Everybody Wants to Be Italian

This film is intended to be a light-hearted romp with some outrageous gags, but is actually an inept cliché-ridden mess with key characters who vary between gullible, unlikeable and delusional. Infantile Jake (Jay Jablonski) pines for women he can't have. He's obsessed with his ex, who's married and has kids. They broke up EIGHT years ago! It's too insane and too implausible to be cute or funny. The word "stalker" comes to mind.

I only watched this because of Cerina Vincent, who has an amusing reaction to a date-gone-wrong with Jake. This was probably the best part, given the film dwells on socially awkward and painfully contrived situations.

While there are some amusing characters in the fish market, it's not enough to save this fiasco. To be fair, I thought the film might redeem itself in the second act and turn into something decent. But NOOO ... the third act is a HUGE shark-jump. The pat happy ending is one big soapy cliché and doesn't help except to signal relief from watching this disaster unfold. This movie is one long FACE-PALM. I give it three (3) stars, as there ARE some (barely) OK moments.

There are a couple of flaws with this film. It feel slightly untidy and rough around the edges. It obviously lacked funding and was clearly targeted at the Sat night American market. It lacks the strong script of an independent film, but also the big budget for a good cinematographer, or at least a screenwriter to tie up the loose ends.

I was expecting two distinctive things from this film - stereotypical Italians and one dimensional characters, orbiting the main cast and providing us with some ethnicity based comedy. At one point we see a man in a white vest shouting from a window!!! The second aspect of the film I was expecting was two lovable main characters. Unfortunately Cerina Vincent failed to soften at any point during the film. I understand this is how her character is written, but any characteristic which would endear her to the audience failed to materialise, even towards the end of the film. Jay Jablonski put in a surprisingly good performance as a rude, childish but ultimately likable stalker. He just about managed to rescue his character despite the poor script. Unfortunately his character lacked emotional consistency and therefore came across as slightly mentally ill, perhaps with a touch of schizophrenia.

If you like hearing Italian dialogue in a film, (which was all very authentic, apart from the two old people), then go see Everybody Wants to Be Italian, but there isn't much else holding it together.

I attended a screening of this movie. It was wrought with clichés and very unfunny jokes and set ups. I think the other comments were by people who must've worked on the movie or been family members of the cast. I'm amazed this movie cost $3-$4 million without any real stars. Where did the budget go? It obviously didn't go to writers for re-writes. Nice thought to bank on the success of Big Fat Greek Wedding, but a major miss. There was little or any spark between the main characters and the inciting incident was a bit flimsy at best. The direction was uninspired and looked like a student film.

I don't even know what it means Everybody Wants to Italian. Is that a real saying. I've never heard it.

I think the critics who don't like this movie just don't get either. :)

I too had similar reactions in the theater I went to this week. Audience I would say liked the film, let's say a 3 out of 5 star and what I have read online so far especially from the NYC critics is like a 1 out of 5, there is no way this film is a 1, what are you watching or are we so used to what Hollywood has been running out there every five days that we forget about movies like The Godfather, hello, do you remember the score, it wasn't like it kept flowing, there were times where you could fall asleep, but no one is questioning one of the best movies of all time, now this is no Godfather, but the cast, Jay Jablonski, Cerina Vincent, Marisa Petroro, John Enos, and John Kapelos, all inter-act on screen nicely, the story line and characters ARE believable, have you ever spent time listening to Italian guys talk, this is the real deal. Call it what you will but my Italian step-father agrees 100% he loved the film. I hope the general population will not read some of the so called, "Critic's" and question exactly what they are talking about, they get paid for these comments?