Dard Divorce

this is one of the best comedies I have seen in the comedy genre, I just love how the actors pretend to act really bad but it doesn't stop there its really cool how even the editors and mixers go so far as to purposefully screw it up so to make things really funny for the viewer

AHHHHH....F*ck IT!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS THE WORST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN PERIOD!!

editing = awful mixing = awful acting = awful story = awful everything else = awful

The lowest score I can give this movie as per IMDb's ratings is 1 out of 10, my personal score is -10 out of 10 ,what can I say, the second worst movie in the world is a Masterpiece compared to this ,this is my first ever comment on IMDb ,iv been too lazy to comment before if you want to know how bad this movie is ....I felt compelled to get up off my lazy A** for the first time and write this comment.

A German woman who's lived in the States for at least 15 years marries an American and has two children with thick German accents.

This is how the movie starts. Could it really get any better? The answer is no. No it cannot.

There's very little recommend this "movie". I believe it might be the only film that contains only male nudity. The movie got made and somebody saw it. That's about the only win here. It's also made the list of Most Violent Films Ever Made. And it probably deserves that.

With the caveats dispensed, the movie is Scheiße. There is not one believable performance. The script makes porn movies look intelligent. Every now and again, a glimmer of hope shines only to find the shadow of a miserable line, bad special effect or a ridiculous plot point snuff out its spark. People die from a shot to the shoulder. I don't mean bleeding to death. Apparently in this world your brain lives in your shoulder. Worse, the people who live in this world think getting shot in the shoulder means death. Which is odd, because after you've had your face smashed with a hammer a dozen times, the arteries in your arm severed and your limbs pumped with a local anesthetic and you can STILL manage to drag yourself up a flight of stairs and then walk across the floor, you'd THINK you'd have a better understanding of what the human body can take.

The biggest crime is the end. Don't worry, I'm not giving anything away because the score almost drowned out the actors so I'm not 100% sure what happened. This happened in a few places killing any chance of understand the "action". Did the filmmaker not watch his own movie? Was he so bored that he said "f*** it. I got paid and it's not like I'm making anything of value"?

2 stars because otherwise someone might stumble across it on the "worst" list and watch it by accidents.

Dear Mr. Ittenbach... you are an important part of the German horror movie scene and I give you credit for that. Although I am not a big fan of the later movies like "Beyond the limits" you sure progressed as a director.

With this movie I wonder why anyone would waste their time to produce something like this.

1. The main actress is ridiculous. Either make a German movie or an English one but don't put someone who can't either act nor speak proper English in the lead role of a movie in English language. The whole "my parents came from Germany to the USA"-thing was a real cheap try to cover this and its absolutely unimportant to the plot.

2. If you go for a tough mafia/drug gangster environment like in "Beyond the limits" at least make sure that the shoot outs don't have everyone laughing while getting shot and the shooters acting like in a cartoon.

3. If you want to go for the pathetic torture-porn style please stick to it and don't mush it into a story like this that falls apart on all sides.

4. Someone should really slap your editor ... the editing was some of the worst I have seen in a while. The telephone scenes with the endless dissolves were hurting my eyes.

5. While you are at slapping people please slip your sound mixer even harder (altough I guess thats also the editors mistake). If you have people with uninteresting monologues and put ridiculously loud and bad music on top so you barely hear anything i wonder if the movie was edited on crack.

6. The Effects were great as always and the cinematography was way too good for the many other flaws that could be forgiven in a school project but not in such a movie.

So please... either make trashy and gory movies or try on the more serious stuff but this looks like you don't know where the hell you want to go. At least I learned that "dard" is Persian for "pain" and believe me... this movie was pure dard for my eyes,ears and brain.

This film must have the worst actors I've ever seen, I mean even sitcom actors are Oscar worthy compared to this.

Then the way the story is being told..... it's a wonder I didn't fell asleep. The only reason I'm giving this movie a 2 out of 10 is because it only wasted 87 minutes of my life, where most movies are several minutes longer (Yeah I know I just should have pressed the stop button, but I guess it's my stubborn nature that keeps me watch the movie to the end).

The idea and actual storyline might have been OK, but they screwed this one up so bad, that this doesn't even matter anymore... I hope that tomorrow when I wake up I'll believe that watching this was all a bad dream.

Like I said, use this movie by suggesting it to people you REALLY don't like and wish they'll have a awful night.

My this is bad. So bad. Really I think some of these directors who make this kind of garbage need to go and watch a few movies to get a sense of how a film should be. It honestly looks as if this guy Olaf has never seen a decent movie in his life Maybe he thought it cool to have ten gallons of fake blood a bit of a latex, and to then throw out any old crap and call it horror, but he's sadly mistaken. Dard Divorce is one of the most amateurish pieces of wasted celluloid I've ever seen, with the word dard apparently meaning pain. Well it truly was a pain to watch this nonsense and I laughed out loud when the word first appears with a policeman saying they'll have to send it to the lab to find out what it means. Yes, it's really that good.

The leading "actress" here should go back to working at a fast food joint or something because I hope I never have to suffer her on my screen again. A low budget movie does not have to mean low quality acting. That's been proved many times in this genre. Horror fans are much more forgiving however when it comes to acting if there's some decent pay off in the end, Dard Divorce unfortunately didn't have any though.

I can at least say I got to the end of this tripe which I surely want a medal for. There's far too many idiots out there with a camera now thinking buckets of blood makes a good horror film. But what makes a good film is great acting and a bit of intelligence. At the end of the movie they couldn't even spell the name of the dead dog correctly on it's cross at the grave. Spelling Bonny (maybe Bonnie) as Bony lol. What a bloody mess indeed. Goodbye Dard Divorce forever.