I have read some of these negative reviews and it is clear that some people believe that they themselves are Siskle & Ebert themselves. The movie is funny, was it the best comedy I have ever seen NO. But to bash a movie just because it wasn't your cup of tea is an insult to reviews as a whole. When I dislike something, I simply choose to remember the morales my mother and father taught me as a young child. I keep my opinions and negative thoughts to myself. Go see the movie, it's pretty funny.

I really wanted to like this movie and I didn't hate it per se, but it was not what the trailer made it out to be. I am a huge fan of comedy/action movies like The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent but this one didn't quite fit the bill. The set up took way too long. I spent the first probably hour and fifteen minutes thinking meh I could leave and wouldn't care if I didn't see the end. It hit its stride in the middle and then tied everything together but not in the most satisfying way. The main character arc seemed a little abrupt and not so much earned. Mark Hamil was not used correctly. He did the best with what he was given and it seemed like a film he would have enjoyed making but his comedy was a little forced. The best part of this film was definitely the end, when the comedy reached its peak. The action was very fun to watch on the big screen but other than that if you've seen the trailer you've seen the best comedy it has to offer.

Bert Kreischer gets a lot of hate and a part of me would've loved to see him come out with a terrific film to shut all his haters up. Unfortunately that was not the case. This film was not a lot of fun to watch at all.

Kreischer has no comedic timing and no sense of when to let a joke breathe. Comedy isn't easy and people only think it is because the best make it look so effortless. The biggest mistake they made in this film though was casting Mark Hamill, who is also painfully unfunny, giving Bert no one to play off. Hamill is trying so hard in every scene he's in, but he's not a funny guy and doesn't have any charisma.

So all you're left with is the story, and the story gets old pretty fast. This film is only 112 minutes but it feels much, much longer than that. The concept might work in a 13 minute stand-up clip, but stretched out to this length it becomes pretty tedious. 4/10.

The first 20-25 minutes are pretty cheesy/over-the-top setting up the motivation for the plot and getting Bert & his dad into position. But it actually gets fairly watchable after Irina shows up. It's by no means going to win any awards, but if you're a fan of BK & enjoyed this story from his set, you'll probably enjoy watching this enough to not shut it off.

I was pretty dubious on how BK was going to be as an actor, but I was pleasantly surprised once the story left LA. It's a testament to the caliber of talent Mark Hamill that he was able to raise whatever abilities BK came to the table with to a place where you actually feel invested during their scenes.

The ending is also surprisingly engaging and fitting.

I don't know much about bert kreisher as a stand up comedian and this seems to be the first film he has stared in. This film is fun and funny at times but its not by burt that makes it funny. Its the scary russian characters that are including mark hamil who can only sound like the joker in my head. In this movie burt and his father are kidnapped by an attractive woman named irina. She wants a watch returned to her that was a family hairloom and she believes burt took it. Back in college he was known as the machine and became involed in the russian mob. Its hard to believe this film is actually based on a true story. But anyway acting was good and this film is decent enough as a crime action movie cut out the sort of comedy and its a pefectly fine film still.

I used to like some of Bert's comedy but he's become more and more unbearable every year. To the point where he's virtually unwatchable now.

If the details of the story EVER match the excitement Bert feels and wants you to feel while telling it then it will be as big a hit as Bert and his friends want you to think.

I had to at least give it a shot to see if he'd improved or if with the miracle of editing and post production they could make the story palatable. They could not.

Not even a strong supporting cast could save this steaming pile of...steamy stuff that this dumpster fire is.

Bottom 10 movies I've ever seen!

I think 6/10 is very fair here. It's not a great movie, and that's ok. If you like Brent Chrysler, you'll be entertained by this movie. I can see why he was so happy with how the movie turned out, it's just all him being something he's not for two hours (which again, is fine!). I can tell this was really just something that everyone involved with had a lot of fun with, from the actors to the editors with those kitschy transitions and strange Russian subtitles. It's quirky, and I think it works here.

