Monster Island

Eric Roberts. WHY hire him? WHY WHY? He wasn't wearing the correct uniform and needed a haircut BADLY for being in the "navy".

The submarine existed of about $100 worth of materials. It looked like those zero turn mower handles were on it. The hatch was thinner than an aluminum garbage can lid. They did put 4 over size pressure gauges in the sub to make it look technical haha. This movie is NOT to be taken seriously. When the sub comes out of the ocean you can see another object underneath it lifting it up above water. There were no "monsters" in this movie at all. Just very poor cgi 3 second glimpes of a limb or something.

I've seen better High School movie productions from up and coming film makers. Yes, is is that bad. Only watch if you want to shake your head from side to side at the utter amazement that someone even financed this movie.

If I was in it, I would not put this on my resume. I'd swear I must have had someone look like me and steal my name. Yes, once a gain. It is that bad.

Evidently, so far the ratings of 1 seem to actually be telling the truth. One very positive reviewer must be one of the stars relatives.

I first came to know of The Asylum through their infamous Mega Shark series and other wacky monster films, which were fun trash to watch (key word being "fun"). So, when I heard they were doing their own version of the classic Monster Island (an idea first introduced in the Godzilla franchise), I was curious to see. Needless to say, I was disappointed.

So, the plot goes that a deep-sea prospecting expedition disturbs a kaiju, which threatens the world. While the military tries in vain to kill the creature, a team of scientists heads out to find an equally powerful beast to stop it. Sounds like a nice setup for all kinds of crazy carnage, right? Too bad, barely anything happens. The Asylum is known for making films featuring mass destruction and over-the-top action but this film surprisingly underplays it. Anything that is remotely exciting happens literally for a few seconds at a time with the rest just being the characters just observing and talking for long stretches of time. Monster Island itself isn't even the main focus, only appearing within the climax of the film and the actual "battles" between the monsters are uneventful and last as long as a blink of an eye.

I'll give the film credit that the graphics and animation have improved somewhat since the first Mega Shark, the creature designs are decent, most of the acting is adequately straightforward with a few silly performances, and the kaiju lore is okay if derivative. Sadly, this is all bogged down given how there's little payoff or excitement to be had here. All in all, "Monster Island" is a snooze and should simply be skipped.

Some very good actors dumped in a cast of lesser performers do their best to make this liw-budget monster film watchable. I had a few decent laughs!

I was looking forward to the low-budget mirth promised by this low-cost affair that promised to be a cheap-and-cheerful Godzilla/Pacific Rim romp, but it is really, really, really bad. The monster action is pretty limited and a giant lava-filled starfish is not really my idea of a menacing giant terror, I must say. This might be mitigated with a likeable and engaging cast of human characters, but alas...Sometimes Asylum films deliver the so-bad-it-is-great goods to at least entertain in a perverse way, but this effort is just dispiriting and beyond dull - which is a crime for a mammoth-beast-on-the-rampage flick. In terms of the nominal star, I thought that The Cloth must surely be the nadir of Eric Roberts' career, but apparently not. Hopefully The Killers will soon come a-calling for him to appear in another one of their videos so that he can say no to the next Asylum call.

So, my advice regarding this film is this: don't weigh anchor at this island, just sail on to a better movie.

Why are these filmmakers still allowed behind a camera. Worse dreck in celluloid history. Looks like they walked up to some random guy on the street and said: Here's a thousand bucks to make a movie about kaigus, see what you can do. Apparently the guy pocketed 900 dollars and used the remaining 100 to hire some actors, director, sets and an etch a sketch for the effects. Of course I didn't watch this whole dreck; just FF to see how bad it could get. There should be a law.