When Evil Calls

Would have been enjoyable but it felt like Uwe Boll was in the directing chair, the actors were given the script 10 seconds before he said action and only one take per scene was allowed.

OK so from the front cover of the DVD makes it look like a fun film about a clown. The blurb sounds interesting in its sort of "Wishmaster" set-up and at a very low price of £3 (or something near that) why not give it a go? I wouldn't watch this is someone gave it to me for free. Frankly I'm ashamed of having this in my horror collection, alongside other DVD's I managed to obtain from 'Poundland', "Live Feed", "Killjoy", "Jigsaw" and "Camp Blood" although I did not purchase this in 'Poundland', it bloody belongs there!

No where on the DVD does it mention that this isn't even a film, but made as a mini-series for mobile phones! Why would anyone want this on your mobile anyway? It's amateurish beyond belief with incredibly poor directing, acting, editing, music and writing. The collection of short films aren't even clever, they're just jam-packed with the worst special effects you could imagine and no direction of a plot.

I'm convinced that the five star review on here is from someone who was involved in the production of the film. It's the worst thing you could imagine. It's not even a film. If you see this in your local supermarket or DVD shop, just walk past.

It is difficult to imagine anyone making a worse movie on purpose. Even my current Worst Movie Ever Made, "Night Divides the Day," was made by a bunch of clueless college kids with home video cameras and no money. This movie was made by professionals, with real actors and a budget. Deliberately trying to cash in on the current J-horror craze (even going so far as to cast a vaguely Asian-looking woman as the "star"), the story of an evil force spreading mayhem through text messages sounds promising but ultimately turns into an enormous pile of crud. Stupid jokes, unconvincing special effects, gratuitous nudity, and frankly ridiculous and predictable vignettes. Avoid this movie at all costs, even if it means renting "Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector" instead. "When Evil Calls" is *that* bad.

This low-budget, enjoyably goofy British riff on cult favourite Wishmaster includes a bravura performance from Sean Pertwee. He energetically plays the tall tale telling school janitor/cryptkeeper with infectious glee! Not all the grisly interludes work, and dynamic French actor, Dominique pinon appears to be acting in an entirely separate film! Chris Barrie is unusually sedate, and the young, inexperienced, appealingly nubile cast do their breast!

The evilly wish-granting Djinn is a cliché horror clown, happy remedied by a lack of scream-time, but Pertwee's increasingly demented Janitor, and the gory film's trashy, Troma-esque exuberance ultimately won me over! In summation, the uneven feature's appeal is, perhaps, marginal, the more progressive B-movie cognoscenti might enjoy it, exploding warts an all!

In the Willburn Hall, a Sixth Form College (Note: see the definition in http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sixth_form_college), the janitor (Sean Pertwee) tells the story of the geek Samantha Neil (Jennifer Lim), the outcast Headmaster's daughter, in twenty episodes. Episode 1: The Wish – An evil Djinn (Oscar Pearce) dressed like a clown offers a wish to Samantha. In return, Samantha should indicate two schoolmates to receive a phone call offering a wish. She wishes to be popular and her wish comes true and she dates Daniel (Danny Parsons). Episode 2: Bad Trip – A girl wishes to be prettier than the gorgeous Victoria (Ebony Johnson), and she is accidentally deformed by acid in the laboratory. Episode 3: Passed Away – The unpopular Neville (Simon Nuckley) has acne on his face and wishes to have no spot. He is locked in a garbage can by the bully Kirsty (Lois Winstone) and rats eat his face. Episode 4: Die-T – The fat boy Kenny (Michael Buckster) wishes to be thin and he is pressed against a wall by a van. Episode 5: Beauty and the Geek – The alcoholic detective Ringwald (Dominique Pinon) comes to the college with his partner Detective Nelson (Sean Brosnan) to interview the Headmaster (Chris Barrie). Meanwhile, a nerd wishes to kiss the lesbian Molly (Gemma Chan) and he is murdered by her lover Kirsty. Episode 6: Dribbling – One student wishes to have X-ray vision to see the girls naked but things do not work as he had planned. Episode 7: Brain Dead – Charlie Parker (Benjamin Beechy) wants to cheat the exams and wishes to see into Ross (Jo Blacknell)'s brain. Episode 8: Pretty Dead – Victoria is in the hospital and wishes to be beautiful again. Episode 9: Dangers of Dieting – The anorexic Hilary (Vikki Blows) wishes to lose half- stone (meaning 7 pounds). Episode 10: What's Eating You – A girl sees Kirsty and Molly kissing each other and wishes to look good enough to eat; sooner Molly literally eats her. Episode 11: Drastic Surgery – Alice (Marysia Kay)'s boyfriend wishes he has bigger breasts and they blow-up. Episode 12: Guess Who Is Coming to Dinner - Samantha brings Daniel to be introduced to her parents and he wishes that his stepdad is not dead. When the bell rings, Samantha already knows who is coming to dinner. Episode 13: Smoking Kills – A girl wishes to be hot, and when her mate lights a cigarette, her wish is granted, Episode 14: Sight for Sore Eye – When Linda (Leila Reid) sees her beloved boyfriend Mark (James Rees-Hunt) cheating her with Molly, she wishes to never see Mark again. Episode 15: Gutted – Detective Ringwald reads the book "The Modern Djinn" and tells his findings to Detective Nelson. Meanwhile, a student wishes that people could see her beautiful on the inside. Episode 16: Overage Sex - Carol (Tieva Lovell) tries to seduce her teacher Mike Dale (Rick Warden) that tells that she is too young for him. When she sees Mr. Dale with Miss Nibb (Lucy Barker), she wishes to be old now. Episode 17: Good Night and Sweet Screams - Samantha has nightmares with the Clown. Episode 18: Deadly Embrace – Molly and Kirsty are having a shower together totally drunken with a bottle of booze. They stumble and the shattered bottle kills them. Episode 19: Eye Scream – Mark wishes that Linda could see again. Meanwhile, the Djinn captures Samantha. Episode 20: Homecoming Scream – Samantha wishes she had never met the Djinn and everything returns to the initial status quo, with Samantha unpopular.

"When Evil Calls" is a gruesome, unpleasant and boring rip-off of "Wishmaster" (1997). The character "The Janitor" is extremely annoying and disgusting and the host of the repetitive tales of wishes granted in the wrong way. The special effects are very poor and I believe that the low IMDb User Rating (3.4) is enough to tell how bad this film is. My vote is three.

Title (Brazil): Not Available