Mark Hamill was a crazy get for this movie and I can't believe he agreed to do it. It definitely helped the movie's case. Jimmy Tatro was a good casting for young Bert as well.

One observation to make- Bert's character in this is literally Po from Kung Fu Panda. It's just a fat guy who dumb lucks his way through everything until the very end when his actions seem a bit more intentional and he accepts who he really is inside.

This is like watching any of the 5-minute SNL skits turned into a movie. Remember Pat? Remember Superstar? Remember Roxbury? MacGruber? All were items that worked in small amounts but failed miserably as movies. This is no exception.

It wants to be a comedy-action movie but fails at....being a comedy or having action scenes worth watching. At no time did I have a single 'laugh' and chuckled one time in the fist five minutes and that was it. Nothing was funny, nothing. While there is a nice number of action scenes, there were no tension to take them seriously and they all seem inserted with no practical reason for them being there.

Overall, this movie is boring with Bert, 'hamming it up to the camera' every moment he could get.

Not a bad movie, just nothing good. I'm sure by lunchtime I will have forgotten I had even watched it(it is now 11:55).

This movie met everyone one of my expectations. It was funny but light hearted. Bert is an expert at pulling you in and rooting for an underdog telling a story that connects you to his family while being funny. Bert expands upon his most famous story and it was really fun to be a fly on the wall as he stretched the imagination of an iconic story and added a different perspective and also added a new storyline of him being brought back to Russia. I was entertained the whole time. I laughed the whole time and that is all I wanted. I personally did not think it was cheesy and a ton of it is based off the real story and almost brings it more to life and adds a further dimension of making the story more of a folk tail than it already is. I felt the move was review way to hard by the critics because Bert stays 100 percent true to himself and delivered a Bert classic. Screw the harsh critics this was a heck of a time. Thanks Bert.

I have zero background with Bert Kreischer. I had never heard of him before this movie. But with the lack of comedy movies lately, I gave The Machine a chance. And I had a pretty good time with it.

It's pretty funny with an interesting premise. And for a comedy, it's a relatively well-made movie. It has a certain style to it and there are a bunch of cool transitions. And the fight scenes are shot surprisingly well, very clear and easy to follow.

My biggest downside with the movie is that the final act had the least laughs from me. It goes a little heavier on the action side. And while the fights are shot well, the hits are hardly convincing. You can tell they're just tapping the opponent. It almost feels like watching the actors rehearsing the choreography before filming it.

I enjoyed The Machine as a one-time-viewing type of movie. I would like to see Bert Kreischer in other movies with other popular comedians. (1 viewing, 6/20/2023)

It's a comedy set in Serbia and it's trying to be about Moscow and Russian gangsters and it's incredibly unrealistic and cliché but it does have some originality and a nice message at the end.

However apart from Oleg Taktarov's great cameo (one of the few genuine standouts) there is few other actors playing Russians. This doesn't work for the accents. It's far-fetched and completely unrealistic.

There are very fast edit scenes where Bert is one place then another in an easier location to knock-out a bad guy.

Plot-wise it is very thin. A lady loses her father's watch so kidnaps Bert's daughter and takes him on a joy-ride to get the watch.

Soon the twists and turns of an unpredictable and stupid plotline come forth. It's another low-budget action flick on Netflix when I could have watched something better instead. Dull.

It's also highly-ignorant of the war and Russia's aggression right now and something could have been included in the screenplay. Or better yet it could have been Serbian gangsters then it would have been more honest!

This was a fun watch. A bit more serious and dramatic than I expected at first but none the less a fun film that has heart and a lot of it. There are many good moments that are worthy of giving the film a look but at its center it's a story about moving forward while taking a long look back and accepting what we lack. I don't know if that was the point of the film but that's what I got out of it. There was a bit of drag where I think certain scenes could have been cut and the film would not have suffered and there were moments that I think were intended to be funny but didn't land. It's a comedy at its core and it doesn't disappoint. In other words a happy hangover.

