Uma Comédia Nada Romântica

Are you short for cash, Alyson? Is that why your beautifal face had to be seen on screen in this joke of a parody movie? I went to this movie with high expectations. I mean very high. I am a sucker for the parody genre. Ever since The Naked Gun films and Airplane!, Wrongfully Accused, Spy Hard, Scary Movie.. I've been a nut for these types of movies. So why was this one so bad? I can't really explain.. I saw all the movies they parodied, and still.. it just wasn't funny. I am absolutely in love with Alyson Hannigan. She's a very beautifal and very talented actress. Eddie Griffin is one of the funniest comedians to grace the silver screen in years. And please, Lil' Jon is in the movie! What's not to like? Well, the fact that basically, a lot of the parodies were just word for word retellings of some of the movies. The dinner scene was an ENTIRE ripoff of the Meet the Parents scene to a t. This movie tries too hard to be funny, and at sometimes its okay (the Pimp My Ride scene comes to mind), but honestly.. it just tries too hard and doesn't go anywhere. I can't say I was disappointed, it was beyond that. If there's a sequel to this atrocious comedy I'll eat my hat.

This is probably the most reviewed title among those I really felt like writing about, but still I think it can go with yet another mini-essay on how bad it was.

Being in a mood for something light and hearing "there's something about a funny fat girl on TV" i sat down to watch. For a reason unknown I thought about an original story about a fat girl who finds happiness or something like that. However, the fat girl was replaced with a thin girl, paired with a boy and a collection of unrelated idiotic scenes followed.

The supposed meaning behind these unrelated scenes was a parody of scenes from all well known American date movies. The problem is that date movies are often referred to as "romantic comedies" and you really can't make a comedy being a parody of a comedy. Funny turned into "funnier" results in RETARDED and romantic/erotic element made into "funny" becomes GROSS.

The cross-references to popular date movies are possible to grasp only if you remember a particular scene from this or that comedy. There is no parody of the style or genre, but only situations and gestures are copied from scenes from other movies and put in a different context or more precisely, into non-context. Every scene seems more pointless and less funny than another. Even if you are not a demanding viewer, in a mood for something silly, enjoying toilet humor and soft porn from time to time you may not be able to watch the whole of it. In my opinion to switch it off during a cat's attempt at sexual activity with a dried human corpse is already a few scenes too far. The question remains: when would YOU switch it off?

This has got to be one of the worst parody movies ever. No, wait - scratch that. This is one of the worst movies ever. There were so few laughs in this supposed comedy. They few chuckles I heard from the audience was a nervous laughter (as in, "I can't believe I wasted my money on this..."). The toilet humor (literally) was simply retarded, and a few jokes almost worked... if they were funny. Pretty much all of the characters were annoying, and most of the parodies themselves were just unfunny. I really don't know what could have been done to save this movie and actually make it funny. The concept was great, and "date movies" are ripe for being made fun of... yet somehow this just wasn't it.

I'd imagine that the main reason that people are paying to watch this is because it stars Alyson Hannigan. Well, she's in it, and she makes the most of a thoroughly unchallenging role, but unless you're a total completist, that shouldn't be enough of a reason to waste even 80 minutes of your life on this appalling waste of talent.

What the writer/directors seem to have missed is that if you're going to parody or satirise a scene from a decent movie, you actually have to add something. It's not sufficient to just throw a bunch of stolen scenes together in the hope that the conjunction will generate humour by itself. I honestly could not see one - not ONE - original thought or idea or line in the script or direction. That in itself is something of an achievement. The whole thing plays like it was scripted by teenagers, and not teenagers from the top end of the grade curve.

In fact, I have to wonder if this films is deliberately aimed at the lowest common denominator. If so, it missed by several yards to the south.

"Date Movie" is a movie that spoofs romantic comedies. The movie follows Julia Jones (Alyson Hannigan) as she goes through all the events that take place in order to marry her prince Grant (Adam Campbell). This process involves meeting the parents, breaking up, meeting the ex-girlfriend, planning the wedding and everything else that the romantic comedy genre has thrown our way. Laughs are supposed to ensue…

Just when you thought Hollywood has reached an all time low comes "Date Movie," a movie that proves that anything can be made into a film in Hollywood and no matter how bad something is people will dish out their hard earned money to see it. "Date Movie" is by far the worst pile of crap I have seen in several years and can possibly go down in the history of film as being one of the worst movies ever made.

This movie contained zero laughs, none of the spoofs were even remotely funny. It was an insult to anyone who dished out any kind of money to see this film. The saddest part about all of this is that I knew before seeing this movie that it was going to be bad but I didn't think it could ever be as bad as it actually was. All the jokes fell flat and half way through its groundbreaking 75 minute running time I wanted to find a way to end my life so I wouldn't have to sit through another second of this horrid movie.

There really isn't a positive thing I can say about this movie. The first question that comes to mind though is who the hell came up with the idea. Why spoof comedies? Comedies are already funny so why spoof them? This is a question I wondered when I first heard about the movie and now after seeing "Date Movie" I know it can't be done and shouldn't even be attempted. While "Date Movie" only runs 75 minutes they try to spoof everything they can including Bridget Jones's Diary, Kill Bill, Say Anything, My Best Friend's Wedding, Napoleon Dynamite, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Hitch, The Bachelor, Meet the Parents, Sleepless in Seattle, Rize, King Kong, Wedding Planner and so many more. You would think that one joke would work but in all honesty not a single one did. You just sit there staring at the screen, losing your brain cells, and wondering how on earth someone got money to produce this pile of garbage.

I guess you should know that a movie is really bad when it's not screened for critics and the trailer tries to sell you a movie by saying "from 2 of the 6 writers of Scary Movie" but there is always that small part of me that says it can't be as bad as it looks but in this case it's worse than it looks. It's a train wreck and if anyone finds this movie funny I am sorry but there must be something seriously wrong with you or you are just so incredibly immature.

This movie took 2 people to write and two people to direct. If I ever meet Jason Friedberg or Aaron Seltzer the writers and directors behind this crap I will demand that they give me my $6.75 back for paying to see this movie. These guys have no right what so ever to make a movie when they put out a movie like "Date Movie." There should be a law in Hollywood that if your movie is hated by both critics and audiences alike that you should be placed in a cell and beaten until you write everyone who watched your film a huge letter of apology. I really wonder what crap can come out of Hollywood next that can be worse than this film.

So to sum it up, "Date Movie" sucks, plain and simple. Even if you see it with little or no expectations you will be disappointed. I despise everyone who was involved with this movie from the entire cast who somehow read this script and said this is going to be good to the interns who didn't walk off the set after the first day of shooting. Why is it that we have to suffer through movies that are this bad? And Hollywood wonders why ticket sales are going down because when you pay $6-$10 to see a movie like "Date Movie" I can totally understand why people aren't going and would be leery of what Hollywood puts out. This is the worst film to come out of Hollywood in years even worse than "Gigli," "Batman and Robin" and "You Got Served."

MovieManMenzel's final rating for "Date Movie" is a 0 out of ten. This movie doesn't even deserve a 1 because nothing worked at all and people shouldn't have to be tortured like this when they see a movie.