S.S. Doomtrooper

I think this is the most ridiculous movie ever. It was so bad you couldn't even laugh at it. Basic plot: mad German scientist makes a cross between Hulk and Juggernaut in a Wolfenstein/Top Secret(without the humour) setting. Extended plot: none!

I normally think that, even in the worst cases, someone tries to make a movie stick to the audience, either through emotional scenes, good ideas, acceptable special effects, good actors. But in this case, not one of these things happened. The CGI was worst ever, I mean the graphics in average video games are better. The dialogues were stunningly stupid. The actors had the most horrible fake accents and the acting was simply non existing.

I also believe this is a satanic movie. Played backwards, it might make some sort of sense. In a normal setting, though, it plain sucks! This is worst than even cult movies. They at least showed the desire to make a movie. This was... I don't know what it was. I am still in shock.

This film had enough budget to have some good actors, almost accurate uniforms, good lighting, cinematographer and story outline...... but there are clearly serious problems with this production: Underwhelming CGI, careless authenticity, wooden direction and the music score which tries too hard to sound like a cross between "The Great Escape" and "Star Wars".

The main problem for me is the dialog. EVERYONE in this film speaks in sentences that are way too lengthy. I can almost forgive the words that are way too modern for 1945, but it seems like everything is over-explained in this film, yet the characters very little. They are also monotone in their delivery with horrid accents. This gives the production an almost robotic and lifeless feel and we end up not caring about what happens to any of the characters. The "Pink Hulk" is so lumbering and clumsy, I am not sure why he is a menace to more than a couple of soldiers at a time.

Finally, I really like Corin Nemic as an actor, but he was directed to be more of a Bruce Willis type of "Die Hard" hero in this film and it just doesn't work for him. He neither has the stature or the presence to pull it off. He ends up looking tense, angry and overwhelmed.

As a big fan of the video game Return to Castle Wolfenstein, I found it natural to want to check this movie out. I didn't expect much considering that it was a Sci Fi Original movie (which are never that good) and the video game itself was very, very cheesy (in the best and funnest way possible :D ). But this movie...It was too much.

In the beginning we see the "mad scientist" Professor Ullman (Ben Cross) as he transforms a human into a super soldier using atom radiation technology. The result was a huge creature with blue skin, enormous muscles, and the ability to regenerate health after losing some. I found it hilarious especially since the lab's walls (which were stone) were so fake that it nearly brought tears to my eye.

The scene changes to Captain Malloy played by Corin Nemec who is given an top secret mission to destroy the lab where the soldiers are being created at. He then assembles a team of "misfits" including the stereotypical British soldier Sergeant Digger, soldiers with terrible accents and bad acting, and some French resistance members that they had found along the way.

I found myself laughing too often during the film as I compared the RTCW and the movie. The movie was also horribly inaccurate history-wise, but you can't expect much from a movie with God-forsaken bad special effects (a bad attempt of "Band of Brothers" style) and a Incredible Hulk like creature with an insane weapon.

Fans of the game will get a good laugh out of this and anyone else probably will too.

An incomprehensible mess that attempts both a WW2 battle story and a sci-fi creature story. It achieves neither.

Weird science performed by a loony Nazi scientist (an embarrassed Ben Cross) turns a WW2 Nazi soldier into Hulk's blue cheap-fx cousin. His veins are neon, his face contorted. He growls and grunts a lot. He croaks everybody he sees: French Resistance, Americans, British, Nazis, lousy actors, mad scientists, bad scriptwriters, SCI-FI channel fans, and anybody else he can find. Soldiers futilely shoot the thing until it kills them. One idiot punches the creature after seeing how invincible it is.

The CGI technology used to animate the creature is about equal to the 1970's "Ping Pong" video game. The battle scene choreography looks like "Saving Private Ryan" meets "Saved by the Bell." The acting is atrocious, the script disjointed and aimless.

WW2 action and sci-fi fail to blend in this story, and both elements suffer. So does the audience.

I'm used to a certain amount of cheese from "Sci-Fi Original" movies. I'm used to unreasonable premises, less than ILM-quality visual effects, and "mammoth" plot holes.

And yet I was STILL disappointed by "SS Doomtrooper." Most of my displeasure is reserved for the rendering of the Doomtrooper itself. If this had been the villain on a Playstation One game ten years ago, it would have been OK. In 2006, though, with the myriad of talented CG artists available, it's unforgivable.

Then there's the writing. From having a character named Parker Lewis (see Corin Nemec's filmography,) to the selectively deaf demolitions expert, to characters who can survive what should be fatal gunshots and never see the inside of a hospital, to having a villainous monster who can shrug off being shot point blank by a tank, yet can have a hand lopped off by a bayonet, the writing was bad. Just bad.

Corin Nemec and Ben Cross are MUCH better than this...