Don't Touch If You Ain't Prayed

Understanding this was a low budget film, I enjoyed the movie. It's unfortunate there are other women/families with this mindset of desperation for the "right man", etc to come along and they usually they end up with the wrong person. The movie was entertaining and comedic.

The bad reviews for this movie didn't stop me from watching. As a fan of Nollywood and Lifetime movies, I don't expect perfection. This movie follows Pamela, a 40-year-old devout Christian woman who is fed up with dating because she thinks all men only want sex. She meets Jordan online, and then again while having lunch with her coworkers, one of whom happens to know Jordan.

Jordan seems perfect, but he comes with more baggage than a 747's luggage carousel and shows his true colors when Pamela reveals that she is a virgin. There were a few glaring mistakes. For instance, Pamela, who is 40, has a 75-year-old grandfather. How is that possible unless granddad was 15 when he became a father? Either that or dad was 15.

In terms of looks, Jordan and Pamela looked good together and had chemistry. The best acting came from Randy Brooks, who played Jordan. However, there were a lot of improbable moments. Jordan brings his 9-year-old daughter with him when he goes to break ties with the nefarious people he had been doing business with. There was a weird sequence of events where Jordan ghosts Pamela after he finds out she was a virgin, then he has his business associate call her to test the waters, as if she was the one who broke it off with him. It was very strange.

Also, since this is a Christian movie, Jordan should have been shown to have an epiphany that made him want to change his ways. Additionally, I find it hard to believe that Pamela's family would have encouraged her to be with Jordan after finding out all of the lying he had been doing.

I did like the end, where everyone was in church - Pamela's work friend, Jordan's alcoholic wife, and so on. It was a nice, happy ending.

I was inspired to write my own screen play after viewing this movie. It couldn't be as bad as this one. A single 40 year old living with her parents and searching for men on the internet is not encouraging. One sister was a virgin the other one was totally opposite! If she didn't want men to touch her why were all her outfits tight and revealing? Why on earth would you want a married drug dealer after waiting your whole life for the man of your dreams? The acting was horrible! Almost every acted as if they had just seen the script for the first time. I did enjoy the singing. But it wasn't enough to make me forget about the rest of the movie. I will keep the DVD to watch on those rainy days when I need a good laugh.

I was really looking forward to seeing an inspirational film about a woman's struggle to keep standing against secular lifestyle. Instead, I was very disappointed to find that the main character is a complete Bubble head that appears to be miserable in her Christian life and goes on internet chat lines to find her 'soulmate'. When she finds her so-called "enchanted love" which unknown to her, is a married drug dealer. I found myself actually laughing at the terrible acting, the pseudo Tyler Perry character(the old man none of his jokes are even remotely funny .. trust) If you buy this tape buy it at your own risk, remember you have been warned!!!

This one isn't subtle at all. It's simple and straightforward; a movie on the simple Christian value of celibacy before marriage. Unfortunately, the writer should've made more of an effort to show the benefits of said lifestyle which few films of this kind ever do. The characters have little to no depth, with the main character seeming to be concerned with getting married and nothing else. This makes it hard to relate to her and in essence the stakes of her love life aren't quite as interesting or concerning for us as viewers. The performances leave much to be desired but isn't the worst you'll ever see in the subgenre. From the visual standpoint, the film looks just as one would assume a lower budget, independent film from the early 2000s would look like. The music is generic sounding and dull, which always surprises me when it comes to films with musical acts involved and their character's are based on. The off-camera sound editing isn't always crisp which can be a slight distraction. I will give the director a decent grade as the film does run with the right kind of pacing to not make it a laborious watch. Though neither the comedic, dramatic or romantic elements worked too well it's lightly entertaining enough to not be upset for giving it a watch.