Harpies

It *is* always a bad omen when you find out something was produced by them. Have you ever wondered what Army of Darkness would have looked like without humor or fun, and if put together by no-talent hacks? I know, right, me neither, not for a second. Well, evidently, this is what would come out of such. I speak in hypothetical terms, since part of my coping with having watched this is telling myself that it doesn't really exist, that it was nothing more than a fever-induced nightmare(the movie itself as much as the idea of something like it actually having been made), as it is truly unbelievable. Baldwin, in a performance that simply must be the very low-point of his career(!), travels back in time without trying to, and finds medieval warriors willing to use their swords, that all hold the ability to harm without being seen penetrating flesh, provided Ash helps defeat the monsters that kill, mainly by virtue of hideous sounds and music(I'm afraid I cannot bring myself to think for a second that they meant it to be that awful) as well as being brought to life by effects so immensely poor that the beings don't need to tear out the eyes of the audience, as they will feel inclined to do so just from attempting to watch this. The acting is bad. The random accents... eugh. The dialog tries extremely hard at being clever, and fails utterly miserably. Any laughs this gets are unintentional ones. This underwent a massive surgery, to replace all possible original material with painful clichés, and the operation was a complete success. What's with the transitions? Did someone peer at a cut, and think that *that* was what was wrong? The editing in general ranges between average and below. At least one character is there purely to deliver exposition, and they didn't even try to cover it up. I don't know the extent of Stan Lee's involvement in this, however, as a big fan of several of his creations, I would say, even if you love his work, you can afford to stay far away from this one. I presume the sole reason Sam Raimi didn't sue the production is that he'd have to not only have seen it, but also admit to sitting through any of it. I recommend this only as fodder for MST3King, to anyone who enjoys doing so. 1/10

Army of Darkness can be considered a cult classic, so I guess it's surprising we haven't seen more ripoffs of it. However, I can't imagine we'd ever see one like this.

To those that haven't seen Army of Darkness, a regular wisecracking Joe with a shotgun is accidentally teleported into medieval/dark ages times and must save the inhabitants there with a combination of future know how, leadership abilities and fighting ability from a supernatural evil.

It was a silly movie, but worked because Bruce Campbell has charm and wit, and the script was genuinely funny.

Replace Bruce Campbell with Stephen Baldwin and replace the Evil Dead with Harpies. Replace the claymation low budget special effects with blue screen special effects straight from a shopping mall vendor or amusement park. And take out the witty banter and one liners and replace them with dialogue that makes the worst dubbed Italian film seem like Shakespeare. Watch at your own peril. About the only redeeming feature is the female lead, who isn't much of an actor, but is attractive, in a mid 30s sort of way.

Cheap, third-rate ripoff of the great "Army of Darkness". Poorly acted by virtually everyone, although Scott Valentine is enjoyably hammy (at times) as the evil Vorian and Kristin Richardson is watchable as a pretty but feisty peasant girl. Shoddy special effects (including some glaringly obvious matte work), laughable script and limp direction are bad enough, but this stinker has some of the most inept action scenes since "Hercules Against the Moon Men" and a leading man (Stephen Baldwin) who's gained so much weight that when his "army" storms the castle, it's hard to tell which is Baldwin and which is the castle. The one-liners that are meant to be flip are both lame and unfunny (although one line when Baldwin is swinging a torch in a cave isn't too bad). Altogether, poor in all departments. You'll do much better renting or buying "Army of Darkness" instead of this 99-Cent Store version of it.

This has got to be one of the worst waste of time I have ever seen. The acting is amateur and costume, make-up, and sets are severely low budget. The actors can't decide if they are from Brooklyn or England. Half the time they try and speak with a fake accent, the rest of the time, they just don't care.

Stunts? Ha Ha. There is one scene where a guy is speared through the "chest" and as he falls down he turns to the right it is plainly obvious the spear is under his arm. I have to admit, I never laughed so hard before at a "drama".

This is what Stephen Baldwin is reduced too? Even the reality shows seem good compared to this.

Wow... If someone would have told me this before, I wouldn't have believed him. Come on, Sci-Fi have done some bad movies but this is their champion. Stephen Baldwin (I liked him before this) has done his worst role ever. He's not even acting. The other actors seem like they were picked up from the street. The CGI is nowhere. The angles of the cameras are all wrong. And don't let me start writing about the director of this movie. A 7 year old child would have directed better then him. Hell, a monkey would have directed better then him. The props look so fake and the most hilarious thing was the catapult that looks like it was bought from IKEA. The dialogs have no sense they are just a bunch of words put together in phrases that have no connection with the other phrases. I think that they should show this film only to students at film academies where they can learn what NOT to do in a film.