The Insatiable

I must admit, when I first saw the description for this movie I thought it was going to be awful. Im glad I watched it anyway.

The creators of this film took a tired, cheesy plot and magically turned it into quality entertainment.

Keep in mind this is a rather low budget film with mostly unheard of actors, and despite all of this the film was quite enjoyable.

This isn't a horror film, or a comedy, or a romance, or a drama, or a thriller...its more a tasteful combination of all of these.

The plot develops slowly with perfect timing keeping you interested and tagging along with the main character throughout the film.

The originality and unpredictability I think are the qualities that stand out most with this film.

I may have given it a better rating if it weren't for the glaring over-acting by Jon Huertas (Javier) which was a severe distraction.

Over all though I would have to give my approval on this film (which is rare, as I am picky). I would recommend this film to anyone.

The vampire genre has got the be most abused genre in movie making. Movie makers just have no clue about what to do with it. When was the last time anyone made a great vampire flick? The latest catastrophe is The Insatiable. Marketed as some erotic horror movie it turns out to be a dull comedic romance, which is neither funny nor romantic. There is a lot of the awful Tarantino-esquire self-conscious direction and (mis)use of music to make things lighthearted. The story centers around a depressed loner loser (bad idea #1) who witnesses a vampire crime. Seen as a crazy guy or perpetrator by the police he takes matters into his own hands going online in search of help. He finds a reluctant vampire hunter with whom he chats online for long times (bad idea #2, people typing on keyboards is never interesting in a movie). He sets out to kill the vampire but being unable to do so chooses to take her captive in a cage in his basement. So most of the action/ interaction will take place between the main characters talking in a basement (bad idea #3). This is a looong, boring, Z-budget movie but with good production values. It's "not rated" but if it were, it's rating would be PG-13. Don't expect a gore fest or lots of sex and nudity- that's just the marketing trick applied to the title. We are told the vampire is insatiable but we have to take the character's words for it because we see no evidence of it. There's one two-second sex-in-clothes scene. Only in American movies do people have sex while clothed. Pretty soon you notice that the story isn't going to go anywhere. The male lead is sympathetic and likable but overacted as is one of his coworkers who plays the funny jerk non-stop. What keeps this movie from being a complete narcotic is the vampire who is a beautiful girl. There's also an attractive neighbor. Pretty but underused girls. The script shows some signs of intelligence here and there. The ending is "good" but given that the rest of the movie is so bad and one has absolutely no hopes or expectations that things will improve, any ending where something, anything happens, would have been good. We are told this thing was filmed in Austin although the only evidence that it wasn't filmed in California is that the girls have gorgeous hair, unlike the lifeless hair of lazy California girls. I was thinking it was filmed in Canada since it's so good natured and dull. Why it takes two directors to film this is a mystery. Half a director could have done it on a weekend. The credits mention a 'behind the scenes' director. Funny, there are no Behind the Scenes in the Special Feautures. In fact there are no extras on this DVD. A shame, any additional screen time of the girls would could have helped. Stay away from this mess.

The Insatiable, like droves of other vampire flicks, attempts to cover new ground and build on established formulas to create something memorable, and despite having the direct to video stigma working against it's notoriety, works pretty well for the most part. Sean Patrick Flanery plays a timid fellow who, after being targeted by a sexy, devilish bloodsucker (Charlotte Ayana), seeks help anywhere he can, broadcasting his predicament via HAM radio (maybe not the most effective outlet) to anyone who will listen. It just so happens that there is a grizzled old vamp hunter out there played by Michael Biehn, a jaded hardass who's just waiting for signs of these creatures. Ayana likes to play with her prey, and taunts both of them throughout the film in some amusing cat and mouse games, forcing Flanery to great lengths of survival including building one hell of a cage in his basement to trap the bitch. The material is treated mostly head on with just a smidge of smirking deadpan, especially in the sly ending. Biehn is awesome as the cranky, high strung vamp slayer, really having fun in the role. A fun, if slight little flick.

The movie just came out a couple of months ago in Germany. They retitled it "Kiss and Die". Go figure what and especially who makes those title changes. But what is more important, that the movie ain't half bad. If you like B-movies that is, because we don't get any new story elements or anything else out of it. There is a nice tweak here and there and it is nice to see Michael Biehn too. But overall the story and how it evolves is pretty predictable.

Sean Patrick Flannery playing the main character is not the most likable guy out there. Or let's say not the one you can completely understand, even if he lays down his feelings (verbally). During the end credits there will be some footage. Though I'm not sure it is or will be what you expect it to be

A homeless asks for food to the lonely Harry Balbo (Sean Patrick Flanery) while he is walking back home from his work at the American Flange company. Harry goes to a convenience store to buy a hot-dog for the beggar, but when he returns to the alley, he witnesses a sexy vampire attacking and beheading the man.

Harry becomes obsessed by the vampire and he contacts the vampire hunter Strickland (Michael Biehn) to help him to capture the gorgeous vampire. Harry builds a steel cage in the basement of his building and he succeeds in trapping the vampire in the cell. Harry falls in love with the vampire Tatiana (Charlotte Ayanna) and he tries to force her to drink rabbit blood instead of human blood. But Tatiana is insatiable for blood and sex and usually kills her lovers.

"The Insatiable" is an original vampire movie of extremely low-budget that works. The plot combines horror, drama, romance and comedy in right doses and the result is a film that worth watching. The unknown Charlotte Ayanna is really a very pretty woman and it is easy to understand why the solitary Harry falls in love with her. My vote is six.

Title (Brazil): "Insaciável Sede de Sangue" ("Insatiable Blood Thirst")