O Céu não Pode Esperar

Let me start by saying that I have always been a Rob Schneider fan. The rubber faced act that Jim Carry brought to fame is all the better when its tinged with the smell of true desperation and for me this has always been the appeal of Rob Schneider.

Although brilliant, he has in many ways escaped fame and been relagated to the same bunker as legends such as Bruce Campbell, by which I mean that special group of guys who cant help but be funny even when they are trying to be serious.

I found myself at several points in this film bursting out laughing at Rob, even though he was just playing things straight. Not because he is a bad actor, far from it, but just because he is one of those guys that radiate humor like stink lines in a cartoon.

Quickly though, and despite the largely cheesy and casually racist plot, I found myself drawn into the Schneiders sinceer attempt to act his balls off, and do you know what, I don't think he did a bad job.

Everything about this movie should spell a flop, its obvious, stereotypical to the extreme, and more than a little ridiculous but a maturing Schneider some how makes it work and some how manages to extract from my blackening and shrivelled heart a grain of genuine emotion. So, well done Mr Schneider, your foray into drama has been a largely successful one, and it has been nice to see you act for a change.

Keep it up.

I always thought Rob Schneider was a good actor - even in smaller roles he always shines. But "The Chosen One" shows he's got dramatic range. It's funny but not a full blown comedy. I liked it. Schneider co-wrote and directed it. There are a lot of great supporting roles in it like Steve Buscemi as his brother. When have you ever seen Steve Buscemi in a project that wasn't good? Holland Taylor from "Two and a Half Men" plays their mother. There are a lot of familiar faces in it. In a crowded marketplace of lowbrow comedies this one stands out as classy and heartfelt. Check it out. I thought "The Chosen One" was better than "Grown Ups" and some of the other R-rated summer comedies.

It's as if everyone in the film was acting in a comedy... except Rob Schneider, who played it totally straight. Not straight in a funny way like he was the straight man in a comedy. I mean he played it straight, as if he were in a serious drama. My reactions were; confusion, disappointment, irritation... and finally... well, after finally seeing that Rob was doing a darn fine job of dramatic acting (even though this was marketed as a comedy) I fast forwarded to the end, then ejected the DVD.

My final thought was, "Boy, he must have been mad at the director or something because it was like he intentionally ruined that movie by playing everything too straight." Rob is not a stupid guy. He had to have known he was screwing up what could have been a funny little comedy. Weird. I must say though, if his performance could be cut out and pasted into a drama it would have been very impressive.

Paul (Schneider) has lost his wife, is about to lose his job and tries to do himself in when he is visited by strange people from Colombia, South America who have anointed him as The Chosen One.

If One is going direct Oneself in a movie, One's name should be Clint Eastwood.

Schneider helped write, produce and direct himself in this barely watchable movie. One rule of radio is needed here: Let not DEAD AIR rule the airways. Here the acting was tentative by Schneider as though he was concentrating too much on watching himself direct and watching himself act all at the same time, and the result was too much hesitation when that wasn't called for. Yes, his character was going through some stuff, but the hesitations were like a football player consistently fumbling the ball. Doesn't look good. This is not the Rob Schneider I thought I would see. He needs to go back to Adam Sandler and beg for a job.

This is not a comedy, not a drama and is more of an outline of I don't know what in the sense: "let's see how this might go" , or "let's try this" and staying with those bonehead ideas. I saw where it could have been a comedy, but…………

The questions I had and Paul never asked in the beginning when he was told he was the Chosen One was: Why Me? followed up by: what do I have to do? And what am I supposed to do. Okay, he did ask why me? but didn't ask the other questions. No, we had to suffer through the movie to find out what he had to do to earn the title. Fair enough, but I still would have asked those other questions. Come on, tell me I am the Chosen One and you will hear the questions. Thought so. Am not, right? Thought so. Hmmmm..........

So later he climbs a tall building to put a hawk's nest back. But, when the hawk's nest was first removed, someone from the window above the nest quickly snatched up the nest. Why didn't Paul use that same window to put the nest back? Not much excitement in opening a window and plopping down the nest, is there? If a door or a way was blocked to do that, it should have been shown. It wasn't. He ended up climbing. Of course, we all wondered if he would fall.

John Schneider also helped produce this. I thought they may be brothers but cannot find that to be the case. But, that may not be the same John Schneider (Dukes of Hazard, Smallville) I am thinking of. Hey, I just learned there is another Christopher Lloyd (helps write for Modern Family TV show), and not the Back to the Future and Taxi guy. Hard to keep your eye on the ball these days. Reminds me of a story where almost everyone was named James Bond. Yes, they all said, "Bond, James Bond."

Violence: No. Sex: No. Nudity: No. Language: Not really, mild stuff and not much of it.

I found the above description on this movie's board on IMDb, and it's better than anything I could come up with.

This is relevant because anyone expecting a typical Rob Schneider movie (The Hot Chick, Deuce Bigalow, Big Stan) will be very disappointed, or worse, depressed.

Rob Schneider plays Paul, a depressed alcoholic car salesman who tries to kill himself after being dumped by his lady. 3 shamen and a girl from Colombia find him, claiming he's the chosen one who will save their mountain. Paul then faces a series of situations at work and in life which help him make an important decision.

I certainly didn't expect a movie like this, as it is very bittersweet, and potentially a career-destroying move. But it has its heart in the right place, it feels honest, and I believe it must be commended for that.

Unfortunately, I can't say it's very good movie. "The Chosen One" looks cheap and feels very disjointed, with special effects that look like the ones found in Discovery Channel's documentaries from ten years ago. The pacing is weird, everything seems a little bit "off" and "direct-to-dvd".

The few comic moments are mostly black humor, and almost all of them are in Steve Buscemi's scenes. He's a top notch actor, and his superior quality clearly shows here when he elevates the whole movie to a whole new degree.

But I did like it, amazingly, and can certainly recommend it to people who need a little more light in their lives.

Just don't watch this thinking it's a comedy.