Kataude mashin gâru

If you only see ONE outrageously absurd and ridiculously over-the-top Asian splatter yarn this year - or even this lifetime, for that matter – you better make damn sure it's Noboru Iguchi's "The Machine Girl"! This stupendously demented piece of Japanese "Revengeploitaton" features king-size portions of all the regular and crowd-pleasing ingredients, like crazed stereotypical characters (Yakuzas, Ninjas, schoolgirls in uniform, …) and simplistic story lines, but it particularly specializes in extreme Magna-esquire gore and kitschy comedy. Beautiful and multi-talented schoolgirl Ami lives alone with her nerdy brother Yu since their parents committed suicide for falsely being accused of homicide. Ami protects her brother where she can, but she doesn't know he and his friend Takashi are the main targets of youthful bullies with prominent Yakuza-parents. The boys get killed, but nobody wants to help Ami because of her notorious family history and her sole attempts to get revenge literally cost the poor girl an arm. She finally gets help from Takashi's mourning parents, who also provide Ami with a machine-gun prosthesis. "Machine Girl" offers a wide selection of decapitations, dismemberment, close-up gunfire, stabbings, split-open skulls, chainsaw murders, fried limbs, slit throats, electrocutions, impalement and Samurai swashbuckling. Seen all of that before in other schlocky splatter fodder already? Well, yeah … but what about flying guillotines and drill bras? Most of the running time, the screen is literally colored red with gallons of fake blood and removed intestines, but the tone of the film continuously remains blackly comical and light-headed. The phenomenally berserk make-up effects, courtesy of Yoshihiro Nishimura, are often nauseating, but never truly offensive. "Machine Girl" definitely also stars a couple of ravishing and incredibly sexy Japanese actresses, like Ami, her partner in crime Miki and even the supremely bitchy Yakuza's wife. The battle sequences at the beginning and in the garage, as well as the entire final showdown of course, simply have to be seen to be believed. This outrageously grotesque movie is well-made, well-acted and directed and indescribably entertaining.

The trailer for Noboru Iguchi's The Machine Girl has been doing the rounds of the b-movie community for months now. Gorehounds, exploitation fans action nuts alike have been looking forward to it with the same restless feverish anticipation the nerd community would embrace a new Star Wars movie. But let's get this out of the way first: a lot people of doubted the movie would fulfill the gory promises made by the trailer; cast away your doubts ye unbelievers, for like a good can of castoroil, this one does exactly what it says on the tin.

Now what does the tin say? A cartoonish hybrid of splattery goofy horror and gonzo action with only a basic revenge plot serving as a skeleton. I won't go into plot details because I'll only be wasting your time. In a nutshell: girl finds brother killed by yakuzas; girl has her arm chopped; girl wants revenge. Simple and effective. The talky parts that move the story forward are contrived enough to make you look forward to the next bout of creative splatter. Nothing to write home about but it gets the job done.

From a visual standpoint, the movie was shot in HD and that lends a cold, realistic look to it. Faster shutter speeds were used in the action scenes which means more stuttery images, reminiscent of 28 Days Later for example. The added benefit can be observed in the glorious blood geysers.

The main attraction here though is the splatter. It's done with enough tongue-in-cheek attitude to keep it from treading horror territory and remains more geared towards over-the-top action. Machine guns tear holes through heads and stomachs, torsos are cut in half, heads and hands chopped off and fingers served as sushi. Arterial sprays and blood geysers are all over the place in true 70's samurai fashion. Kung-fu fans will get a kick out of a favorite cult weapon cameo, the flying guillotine (as seen in Flying Guillotine and Master of the Flying Guillotine) and a certain drill bra is worthy of the cock and ball gun in From Dusk Till Dawn. There are evil yakuzas doing blood rituals, ninjas complete with shurikens and silly costumes (a nod to Godfrey Ho maybe?) and the cheese-tastic Super Mourners Squad. The prevalent comic-book sensibility makes everything so wildly enjoyable. Good, clean, family entertainment overall.

There might be gore galore but the movie is not without its flaws either. The score for one verges on silly muzak. Some parts sound like an early 90's NAMCO video game while others are cheap filler electronica. I wasn't expecting Morricone of course so it's only a slight annoyance but 70's Japanese exploitation movies boasted wonderful string scores that would have added the extra oomph here.

