Alguém que Me Ame de Verdade

I had no idea what to expect when I walked into this film at SXSW. All I knew was that it was about a Muslim and a Jew who become friends. I figured it would be some kind of Movie of the Week type film with a sentimental "let's all get along" message, but it turned out to be a lot more complicated and interesting than that.

The main plot is that an Orthodox Jew (Zoe Lister Jones) and a Muslim (Frances Benhamou) work at a public school together, and find that their conservative lifestyles and impending arranged marriages make them have more in common with each other than anybody else at the school... even though Jews and Muslims as groups historically have some problems with each other.

It establishes the worlds of Orthodox Judaism and Islam so pitch-perfectly that the movie is fascinating just on the level of observing the lives of others. Though, to be sure, Orthodox Judaism does seem to get a bit more screen time, probably because the writer and the director both have more direct experience with Judaism than Islam. What we do see of both worlds is rife with similarities: both are marked by a reverence for history and tradition, and both are somewhat suspicious of people not members of their particular group. What the two lead women in this film hope to do is embrace the first part of their identities, while rejecting the second part.

Because this story is more concerned with character than multiple plot points, it would have failed without good performances. Luckily, the filmmakers found Lister-Jones and Benhamou to play the Jewish woman and the Muslim woman, respectively. They turn in two flawless performances, and prove themselves to be actresses to watch.

I took a long shot watching this one on demand as recommended to me by the robot at Netflix. This one, unlike some others, was right on. The two main characters are a delight as was, at least for me, having an excursion into two highly alien cultures. Those cultures were Arab Muslim orthodox as well as Jewish Orthodox. The pivot of the movie is simple. There are two elementary school teachers each belonging to one of those communities who form a friendship as each is soon to be subject to an arranged marriage.

Other reviews will clue you in on more if you wish to read more plot-wise. For me, the charm of the movie resides entirely in the depiction of the characters especially the two soon to be married women. I was charmed by the movie and very much so those two friends.

What bothered me about the movie and something I've not seen mentioned is the political correctness evident throughout. The Jews are depicted as narrow minded somewhat brutal or stupid haters of all things either Arab or maybe non-Jew. Meanwhile the Arabs are all mellow high IQ tolerant understanding scholars. Where the Jews threaten and brutalize their daughter, the Arabs are understanding of theirs.

Even the home life reflects this. The Arabs are a loving family while the Jews snipe at each other, whine, terrify the daughter by saying her behavior will kill the father and even includes a consistently nasty little kid.

Perhaps this does reflect the reality of the two cultures. I surely can't say personally speaking, but the contrast did stand out to this reviewer.

That said, I can't recommend the movie enough for its good points, its charm and its general feel goodness.

This is an engaging story that feels very real, and very important in our times when so many walls keep people from connecting with each other. It is so refreshing to have the bigger theme of cultural and religious differences treated with respect and interest, and with an absence of violence. The gradual and delicate building of the friendship between Rochel and Nasira is beautifully portrayed. And the film is funny! You don't have to be Jewish or Muslim to recognize the family dynamics, and you don't need to have attempted an "arranged" relationship to feel right into those first dates. The themes are familiar but never fall into cliché. The writing is crisp and the plot twists keep you wondering what's coming next. The two leads are excellently cast and balance each other without ever pushing for center stage. The directors had a firm sense of pacing -- they trust you to live into the often very beautiful images yourself. The film is permeated with respect -- for the story, for the viewers, for the creativity that clearly lived between the actors, and for the possibilities of real human meeting and understanding.

This is a delightful and thoughtful comedy.

Two supposedly diametrically opposed worlds meet in Rochel (Zoe Lister-Jones) an orthodox Jew and Nasira (Francis Benhamou) a Muslim.

Both woman are teachers who find that as they both have to find their husbands through the arranged marriage process they have more in common with each other than the secular world.

The delight is that is is a pretty straight-up great romantic comedy - Rochel keeps being set up with the wrong guys, Nasira gets the embarrassing dinner etc; of course, the road to true love is not smooth...

It really is very funny, witty - and well acted, especially Francis Benhamou as Nasira, who is stunning and positively lights up the screen with her smile.

Just a lovely film that deserves all the play it can get, and definitely deserves to be seen by anyone who loves romantic comedies.

Warmly recommended.

Nasira and Rochel are the daughters of a Koranic scholar and Orthodox Jewish fathers beginning their teaching careers at a NY elementary school, who are drawn together by their common experience of belonging to conservative religious communities. The film's title focuses on the issue of arranged marriage, but the two women are only subjected to fairly mild forms of arm-twisting associated with this patriarchal custom. The main theme is their friendship across a cultural divide, which provides support as they resist the school principal's disapproval of their beliefs and parental pressure to marry.

Nasira's father is portrayed as a traditionalist who simply cannot envision his daughter's future without marriage and children. He offers only minimal resistance when Nasira rejects his chosen prospect - and the father-daughter relationship appears to be strengthened by the episode. Meanwhile Rochel resists a comical onslaught from her mother and a gaggle of marriage arrangers when they present her with a parade of socially inept suitors. Her mother bullies her with warnings about family disgrace and lifelong spinsterhood, and blames her for her father's rising blood pressure.

Francis Benhamou and Zoe Lister Jones deliver fine performances as Nasira and Rochel. They are backed up by their support cast as the screenplay and direction navigate a narrow passage between melodrama and realism. By the time the story reaches its conclusion, only the most stubborn cynic will remain immune to these unusual heroines.