Spring Break Massacre

Let me start off by saying if you're the type of person who only likes serious movies full of A-List stars, then this is probably not for you. But if you like fun, cheesy slasher films then I'm sure you'll enjoy this. 'Spring Break Massacre' is about a group of girls who are having an overnight party, and suddenly become the target of a madman. Sound familiar? Thats because 'Spring Break' is mostly a homage to the 80's slasher series 'Slumber Party Massacre'. The Queen of B Films, Linnea Quigley stars in this, and even though her part is kinda short, its always nice to see her. While its not as gory as it could've been, there's still a decent amount of blood, and a high body count, so gore hounds shouldn't be too disappointed. The bottom line is if you enjoy trashy, brainless slasher flicks, then I suggest you give 'Spring Break Massacre' a shot.

Wow this is bad, well there are a couple of good scenes, with half naked chicks but that is about it :)

The film itself is a mess, I had hoped it would be an homage to the old scream queen movies or maybe just to the b-film genre, but this is just terrible and doesn't seem to hit any mark. It should have been an homage to something or it should just have had a better script, better acting, well just more then naked chicks as is the only thing it got going for it.

I can't recommend this at all sorry guys behind it, but you didn't try hard enough it seems, I will give it a couple of stars for some of the fun and the perky young women, but that is all I can do.

I'm going to be straight about this one. It is stated on the sleeve as a return to those "Eighties slashers" and also to the "slumber party's". First of all, slashers from the eighties do have gory shots and are really scary. Secondly, if you but names in it like Reggie Bannister or Linnea Quigley people do want the action they were given in those heydays of horror. But this one surely doesn't deliver. Oh yes, there's a lot of tits to be seen in all kinds from hanging to small to C cups but that surely doesn't make a horror, oh yes, it's gratuitous but there are some rules to follow. I've been grown up in the eighties and I have seen my amount of slashers and if girls go naked then they show it all. Here we only see tits whatever but if they show a shower scene with two chicks in it then I suspect they are naked but no can do here, they still were there knickers then it's a huge turn-off for those flesh flutes to play, if you know what I mean. Why Linnea has been cast is still a mystery for me, she's a few minutes on the screen, so it's for a teaser she's in it. The so-called slashing doesn't deliver too, it's okay but if you state "eighties" then I want to see the knife going in and some gore added. Oh no it isn't here. And to be honest, the storyline sucks and the acting is mediocre. Face it, in some scene's the titties do act better than the girls and let me don't mention the boys at the bar, what a terrible acting. Some people see it as a comedy, well tell me where to laugh. No no, it's not because you but some nudity in it and famous names from the eighties that you have a horror. Indeed, what a massacre it was.

I reckon some would say punished. If they believe that or just think that is the right answer, is a different question. The movie itself is quite predictable for anyone who has seen at least a couple of other horror movies. If you have you may recognize Reggie Bannister. A nice addition to any movie. Apart from blood and violence though the movie also has nudity (which is mostly expected from movies like this one).

Whatever you make of that (and the excuses the ladies get naked), the movie tries to be funny and self aware. Some of those jokes even work I'd say. But anyone who doesn't like funny in their horror movies will be mad already. So while there are some ingredients that a certain group of people might like, overall this isn't really that good or living up to the quite funny title it has

Definitely the best line in the movie.

I'm a bit unsure about exactly why this movie was made. I gave it an extra star simply for putting some $$$ in the pockets of Linnea Quigley and Reggie Bannister, even though they may be too embarrassed to put it on their resumes. Still, we all have to eat. Even Reggie must have a mortgage payment.

Where was I? Oh, yeah. This is pretty bad. Most of it looks like a home movie and there's no sense of atmosphere like you would see in the original "Massacre" series. (Take your pick..."Sorority House" or "Slumber Party" or some other.) You're never scared and you don't really care what happens to this bunch of d-bags.

I have to give special attention to the sound. The music score is pretty bad and often wildly inappropriate. As an added insult, the post-production sound is extremely obtrusive. (Check out the dialogue around 15 minutes into the film. The sound is great...just like in a studio. Unfortunately, the actors are playing volleyball at a lake.)

I would avoid this. Watch the originals. It's not even for completists.