Colegiais em Apuros

Well, there's bad movies and then there's BAD movies. I didn't expect this one to be high art, but I didn't expect it to be this bad. "COLLEGE" is a low budget, uninspired, horribly written waste of time.

The most amusing part of the movie was watching the fat kid try to mimic all of Chris Farley's mannerisms as an acting style. Pathetic.

I've seen a LOT of "teen comedies" and "raunchy comedies" and enjoyed them. But "COLLEGE" is an embarrassment to those types of films. To be honest, it was just...boring.

The three main characters

• pale ripoffs of the three main "Superbad" characters, by the way...there's a Micheal Cera clone, a Jonah Hill wannabe, and a poor man's McLovin...it couldn't be more sadly obvious -

spent most of the movie covered in urine, vomit, and feces.

And THAT, dude, is the joke. For the ENTIRE movie.

"Whoops, we've got pee thrown on us. Whoops, we were thrown up on. Whoops, now we're covered in pig crap." I can't remember the last time I was willing to just walk out in the middle of a movie at a theater. But, had I paid to see it and not gotten a free pass, I would have left and asked the manager if I could see something else.

I've got no personal stake in this, and it obviously won't affect me if people see or don't see this film. But, I'm telling you, you'll kick yourself for paying money to see this movie.

Oh thats right, I have.

Lets see. Animal House, Revenge of the Nerds, Van Wilder, American Pie, Beta House, Accepted... ETC. ETC. ETC.

Whats the difference between those movies and "College?" The others managed to come up with more creative titles. Oh, and "Animal House" had John Belushi.

Seriously, if you've seen any of the above movies, then you've seen "College." The original ideas in "College" are so few and far between that you'll have to wonder if the creators of "College" actually bothered to write a script, or rather spun a wheel of clichés and inserted them in the appropriate spots. "College" once again tries to tell you what life on a University campus is 'supposed' to be like, and fails pretty horribly. You begin to wonder if the 'College' students in "College" are actually paying attendants of Fieldmont University (F.U! Get it? hah...no.) or they just happen to squat in the decrepit house near the campus. Apparently they don't attend classes, don't even OWN textbooks, and believe a GPA is a "Great Party Area" rated on a 0-4 scale.

Long story short, "College," while it claims it has something different than those other "College" films, is NOTHING you haven't seen done much better before. I hope it drowns out in its own filth and causes several film companies to go bankrupt, thus ensuring they'll never spit out cookie cutter crud like this.

Drake Bell and Co. deserve MUCH, MUCH better. They do well, but given a better script I would have been more impressed. I'd give it a 1 1/2 just because of their performances, but it won't let me so hey, their loss.

PLEASE, avoid it. You'll thank me later. And tell your friends to avoid it. Thats the only way to stop the cancerous spread

I have also caught a screening of this movie....Seriously, the comments about this movie look so set up and not authentic. Each commenter leaving a positive review says almost the exact same thing in the exact same amount of words. They re-hash the same stuff until they hit the minimum amount of lines for a comment. Plus, look at the demographic that has given the highest scores for votes....middle aged and elderly women. Also, the group that has the best chance of enjoying this film (18-29 yr old males) have one of the poorest ratings. If they are this desperate to get a good word out about this movie and are failing at doing so, I'd avoid this trash heap.

This movie is pathetic. Awful. Just awful. Really bloody awful. The jokes -- if there even are any, it's hard to tell -- are painfully unfunny. They all fall flat. They are also all of the "poop", "fart" and "getting laid" variety which we've all seen done to death lately (and done much better) in other movies about us young people. Whoever made this movie should be jailed for the rest of their life just to make sure they can't possibly even accidentally wander onto a movie set again. That is how awful this movie is. I almost vomited. Somehow this movie gave me some kind of a flu. Everyone involved with this movie should be banned from movie work for the rest of their lives. Horrible acting, horrible writing, a horrible script all the way around. Not funny at all.

What you get with 'College' is, a lamely executed farce of a comedy that relies on idiotic humor that not even idiots would find funny. Luckily, the film has more boobs in it than any film of recent memory, and a couple of the female characters are extraordinarily good looking. That means, of course, that if you're either gay or female, you're going to want to kill yourself from boredom.

A simplistic plot for a simplistic movie doesn't allow for a lot of surprises, though the film's ending does get points for departing from the formulaic 'boy has epiphany and gets girl' ending, and adding a little more to it. Our three leads are tolerable at best. 'College' boasts a mostly unknown cast, with the only 'names' in the film being Drake Bell, Kevin Covais, and Verne Troyer. Andrew Caldwell's performance as a wannabe partier is basically a teenage version of Chris Farley's entire career. Except this one doesn't have the laughs. Bell is alright, but fails to gain the audience's attention as the leading man so many tween fans already tout him as. Kevin 'Chicken Little' Covais has a few funny moments, especially whenever he's acting drunk, but adds little to the film. He's a MUCH better singer than actor, as evidenced by American Idol. Haley Bennett was my favorite part of the film as Bell's love interest. Gary Owen is hilarious as 'Bearcat', the typical crazy frat guy.

'College' has heart, and gets credit for trying, but the execution on the part of the director, casting directors, producers, and to a lesser extent, the screenwriters is what hurts the film. First, I like that Drake Bell is trying to shed his Nickelodeon image, but he was the wrong guy to cast here, mostly because he isn't a big enough name to draw in the people, and what little fans he does have aren't old enough to see this film...there lies the problem. Bell's fans can't see the movie, and I seriously doubt all the people that voted for Covais on American Idol are fond enough to waste their money on this movie. Next, the rating of this film, while very much deserved, hurts the film the most. Had the film been made as a PG-13 film, it might have been just as 'good' in terms of quality, not to mention it would have made more money. Third, all the 'f' bombs and nudity were completely unnecessary, and seem to be there just to secure the R rating. Fourth, having been to college myself, this film is nothing like the real thing. The parties are crazy, but this is too much. It is so unrealistic on every level that it's just astounding. At least Superbad was realistic...in some regards.

'College' is a painful and sad attempt to recreate college life on the big screen. If you want something more realistic, try 'Fifty Pills'. Or just take fifty pills of something. Bell is seriously miscast, and Deb Hagan's direction, along with her producers' bad choices, drag down what could have been a mildly entertaining and mildly successful Superbad ripoff.