- Amanda: Look, all our problems revolve around your geriatric loving loser creep of a friend. And as soon as you outgrow him, the sooner you'll be to reaching your potential.
- Spence Holmes: Just enough with Hogan, please.
- Amanda: No. No, Spencey. If you spend the rest of your life associating yourself with that vermin, you will become that vermin.
- Spence Holmes: [downs his beer in disgust]
- Amanda: Spencey, I love you, I just want what's best for you.
- Mr. Stack: Come in!
- Karl: Uh, hello, Mr. Stack, Mr. Conrad, Mr. Archibald
- Mr. Conrad: What do you want, douche bag?
- Karl: May I... you know... how do you... how do you do this? I don't know... Ah - oh!... All right there we go. Hmm, um... I just couldn't help but hear your conversation yesterday about Marshall Hogan and how he, you know, did stuff with your wife.
- Mr. Conrad: [grabs Karl and strangles him] What did you say about my wife?
- Karl: You don't understand!
- Mr. Conrad: I will rip your dick off and shove it up your ass! You hear me, you scrawny little bastard?
- Karl: No, i'm on your side.
- Mr. Stack: Let's hear what the butt-licker has to say.
- Mr. Conrad: Speak Karl!
- Karl: Okay, Well... I saw him this morning, so I couldn't help but notice that he had... he was driving this 91 convertible Camaro that was red, and so I said "Hey, nice car." and he said "Hell... um... thank you, Yeah it's brand new, I just got it today." So on impulse, I took out my work pen which I brought back and I wrote down his license plate number while he was driving away, because you said that if he owned a car, you would, oh darn, what was it?. What, what did you say? I ca... I can't remember!
- Mr. Conrad: I said I'd put a bomb in it and blow him up beyond dental records.
- Judge Margaret Emerson: So boys, is it true that you two have started a club where you young fellows could hook up with old broads like me?
- Hogan: Where would you be without the club Karl?, i'll tell you where you'd be, you would still be fucking files Q-Z in the filing cabinet. I bet the paper cuts on your dick haven't fully healed yet.
- Radio Announcer: In sports, the Los Angeles Cougars have won the W.A.B.A. championship.