I'm able to switch my brain off and kinda just waltz thru movies that are at that level so it was a solid 5 stars. It's overproduced for what it is and that's probably why I give it a 5, but it's "The Machine" story being milked for what it is, a good story that, as time goes on, start to feel more like an overinflated teenager's story that loses any sense of credibility at all, that is not a great story after all. It's unfortunately the thing that pushed me to realize that I'm getting a bit tired of Bert's inflated ego and that maybe outside of the machine and his forced high pitch laugh, he doesn't have much else to offer.

The Machine! Had to support our boy Bert in his first movie ever! His fighting sequences were dope. The camera work was pretty sick when it came to blending in the present day to the flashback sequences. I liked the dynamic between Bert, and Mark Hamill. With that being said the first 15 minutes were pretty rough. The pacing was pretty slow. When the movie kicked into gear it was a fun, entertaining ride. This was R Rated? I couldn't tell. Some jokes were funny, others weren't. To be honest I would've preferred an entire movie based on the flashback sequences alone. Definitely check this out when it hits streaming services.

The character Bert is absolutely not funny and this movie is not qualified as a comedy either. Other than displaying a childish character with both the IQ and EQ of a ten-year-old, Bert's every move in this movie has irritated me from the beginning to the end.

This character did not make me laugh but angry. Just like his daughter's comment about her father's plan to throw a party for her 16th birthday -- Bert embarrasses her in every way he can.

The storyline itself is boring when it comes to an actor who is supposed to play a funny character but ends up displaying a self-centered, egotistic, and chauvinistic personality in every step of the film, the whole movie is a disaster.

This was such a fun movie. It isn't just your standard raunchy action comedy. It deals with Bert coming to terms with his lifestyle and what it means to be a father. Mark Hamill is hilarious. Bert, while not the greatest actor, is surprisingly good. You don't have to be a hardcore standup fan to enjoy this movie. They do a quick summary of the entire "Machine" story to start the movie off so you understand everyone's motivations. If you are looking for a reason to go to the movies and have fun and laugh I couldn't recommend this movie more. A lot of great action scenes that are equally hilarious. Very fun, funny movie.

Although I'm not a Big fan of Bert, I am a huge fan of podcasts, so I had to watch this! I wanted to see if I could catch any references or if there would be any cameos. I waited until I could rent it for $5.99. I didn't expect to love this movie. And I didn't. But I also didn't hate it.

It's ok.

The movie is not horrible. Certainly not great. It passed the time. Although there are a few "big" moments in the movie I think some people will find funny I did not laugh out loud one time. But I did have a slight chuckle towards the end.

I thought Mark Hamill was a bad choice for this. His delivery on some of his lines seemed forced and weird.

The guy that played younger Bert wasn't great neither.

I did enjoy Iva Babics performance though! I actually enjoyed her more and more as the movie progressed.

If you're not familiar with Bert Kreischer as a stand-up comedian I don't know if this movie will have the same impact as if you watched all his shows, especially the one where he tells a part of this story. Personally I love his shows, he has a nice and funny way to bring his jokes. His big naked belly is one of his trademarks and that you will of course also get in The Machine. I don't think he's the greatest actor though, nor were some other actors from this cast, but it's still good fun to watch. Mark Hamill on the other hand didn't age very well. Strange to see him as anybody else than Luke Skywalker. I can only recommend this movie to the fans of Bert, the stand-up comedian. Others might not really get the humour.

I have never seen any of Bert Kreischer's standup, and honestly didn't find his performance necessarily compelling - nor did I find the overall progression of the story/how it is edited together to be overwhelmingly unique, but movie itself has a lot of interesting choices in it and I find them to be redeeming; a few overly-slick production flourishes, but also some which are very creative and frankly surprising. In some ways I am reminded of Weird Al's UHF - it's absolutely absurd at times and sometimes the fun of that spirit is pretty palpable. Definitely not what I expected.

I consider it worth trying.