Zombi: La creazione

Remember, big fan of movies in general and zombie flicks here. I am used to a bit of cheese in a zombie flick.

This one stunk like the cheese counter at your local supermarket, or that big bag of especially dank green you just picked up.

The first fifteen minutes involve plot set-up (tl;dr: zombies on an island. Yes we should visit it) and the fact that our heroine suffers from nightmares. We couldn't just see her have one nightmare, we had to see three just to really hammer the message home (and to get some zombies in early / use some cool footage they had. Probably). This sets the tone for the rest of the film; dragging things out.

Our "rough and tumble marines" actually scream and prance like highly strung queens at the first whiff of danger. Particularly embarrassing anyway (stuck in my mind) but then to read that in the strapline, well yeah.

The dialogue leaves a taste like tinned ham in your mouth. People repeat things and it is so painfully apparent that these are not trained marines (apparently people with such high training need to be told three times to open fire).

But, the worst part of the film is the camera work. The worst part because it is the best part (the film does look good). This means they had some money to make this film with, they just didn't feel the need to spend that money on a compus mentus director, a script that didn't only contain plot holes and cheese, and an editor who doesn't think repetition is the key to success.

I'd give the director, the script writer and the editor an honorary Razzie, then send them on a tour of film schools around the world armed with a copy of this film to show the students what not to do when making a film.

Oh there's about three plot twists. No one involved in making this had much to say, they figured they'd only get one swing at the ball so they threw everything into the mix.

I did manage to clip and file my nails while this was on and miss absolutely nothing, so that's something.

M

Zombies: The Beginning (2007)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Italian director Mattei ended his career with this sequel to ISLAND OF THE LIVING DEAD but don't expect a typical zombie flick. This film picks up right where the previous left as the sole survivor is asked by the government to head back to the island where her crew was killed by the zombies. That's pretty much all you need to know in terms of story as you really don't even need that considering this movie completely ignores what happened at the very end of the previous one. Yes, Mattei's final flick has a lot of zombies but it's actually just a direct rip off of ALIENS. This isn't the first time Mattei has ripped ALIENS and even though this movie is extremely bad, you can't help but somewhat admire how much ripping this guy can do. Not only do we get dialogue and scenes ripped from the Cameron flick but we get the typical stock footage stolen from other movies and this time it's CRIMSON TIDE. How Mattei got away with doing this his entire career is beyond me but quite a few of the sub scenes from that movie are lifted and used here. The movie actually looks like it had a fairly decent budget as the set design is actually pretty good and this is especially true at the end when we visit the alien/zombie tombs. Fans of gore will get quite a bit of that here as the red stuff is constantly flowing with various heads being shot off and parts being ripped or eaten. The CGI effects are quite poor but it adds a somewhat campy feel to the film. The performances, like the previous film, are hard to judge considering how bad the dubbing is but most people don't come to movies like this for the acting. The film doesn't mind ripping off other movies including dialogue from DAY OF THE DEAD and Mattei even rips off his own RATS: NIGHT OF TERROR. Fans of exploitation will probably want to check this out just for the cheese but the biggest problem is that it runs way too long and there's just not enough here to warrant the long running time. Mattei certainly went out with his comeback and this film contains all the bad stuff he'll always be remembered for.

Rescued from the Pacific Ocean, Dr. Sharon Dimao tells the story of the zombie infested island she escaped. Persuaded to return to the Island with a commando unit, she uncovers worse horrors than she encountered before, and must fight to survive.

Bruno Mattei's final movie hasn't the b-movie charm of its predecessor. Aside from the flashbacks of Island of the Living Dead (2007) and the same actress playing the same character it has little,if any logical connection. Like Shocking Dark (1989) this is also basically a rehash of Aliens, right down to Antonio Tentori and Giovanni Paolucci's screenplay lifting its lines of dialogue, only the here Xenomorphs are replaced by mutant zombies. We get to witness alien cone-head zombies, fanged and little person zombies. There's exploding heads, gut chomping, dangerous explosions and all the low budget Italian production short comings you'd expect from something made in the 2000s that looks from the 80s. Sub-par acting, sound design, dubbing, editing, lapses in logic, misplaced music, recycled footage-you name it Mattei delivers it.

From the commando unit to the boardroom extras, it really has to be see to be believed unless you're familiar with Mattei's work you know exactly what to expect. Lead Yvette Yzon as Sharon gets to show off her acting chops regurgitating (maybe unknowingly) lines from better films.

Overall, it's wild, it's wacky, it's poorly executed. While not as good Mattei's penultimate DTV Island of the Living Dead, in a weird way this still manages to encompass the staples synonymous with his outlandish work.

They indeed used the script of alien, its like the movie alien 3 but much worse. but for the effort i gave them a 2. so if you expect a good movie full of action packed horror don't watch this one. on the other hand if you like crappy movies this is the one.

things i learned form this movie:

explosives used to blast a door open, the blast impact works both ways.

zombies have teeth which are similar to vampires

an eyeball can be attached on the top of your head where your hair is supposed to be.

motion detectors make a distinctive sound

i really can fall a sleep watching a horror movie

Unless you live in another planet, people that watch this type of movies have seen Alien II This story line and progression of the movie, it's that other way better movie.

I like low, low, low budget movies, and I think this one actually had a few dollars, just to bad they forgot to pay the writer some money to come up with something original.

Asian Zombies, I'm cool with that, but please, better dub would not have hurt.

The movie in not even worth renting, but it was fun to see this people's version of the space marines.