Dark Rising: Bring Your Battle Axe

This movie is lame and not funny at all. The plot doesn't even make sense. Some scientist who works on the fringes of science opens a doorway to another dimension (maybe hell???) and his daughter gets sucked through it or something, then one day for no apparent reason she comes back and now she has big breasts and wears a skimpy outfit (I guess the demons in the other dimension made it for her?) The main character is a guy who wants to marry his girlfriend but she is gay so obviously she's more interested in her new girlfriend, and they stumble upon this witch spell book (they want to be witches or something???) and the evil spell ends up getting read again which is how the evil demon comes to earth which only the bikini top girl and the spurned guy in love can stop apparently. There is topless scenes for no reason and a guy in it who my boyfriend says is a well known wrestler but his part is completely unnecessary, obviously they made something up just to put him in it because then maybe wrestling fans will actually watch this pointless movie. I'm sure the topless girls doesn't hurt there either. The extra features on the DVD were even more confusing than the rest of the movie, I thought it might help explain what was going on but it actually just made things more confusing. Who are these people and what are they doing? Basically this is a go-camping-to-make-out-then-fight-a-monster movie but there are a bunch of things (like the other dimension and book seller) than make it confusing. I didn't like the movie but it was only like five bucks so big deal. I don't recommend watching it though it was just too stupid, I can't think of any part of the movie that was good.

As a girl, Summer Vale witnesses her father attacked by dark forces. She is taken by those dark forces into a brutal S&M existence. Jason Parks is organizing a trip with brutish friend Ricky. Marlene brings along his ex Jasmine as her lesbian partner. Renee uses her natural skills, a magic book, and a special place to call upon Summer Vale.

This is straight up B-movie territory. It's better than most but it's still bad. The dialogue is clunky and cheesy. It's not quite bad enough to be funny. Jason's jokey tones do not work. The lead is a bad actor. Why would Summer's childhood home still exist in pristine condition after 20 years? The demon design is a mess. The acting is mostly B-level. It is curiously watchable but lacks any goodness.

When Jay Reso aka Christian Cage departed the WWE there were a few goals he wanted to achieve, one of which was to become a world champion, and the other was to try his luck in the acting field. The first part certainly came true as he quickly rose to the top of TNA and finally received the recognition he deserves, and now the second is becoming true with the release of Dark Rising on DVD. Billed under his real name, Jay Reso, Christian, plays Ricky in this rather unique blend of comedy and horror.

The films lead character, Jason, is going through a rough time. Recently his fiancé broke off their relationship, but Jason cant let go of his feelings for her, Meanwhile, his ex, Jasmine has moved on in a whole different way as she has now adopted lesbianism as her way of life, which provides for a lot of the sexiness of this film as there is some full on make out sessions with her new girlfriend. As a last ditch effort to woo Jasmine back, Jason, alongside his good buddy Ricky (Reso) organizes a camping trip and invites, Jasime, and her two friends, not realizing one of them is her new girlfriend.

After seeing the movie poster and reading what I've written so far your probably wondering if im talking about the right movie, Its the same thought that went through my mind when I received the DVD, and having read the movies plot on the internet weeks before getting into my hands, This is where the films unique plot twist comes into play.

Jasmine and her two friends, Marlene and Renee are aspiring witches, as mentioned though, Jasmine and Marlene are more interested in making out than actually mastering any sort of witchcraft powers. Leaving Renee, who is a bit of a bookworm, and with that determination, she accidentally opens a portal to another world. This allows Summer Vale, a lost little girl, who when she was young was dragged into this other world to return to earth,all grown up with battle axe in hand. I know it sounds like this comes out of no where but her disappearance is explained off the top of the film. Also passing through the portal is a demon, long story short, it must be stopped, and Summer is the one to do so.

I gotta admit, the story is kinda weird, and at times I found myself wondering if I should be taking parts as a scary scene or as a comedic scene, That may be the beauty of the films story as you could often take it either way, ultimately though taking each scene for what it was and just trying to watch the progression of the film, not to mention the rather enjoyable sex scenes, I made it through Dark Rising and didn't regret watching the film at all.

Christian is a natural in this film, his wrestling days probably helped him a lot here as his character was almost your typical heel in that he is usually the cocky in charge ladies man, but when faced with some overcoming adversity morphs into the coward role. I honestly think that he has the potential for a future in the acting field.

The DVD offers all your typical bonus features including the behind the scenes featurettes, deleted scenes, and director/cast commentary, but also offers a complete TNA Wrestling match between Christian Cage and Rhino inside a six sides of steel barbed wire cage match from a November 2006 edition of Impact.

Sometimes I'm surprised how a movie can spawn something more than just the initial one that was released. Curious to a point but not to the extent I want to go out and check the other movies based on this or even the TV show. Now this is a teenagers wet dream (some teenagers), for male viewers for apparent visual and story reasons for female viewers because of the beautiful yet strong warrior woman on display.

There is nudity and there is comedy ... and there are some fights (overall fine though nothing to get too excited about). And there is one quite cool moment when the artist formerly known as Christian (Wrestling name) is on the receiving end of his own finishing move from his active days. Moments like this may be enough for some, but others will feel things missing. Script is ok, but nothing special. Have seen worse of course if that makes it better ...

If you are looking to watch an action packed blockbuster movie, stop reading and move along. If you are looking for a good old fashioned solid 'B' movie, this is it. It's not on the same level as say Sam Raimi's classic "Army Of Darkness, show casing the chiseled chin and the witty quips of Bruce Campbell.

Yet this movie is the best recent attempt to bring back the campiness that 'B' movies used to offer to the world. Unlike lack luster blockbuster movies this movie is not eye candy, it's brain candy, which Roger Corman has proved time and time again that a movie trying to be serious can be seriously funny if it's made the right way.

There is no real story in this movie, no real explanation of what happened, where it happened, and why it happened. What there is a great gaggle of eclectic characters. Some typical flashing of skin, and splashing of blood. That is all that matters to this kind of movie.

Plus the appearance of Canadian wrestler "Christian Cage" in a role that would make Bruce Campbell throw up a little in his mouth with pride, was a refreshing surprise, along with the double threat talent of brains and beauty in co-star and producer the stunning, and we need to see more of, Brigitte Kingsley.

If you want to feed your brain some mush, this is a movie for you.