The CGI however should have been avoided altogether. They draw unnecessary attention to themselves and even though one could argue they are in step with the anything goes attitude of the film, I can't help but think they cheapen the whole thing in a visually unappealing way. Just watch the flying shurikens and you'll see what I mean.

What's important though is that The Machine Girl fulfills every promise it made upon its announcement. Watch the trailer. If an over the top action splatter fest that winks to martial arts and refuses to take itself too seriously sounds like your kind of thing, the movie will not disappoint. Iguchi made it with the enthusiasm of a fan and it shows: he knows what works and what doesn't. He also knows how many times fans have been disappointed by misleading ballyhoos and trailers of promised graphic violence and he delivers exactly what he set out to do.

This film is filled with violence and gore, severed heads and limbs. So, why am I recommending it? Its fun to watch despite all that. The core of the plot is good. Ami, played by the pretty Minase Yashiro, avenges the murder of her younger brother Yu at the hands of a group of sadistic young people who are part of the Kimora clan. Ami's arm is hacked off in her first attempt to kill the son who caused Yu's death, but she manages to escape and is taken in by Miki, whose son Takeshi was also killed by the gang with Yu. It is Takeshi's mother Miki who goes along with Ami on this mission. If you don't like blood and gore, you can't watch this film. I normally do not like it, but this movie moves along at a good pace and Minase Yashiro actually does a good job as Ami. So, if you can handle buckets of blood, I think you'll enjoy it.

After her brother is murdered by a ninja-yakuza clan, a teenage girl seeks vengeance with her gatling gun. First and foremost, this movie has enough blood spray to fill Lake Erie. The death scenes are numerous, highly inventive, and extremely entertaining. The pacing is just about perfect, with the action scenes positioned within the running time in such a way that avoids any dullness. One surprising positive is the camera-work, which shows blood sprays for incredibly long periods of time. This is definitely a movie that soaks itself in excess. The story itself plays out rather seriously, but the black humor is laid on thick during the fights, so some laugh-out-loud moments are almost guaranteed along the way. This is a very satisfying action gore-fest because of its impressively long finale.

I've already heard some artsy snobs complaining about this movie in terms of character development. I'm just wondering why these tards even decided to watch this movie to begin with. They should have known exactly what they were going to get. You don't see the name Tsai Ming-liang on the DVD case, do you?

This really was my summer blockbuster popcorn flick of 2008. Everyone else can have their little CGI prairie dogs, animated monkeys, and space aliens. You can have your superheros, sequels, and remakes (can Hollywood think of anything new?). The fact remains that THIS movie should be playing on 3,000 screens! That will never happen in the USA though with it's dumb-as-dirt moviegoers who flock like sheep to see the most derivative tripe dished out by those Californian bloodsuckers. Do you people have ANY standards whatsoever?

On a positive note, that's another success this year in terms of my most highly anticipated films. "Chocolate" (a Thai action flick), "The Machine Girl", and "Tokyo Gore Police were all insanely entertaining. And maybe "High School Girl Rika: Zombie Hunter" can round out a great 2008 for Japanese Horror.

You don't get great stuff like this out of the States. Man, is there any reason to watch American movies anymore?

Ami (Asami) is out for revenge after her brother Yu is murdered by a gang of young yakuza-ninjas. Unfortunately, while in pursuit of the leaders, she is captured and one of her arms is cut off. Not to worry, a friendly couple who are also out for revenge on the same people have a solution, make her a machine gun arm! After The Machine Girl finished I can safely say this: the Japanese are still producing awesome gore flicks. Noboru Iguchi has created a film that will surely receive cult status and easily go down as one of the goriest films ever made. Firstly, this IS a gore-flick, there is enough blood spray to fill a lake. Secondly, the story is not complex or incredibly challenging, likewise, there is nil character development. Therefore, if you watch this movie thinking along those lines (I would not know why, though, as it IS called The Machine Girl) you will be sorely disappointed. If you do go in expecting outrageous gore and some genuinely funny comedy you will be very pleased! The Machine Girl really should be released theatrically everywhere, it is a fun, exciting and well-made action/comedy/drama and one of the best movies of 2008!

4/5