Entrega de Risco

... you can't be bothered to write a review. This is one of those films.

and now I have to fill out 10 lines of text for the minimum review length. Sometimes I sort of wish I never started doing something, so I guess in a way writing this review is very much like The Courier, essentially pointless and a complete waste of my time and not even getting to the level of 'so bad it's good'. It's actually amazing that I've managed to write this much to be honest, I only finished watching The Courier 10 minutes ago and it's already slipping out of my brain to the extent that I'm not entirely sure what actually happened at the end anymore (the first half has gone already). Normally this would be good as valuable brain space isn't being taken up by The Courier but I expect by the end of the day all memory of this very forgettable film will be erased from my memory which leaves the very real possibility that one day in the future I might see it's title when I'm looking for some rubbish action film to watch and actually waste my time by watching it again with a nagging sense of déjà vu and I won't be sure if it's because I've watched the courier before or that it's just generic rubbish.

So that's 10 lines of text done (in fact more than 10 lines which is a lot more than The Courier deserves) so I'm going to do something more interesting than watching The Courier such as watching paint dry or sitting in a dark empty room.

Never heard of this movie before? Well, keep it that way! There is absolutely nothing worth seeing about this movie, that is basically being just a very standard modern action flick, with a poor story but even worse storytelling.

Quite weird and surprising to learn that this movie got directed by Hany Abu-Assad, who definitely has class and skills in him and is mostly known for directing smaller type of movies, with a strong message in them. Most definitely not dumb action flicks such as this one!

I can see what kind of approach they were going for but they obviously failed with it. They tried to create a smaller and more realistic type of action movie but the story and its characters really aren't suited for that. I actually believe I might had liked this movie better, had it been done as a silly and over-the-top action-flick, in a more '80's type of style.

The movie has a very simple concept but it makes things needlessly difficult. Because of this you will start to loose interest in it all pretty fast and after a while you simply have no idea what is going on anymore, simply because you just don't care about anything that is happening. The storytelling really makes this a far from pleasant movie to follow. Just imaging a Chuck Norris flick, with all of its clichés, getting told as a serious movie. That should give you an idea of how this movie is like.

Those who are looking for a movie with plenty of action to enjoy will also end up feeling disappointed by this movie. This movie feels like such an extremely low-budget one and things don't get any more exciting than a couple of poorly filmed gunfights. Certainly nothing spectacular, surprising or exciting about this movie.

Just forget about it!

4/10

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The Courier is a strange little flick that dabbles in the kind of pulpy narrative which the 80's were famous for. One lone antihero sets out to deliver a package of enigmatic value to a recipient that is always one step ahead of him, proving to be quite elusive. Bad guys and gals hinder him at every turn and violence ensues, leading up to an inevitable confrontation and in this case a neat little twist that admittedly defies any sort of reason, yet is fun for the actors to play out and provides sensationalism, a trait that's commonplace in such films. Jeffrey Dean Morgan is a haggard presence in any role, a guy you immediately feel rooted to in a scene. He gets the lead role here, playing an underground criminal courier, passing along dangerous goods from one cloak and dagger person to another. His latest task comes from his handler (Mark Margolis): Deliver an odd case to a reclusive criminal mastermind known only as Evil Sivle. Little information is given beyond that, but it soon becomes apparent that his mission is a cursed one, as he finds himself a hot target for all kinds of weirdos. German live wire Til Schweiger plays a dirty federal agent who hassles him with that campy charisma and narrow eyed theatricality that only he can bring to the table. Miguel Ferrer and Lilli Taylor are priceless as Mr. & Mrs. Capo, a pair of married contract killers who discuss their dinner plans whilst hunting their quarry, and have devised some truly vile torture methods involving culinary instruments. Yeah, it's that kind of movie, where B movie mavericks are let off the chain and allowed to throw zany stuff into their otherwise pedestrian material that often borders on experimental. Morgan is assisted by a young chick (Josie Ho) who saves his ass more than a couple of times. Mickey Rourke shows up late in the game as Maxwell, a mysterious Elvis impersonator and Vegas gangster who plays a crucial role in Courier's quest. Trust Rourke to take a derivative, underwritten supporting character and turn the few minutes of screen time he has into utter gold that elevates his scene onto a plane which the film as a whole is sheepishly undeserved of. Morgan is better than the flick too, but he's great in anything. He ducks the heroic panache of the action protagonist and dives into growling melancholy, his grizzly bear voice and imposing frame put to excellent use. This one got critically shredded upon release. Yeah it ain't great, but it sure as hell ain't terrible. Worth it for a cast that makes it work, and for that classic genre feel that can't be beat.

A Courier (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) is tasked with delivering a package to a crime boss (Mickey Rourke) thought to be dead. Hilarity ensues.

"Yeah, I Watched This Movie". That's the attitude I had when "The Courier" reached its conclusion. We have seen this type of movie before, often, and we have had more fun at the expense of a larger budget. But like so many other movies nowadays, we feel a bit let-down when the screen goes black.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan, an exceptional actor who never seems to be the right fit for his character, does the best he can with what he has. His character wakes up in a crummy apartment infested with mice. He uses superglue to fix a nasty cut. Yet despite all this self-loathing, he has good friends and family that he cares about. What's with that?

The female lead is bizarre. Her hairstyle makes it appear as if her follicles are desperate to escape from her scalp, and considering how bad it is, I can't blame it for trying. She also has an unnecessary dubbing-over occasionally when she speaks. Perhaps they shot the film and forgot to record her at places.

Mickey Rourke and Til Schweiger, the other draws on the cover, are under and wrongly used. Rourke's head is only visible for the first half of his scenes, the latter's introduction is corny. Schweiger's bodyguard hasn't ever seemed to have used a fire arm before, let alone in a movie.

An odd assortment of has-beens and ne'er-do-wells fill out the rest of the cast. Lily Taylor and Miguel Ferrer play a Team Rocket type pair of villains who never say much besides grunts and gunshots. Mark Margolis, the definitive "that guy!" of actors plays Morgan's dad, or something. I'll give you one guess as to his fate.

"Yeah, I Watched That Movie." That is what I will say to people when they ask if I have seen "The Courier". And it might take me a minute to remember exactly what they are talking about.

This movie certainly had style. It seemed to be directed well. Editing was crisp enough and on the surface it looked pretty interesting. Cinematography was basically very good and quite inventive with a lot of action. But the whole package was a mile wide and an inch deep because the screenplay was a muddled mess, the storyline was laughably inane. Mickey Rourke and Lili Taylor, two actors who can really deliver the goods, were incredibly wasted and about a third of the way into it you realized it was going to be all style and no substance, and that was when I just stopped caring. A clue as to what happened comes when the credits roll. Producers, co producers, associate producers, executive producers galore. Too many cooks in the kitchen destroyed the soup. I've never quite seen a movie like this that had promise and so much energy put into production, but ultimately fell flat on it's face. The first movie that I've seen where I'm completely at a loss as how to rate.