The Forevers

Tried to keep this review as short as possible. The Forevers. From a director who previously pumped out the most unwatchable piece of trash in film history comes THIS! How did the same person who made 0000: A Shark Odyssey make THIS??

Thank God that this is not Eneng's fourth shark movie. Thank God there are no songs in the film. The main character is, OF COURSE, played again by Iki Eneng himself. This time, he is not playing God. He is playing a dictator. Such a huge step-down, right? And the music choice in his first scene... Ooooh boy! And a group of terrorist birds (yes, really...) slaughtered a train on Iki's planet, and they stole crystals from the train. Luckily Iki knows what's so special about them! They are the "crystals of endlessness", twelve glowing stones that when combined, provide their wielder with the power of God. Hmmmmm... Where have I heard that before? Such an original idea! Some hints: The fact that it's called The Forevers, the fact that the plot revolves around two teams trying to get hold of almighty stones, even the studio logo. And of course, there's an after-credit scene!

The villain is a pigeon, played byRaisorBlade, who reviewed Eneng's first film. (How much has he been paid to agree to this??) This casting choice was PERFECT! He is so loud, angry and sarcastic the entire time. And he doesn't care AT ALL what kind of movie he's in. The #2 reason this movie is so amazing though is the contrast between his performance and literally ALL other actors. ALL other actors sound like they're computer-generated voices. They don't sound like robots, mind you, but they are SO devoid of ANY emotion WHATSOEVER! That contrast between RaisorBlade screaming and yelling at them is the most incredible thing you've ever seen! And he has a superpower that... Well, even Sharknado isn't that stupid! Even when he doesn't talk, these characters argue and insult each other so hard in the calmest monotonous tones, it is incredible! The movie is impossible to take seriously because of the acting. But by far, THE stand-out performance of the film is Aqilah! She COMPLETELY knocks Tommy Wiseau out of the park, and I'm dead serious about that! I have never in all my life seen a performance where EVERY SINGLE WORD AND INFLECTION is SO, SO WRONG! EVERY SINGLE ONE! Her accent is sooo off, it's unbelievable! You don't understand a thing, that's why all of her lines are subtitled in-video. If you know people won't understand your character, then don't do it! Choose another voice!

The writing is hilarious. The main portion of the movie is divided into five segments in five different locations with crystals. The teams are never at the same location simultaneously, which I would say is pretty unlikely. They don't meet until the finale. But we don't see each team in each location. During each segment, we only see one team. What is the other team doing at the same time? We have no idea! Which gets really confusing, especially when this makes new characters appear, and we have literally no clue at all who they are, and maybe one small line will tell us. This movie is also completely different in tone from 0000: A Shark Odyssey, which was almost completely devoid of profanity. In this one, characters swear SO, SO MUCH! Sometimes they will even tell each other to stop swearing while using swearwords within the same sentence (For example, a character says "Watch your f***ing language!"). And of course, there's THAT line that is also in the trailer. It's one of the most bizarre lines ever written, even in full context. We couldn't stop laughing for like a whole minute after it was said aloud. The scene at the beach is also something to behold. The movie also makes it seem like Eneng seriously thinks his character is relatable, but if you think about it for a moment, his character is like the worst person ever! The ending is just UNBELIEVABLE, it has SO many implications, it made my mouth drop the floor. Like, you really went there. Wow...

And honestly? This is the best film I've ever seen in my entire life! I laughed so hard from beginning to end. I honestly feel like I've just watched a new The Room, a new Birdemic, a new Sharknado. Watch this as soon as you can

Really think about this: This director named his MAIN CHARACTER after himself, apparently not for the first time, the character himself is also the biggest narcissistic ever, he's a king, and in his introduction scene, he's in his throne room, with a golden sun shape and golden arrows behind him at the wall rotating and always pointing at him, and he put the Hallelujah chorus on top! Just let that sink in!

I'm rarely this entertained by a movie, and I love it for all the wrong reasons. The story is an utterly incompetent rip-off of Infinity War. It focuses for ages on subplots that are never resolved, characters just appear either for no reason at all for one scene, or out of pure convenience, like that Laura (Seriously, who the hell was she?? And where did she go after she said she'd leave with the director character). Every single time the birds are on screen (the main villains are literally just a group of PIGEONS!!), they do nothing but argue either about incomprehensible nonsense to fill the runtime, or about something incredibly over-the-top. The animation is nauseating. From what I've seen in RaisorBlade's review, it's certainly better than what he made before, but the colors are jacked up to the limit, the human characters look nothing like humans, they jump up and down to indicate who's talking, and so forth. And the acting, guys...... Literally the first line in the movie sounds like the actor is trying to whisper really loud. Apart from RaisorBlade and Aqilah, no one shows even a split second of emotion. NOT ONE BIT! They are all so dull and monotone, which leads to hilarious moments when they argue and swear at each other like crazy, even threatening to kill each other at several points with no emotion AT ALL! I don't know who many of them are robots, but Aqilah's actress definitely ain't no human. She's painfully obviously text-to-speech... And THE most inconsistent computer voice EVER! I swear, guys, her accent is THE worst English accent I have heard in all my life! She got embedded subtitles, so it was even funnier to hear her mess up every. single. word. There's a line with three occurrences of the word "screw", and she pronounced it differently EVERY! SINGLE! TIME! 😂 But RaisorBlade is the best actor in the movie! Yes, the director got a film critic who reviewed an older film of his to play the villain! HE'S GOLD! He is so sarcastic, and most importantly, he is LOUD, blasting over all the dull computers, leading to such an insane contrast in performances, which is the best thing you've ever seen!

I love this movie literally for all the reasons I love The Room! It might actually be better than The Room. Definitely check this one out, the director uploaded the whole thing for free on YouTube.