The Portal

Really looking forward to this as I like Madsen. Took years to eventually see it. What a turd of a film. Acting was so bad even lettuces could act more realistic.

The 2 main women possibly are the worst actor/tress I have ever seen. None of it made any sense.

None of the characters looked even remotely real or interested in what was going on whateverthehell it was that was going on. And I was really looking forward to this as I like Madsen a lot.

Him and Stacy Keach must have had an urgent gas bill to pay. I can't believe any of the others were paid money as they were probably homeless people working for food and Roddy Piper who just wandered onto the set.

After 5 years waiting to see it..... Words fail me.

Trust me, there's nothing in the portal you would ever want to see. Do you like horror films? Were you tempted by the mention of Michael Madsen in the cast list? That was how they got me to sit through this. Big mistake. The film looks like it was shot in the nineteen seventies with a budget that's been drummed up by a guy walking round collecting change in a slightly stained hat. Oh, and Michael Madsen is barely in it. He was better in Celebrity Big Brother.

The Portal has bad acting, awful computer generated special effects (were they rendered on a ZX Spectrum?), terrible dialogue, stupid camera angles and looks cheaper than something made for cable TV (bypassing even a straight-to-DVD release).

Some films are so bad they're good (Demons or Starcrash, for example). This one is just bad, bad, bad - seriously, save yourself an hour and a half and watch the shopping channel instead (the prices of those gold bracelets are a damn sight scarier than anything in the Portal).

http://thewrongtreemoviereviews.blogspot.co.uk/

This movie is worth spending an hour and a half to watch. Don't let the title and the horror category hinder. It almost hindered me, but I watched to catch Michael Muhney in the film. However, I didn't see him in the movie, I'm still glad I viewed it. The storyline was quite unique. In a nutshell without giving away any of the plot, it spells mystery, anonymity, vagueness, ambiguity and secrecy, but it pulls you right in from the beginning surrounded by fog and that uncertainty aspect. The acting is good and believable, especially the three lead actors; and the sets are believable. However, I didn't like the unclear details about the leader mission. I enjoyed so much, I plan to rent it and watch it on my big screen TV.

They have a movie. A full length, 90 minute movie. Then why are all the actors acting like they are auditioning for soap operas? I was able to watch 27 minutes. Boring. Seen on Tubi, the free streaming site, which unfortunately, has too many movies like this dog.

From the moment the film opens to its ending credits, the soundtrack never stops. Possibly the director thought the endless cacophony of strings and wind instruments would lend some flair to this uninspired epileptic mess, but it only managed to give me a headache. It took me 3 sittings to make it through this drabfest, not necessarily because it was bad (it was) but because of the never-ending soundtrack.

As to the movie ? A nurse and her (hot) male colleague (the only reason this got a 1/10) investigate the bizarre head-exploding death of a former patient. As they meet the relatives of the victim, a couple of other heads explode and ghost children emerge from a black painting looking like a fuzzy B&W TV screen, probably because they are the key to this exploding-head mystery, but you'll never know, because by the time the movie reaches its pitiful climax, the music gets so obtrusive that you can't hear anything Michael Madsen says before he starts laughing hysterically and his head explodes. The poor nurse is now into hysterics and you will be too, unless you pop a Cuprofen.