- Jenny Cross: Mom, there is wiggy shit going down here.
- Jenny Cross: Wiggy shit.
- Jenny Cross: Way beyond not having internet or cable.
- Jenny Cross: We're talking full on cult.
- Jenny Cross: These people are freaks.
- Jenny Cross: Vows of silence, macaroni crafts and graven images everywhere...
- Jenny Cross: In Jennyism, we do chores after dinner.
- Jenny Cross: It's a sign of respect to the almighty teen.
- Dr. Polieos: I don't care what your mother allowed.
- Dr. Polieos: There will be no whoring anymore.
- Dr. Polieos: And no fast food.
- Dr. Polieos: You reek of french fries.
- Dr. Polieos: I don't know where your Mother gets this idea I have money.
- Dr. Polieos: She's lying.
- Dr. Polieos: Yet again.
- Jenny Cross: The Mother who raised me while you spent every weekend at self-help seminars for two grand a pop?
- Jenny Cross: I guess I'm just disappointed is all.
- Cassie Cross: Disappointed is a lover's word.
- Cassie Cross: Remember, he's just a man.
- Cassie Cross: Another screwed up liberal man whose single mother did everything for him until he turned into effing Peter Pan.
- Cassie Cross: God, it's her fault really.
- Dr. Polieos: Miracles happen when you're in touch with nature.
- Dr. Polieos: I was walking naked through the forest last week, and I got lost, and this hummingbird came and spoke to me and showed me the way back to the path.
- Dr. Polieos: All I want is a relationship with you.
- Dr. Polieos: Is it so much to ask for?
- Dr. Polieos: I know I'm not a Gilbert Girl like your mother...
- Jenny Cross: Gilmore Girls.
- Dr. Polieos: Give your dad one chance.
- Dr. Polieos: Things will be different, I promise.
- Dr. Polieos: If not, you can run away tomorrow.
- Dr. Polieos: But tonight, we're having this eggplant stew I learned from a tribal chief in the Himalayans...
- Jenny Cross: So you're Wiccan.
- Rhea: Stag's Grove is non-denominational.
- Rhea: We promote religious understanding and tolerance.
- Jenny Cross: So you make things up.
- Jenny Cross: You know, I was born on Midsummer.
- Puck: And I am Puck.
- Puck: Sure you want to run away from us?
- Puck: Maybe we were meant to be.
- Puck: How 'bout I take you back to freak village and stand guard while you grab your stuff. Then we get in my car and drive.
- Puck: We can rob Qwik-E Marts. Like Natural Born Killers."
- Jenny Cross: That's a little overdramatic.
- Jenny Cross: I'm just another victim of divorce.
- Jenny Cross: All I need is a one way ticket bus ticket home, and a bilateral parentectomy.
- Jenny Cross: How old is she, six?
- Jenny Cross: I mean come on.
- Jenny Cross: I didn't even drew my first dick until at least fourth grade.
- Jenny Cross: Did you write that?
- Puck: Yes, for you.
- Jenny Cross: The part where it was my name only, right?
- Jenny Cross: Last week you sang it for Heidi, the week before it was Katt...
- Puck: Actually it was Stacy.
- Puck: And the week before that it was Kathleen...