Killer Pad

To be franc, this has been one of the most unpleasant experience I've been through as a movie enthusiast. "Killer Pad" seems to be summing all worst parts in cinematography: from poor newbie actor and awful lines to dull a script (three good friends move into a new house which seems to be the dwelling of the devil, wow, how original). To top that, this film also includes a lot of grouse and pathetic scenes which, of course, the directors thought would be very funny.

Don't mean to be uptight or something, but this movie is really crap.. In fact, it's more than that, it's an insult to the whole independent film making industry. To sum it up, don't waste your time...

Three stereotypical guys...though in this case all three come off as homosexual airheads...move to L.A. to "start their lives" where they are directed to a mansion by a transsexual realtor. After moving in, it's apparent that the house harbors a gateway to Hell, but they ignore this to throw a party under the persuasion of three stereotypical sluts. What had potential to be a decent, tongue-in-the-cheek parody of horror films quickly turns into a virtually unwatchable, unfunny, horribly acted and scripted take on what America has ignorantly considered to be funny for the last ten years: feces jokes, unrealistically slutty teens, midgets, and token racial characters. It's blatantly obvious why this film went straight to DVD with very little marketing. Englund really should have used the alias "Alan Smithee" instead of taking credit for the direction.

Wow, uh, yeah. What the hell was this. It looks like maybe the people who made this move had fun making it, but this sure was, wow just bad.

The over-the-top acting and stupidity was obviously intentional, which isn't as bad as some movies who don't even realize how bad they are, but it was just as stupid.

There were also lots of weird sexual-homoerotic things going on here. I don't really know what the hell the deal was, maybe Freddy Kruger (Robert Englund, who played Freddy Kruger, directed this masterpiece) is into that. Also, as mentioned by some other reviewers Daniel Franzese, who was in Mean Girls, has his stomach wrapped in cellophane in a hot tub scene. There is no explanation or rhyme or reason to it, its just that the lower half of his torso is wrapped in cellophane for whatever reason. Yea.

The one positive thing this movie has going for it is the death of Joey Lawrence. ANY film the kills Joey Lawrence earns at least a couple stars. But there really isn't anything else positive to say. Andy Milonakis is also in this movie, I think just a handful of people in LA who didn't happen to be working just got together to make this weird movie.

With only his second directorial showing in feature films to date, Robert Englund (best known as Freddy Krueger) brings us 'Killer Pad': the story of three loser friends (Doug, Craig, and Brody) who take up residence in a haunted house (address: 666 Perdition Road) in Hollywood. The house is wicked. Seriously. Coyotes and portals to Hell are included in the price.

The movie includes a couple small cameos (Lin Shaye and Andy Milonakis included), and features a whole host of odd characters (possessed Mexicans, S&M midgets, Joey Lawrence?). If you haven't noticed yet, and I pity you if you haven't, this is a comedy. Is it funny? Eh. There are some good one liners and stupid-funny jokes. But it's pretty much all the same sarcastic humour we've been seeing from better movies with better actors and higher production value over the past few years. I'm actually getting a little bit tired of the unattractive male-centered movies. They're fun on occasion (Knocked Up, Superbad), but they're flooding the comedy market and it only takes one like this to ruin the streak.

There's plenty of hot (and not-so) women, alcohol, partying, and crude humour, but that's about as far as your interest will stretch. It's not UNenjoyable. . . but it's just not very good.

Final verdict: A pathetic 3.5/10.

-AP3-

Idle Hands meets Dude, Where's My Car. Sure Killerpad isn't as fun as Englund's directorial debut 976-EVIL, but still he did a pretty good job making a simple teenage horror comedy. Sure it's predictable, sure it's everything but subtle and of course it's just allot of nonsense thrown together. But what did you expect to see? Especially when you put Killerpad next to recent comedy's like Epic Movie, Date Movie or Little Man, it's pretty nice to see a teenage comedy that cán actually make you smile once and a while. The film has some pretty funny moments, especially when Joey Lawrence pops up and makes fun of himself. The three main characters act pretty over-the-top, but in stead of being really annoying, they are funny from time to time.

To make a long story short, Killerpad is nowhere near a great movie, but it certainly has its charm. No hilarious comedy or great fun horror flick, but pretty entertaining here and there. That's it. Can't wait to see Englund's next directing job, The Viy.