- Harold Mirfin: Does she remind you of anyone?
- Anthony DeMeo: Uh... Satan?
- Harold Mirfin: No, not my wife.
- Anthony DeMeo: We should put Sherry's roof on for her tomorrow.
- Jeremy Evans: What? You can't be serious.
- Harold Mirfin: You know what, I think he's growing up. There was a time in Anthony's life when he'd show up to a house and the roof would come off.
- Rhonda Mirfin: Christians shouldn't dance. It leads to lewd behavior.
- Gary Zimmerman: What are you talking about? David danced in the Bible. He danced before the Ark. Did you read it?
- Rhonda Mirfin: David danced before the Ark, not with the Ark.
- Gary Zimmerman: Rhonda, be honest, do you think Jesus will like this tie?
- Rhonda Mirfin: I don't think the Lord notices what people are wearing.
- Gary Zimmerman: Well good. Then I'll go naked.