The Pickup Game

This haunting, heartbreaking and disturbing film takes us into the hidden world of pick-up artists and the seduction schools they run.

We get a close up of how these schools work, the kind of things they teach and how these teachings are put into practice. I'm sure other women will recognize some of the tactics that are shown in this film. I know I did. Forewarned is forearmed as they say.

And yet, as much as I was appalled by the behavior of many of the people in it, there were aspects of it I could relate to. And this is what makes the film such a challenging viewing experience. Almost as if it's trying to remind us of our humanity. I couldn't help but feel for the shy, socially awkward men that get caught up in this world. Clearly some of them come into it with the best intentions. Although it doesn't necessarily stay that way.

The Pickup Game is a tough watch, but it feels essential, not just for its vivid picture of a fascinating, deeply troubled crisis of masculine identity, but also for its wider significance: as a plea for people to stop being so horribly selfish and transactional. Almost as if it's a call for us to return to our basic humanity and rediscover genuine connection with each other.

I saw this documentary at Hot Docs in Toronto and really enjoyed it. I knew a little about this pick up world but was quite shocked at how far it's gone and how it's rooted in abuse and manipulation. I would suggest everyone see it, to be more and more aware of the level of toxic masculinity that exists in this world. The film does empathize with the fact that these men often unfortunately lack role models and are taught not to be themselves in order to attract women.

Saw this recently at Hotdocs in Toronto and I have to say I was left sooo frustrated. Why did two middle class straight white male directors decide to be the feminist voice on this problematic issue? Don't get me wrong, I admired the activism attempts in the film to fight misogyny and toxic masculinity but why not give female directors and producers a real voice? There was also no mention of issues surrounding the gay and trans dating scene and the problems within. Sigh.

This film intrigued me for several reasons: I had read Neil Strauss's book The Game when it was released (probably like everybody else of my generation) and knew a few friends who had dabbled in this scene. So I was curious to check it out.

Without revealing any spoilers, I will just say that no one could have scripted an investigative film that would have had as much impact as this documentary does. It's intense and very disturbing.

But for all the darkness in the movie, it actually feels quite balanced and fair. A lot of the material comes across in a unique and un-obvious way. Certainly not how you would expect it to from the title.

This thing is tight though -- and fascinating, and frightening. One to watch and one I have recommended to everyone I've discussed it with.

Years after we all heard about pickup artists some men decided to mansplain it to us. This film SCREAMS "I showed my girl this so she'd think I'm a feminist".

Do yourself a favour and skip the film. Google pickup artists and read about it if you're actually interested.