Harpies

...and end up surprisingly good movies.

Stan Lee's Harpies is not one of them. **WARNING: SPOILERS FOLLOW**

Let's see...where to start?

Ah, yes -- The Harpies themselves. You'd think, given that they are the title characters of the film, that there would be great time and care and attention given their design. Instead we get abominable CGI, and the live action harpies looked like emo girls wearing badly-done halloween wings.

The Action Sequences. When the harpies attack, it doesn't show us anything that convinces us that there's a battle going on. You see a bunch of people waving their swords, then you see a shot of the harpies giggling and flailing their arms. Yeah, real convincing.

The battle scenes, such as they are, show a bunch of guys bumping into each other with swords drawn. One poor nameless extra got skewered by a sword, and when he fell down, he fell at an angle showing that he was holding the sword between his arm and torso, rather than sticking out of his trunk, as it should have been.

In the museum, we're supposed to believe that these mercenaries are not only bad shots, but that an ancient cup, hit by a bullet, is just going to fall as if it were knocked over, and protect our hero.

The Casting Not too much wrong here, other than they're rather unseasoned and ill-suited for a fantasy film. Also, they got the cast wrong on here. Scott Valentine (yes, the guy from Family Ties who said "Ay!") played Vorian.

There are other stretches of the imagination, people jumping when they're supposed to be "sucked in" or "thrown clear" of the blast, etc. But this movie was just "That Which Should Not Be Made" on so many levels. My friend and I made better student films than this in college. Did anyone notice the dearth of slavic names in the crew? I thought only the Italians made ridiculous movies ("Naked Gladiators" and "Texas Rangers 2020", anyone?).

Ah well, I suppose that if they enjoyed what they were doing, that's what counts. I didn't.

Wow... If someone would have told me this before, I wouldn't have believed him. Come on, Sci-Fi have done some bad movies but this is their champion. Stephen Baldwin (I liked him before this) has done his worst role ever. He's not even acting. The other actors seem like they were picked up from the street. The CGI is nowhere. The angles of the cameras are all wrong. And don't let me start writing about the director of this movie. A 7 year old child would have directed better then him. Hell, a monkey would have directed better then him. The props look so fake and the most hilarious thing was the catapult that looks like it was bought from IKEA. The dialogs have no sense they are just a bunch of words put together in phrases that have no connection with the other phrases. I think that they should show this film only to students at film academies where they can learn what NOT to do in a film.

Sincerely hoping they all had a good time making this awful flick to ensure that at least there was some fun had here...certainly wasn't much fun to be had on the receiving end.

Based on a few posts, I was hoping against all odds (Sci-Fi Channel original, Stephen Baldwin starring) that this would be an entertaining diversion, whether it be a tongue-in-cheek endeavor or a somehow otherwise funny or exciting venture; but unfortunately, this was nothing more than a terrible film. Can we fine the actors for this? That would be fun, and I would be content with the results. Better yet however would be to Star-Chamber the producers.

This film is embarrassingly terrible and I despise the fact that Stephen Baldwin lives a better life than most of us.

It *is* always a bad omen when you find out something was produced by them. Have you ever wondered what Army of Darkness would have looked like without humor or fun, and if put together by no-talent hacks? I know, right, me neither, not for a second. Well, evidently, this is what would come out of such. I speak in hypothetical terms, since part of my coping with having watched this is telling myself that it doesn't really exist, that it was nothing more than a fever-induced nightmare(the movie itself as much as the idea of something like it actually having been made), as it is truly unbelievable. Baldwin, in a performance that simply must be the very low-point of his career(!), travels back in time without trying to, and finds medieval warriors willing to use their swords, that all hold the ability to harm without being seen penetrating flesh, provided Ash helps defeat the monsters that kill, mainly by virtue of hideous sounds and music(I'm afraid I cannot bring myself to think for a second that they meant it to be that awful) as well as being brought to life by effects so immensely poor that the beings don't need to tear out the eyes of the audience, as they will feel inclined to do so just from attempting to watch this. The acting is bad. The random accents... eugh. The dialog tries extremely hard at being clever, and fails utterly miserably. Any laughs this gets are unintentional ones. This underwent a massive surgery, to replace all possible original material with painful clichés, and the operation was a complete success. What's with the transitions? Did someone peer at a cut, and think that *that* was what was wrong? The editing in general ranges between average and below. At least one character is there purely to deliver exposition, and they didn't even try to cover it up. I don't know the extent of Stan Lee's involvement in this, however, as a big fan of several of his creations, I would say, even if you love his work, you can afford to stay far away from this one. I presume the sole reason Sam Raimi didn't sue the production is that he'd have to not only have seen it, but also admit to sitting through any of it. I recommend this only as fodder for MST3King, to anyone who enjoys doing so. 1/10

I admit not seeing all of the movie. I came home from Live Free or Die Hard (which was awesome!) and watched the last half of this. It had me literally laughing out loud, too bad it isn't a comedy. The good was Kristin Richardson, she could act and was easy on the eyes. The OK, Scott Valentine. I give him the benefit of the doubt and believe he was just over the top and cheesy on purpose to fit the tone of the film. Stephen Baldwin let his acting chops drop to the level of the surrounding cast, which was just terrible. You rarely get the whole cast to sound as if they can't remember their lines and are just reading them off a cheat sheet just off camera. Horrendous. The CG. Holy crap. This got the most,and biggest laughs out of me. Original Sci-Fi channel pics are not know for great CGI. But this is a new low. WOW, truly needs to be seen it to believe it. Probably the worst CGI I have ever seen. Avoid this even if you liked other made for Sci-fi channel movies, or tune in if you can't believe its the worst acting and CG maybe ever. But please quickly turn it off and save the brain cell or 2 you will burn out trying to figure out how it was green lit to go out to the public.