- Allison Dubois: It's 9:00. How am I supposed to know you're OK? How do I know you're not lying dead somewhere?
- Joe Dubois: If something had happened, somebody would've called. If I were dead, who are we kidding, you'd be the first to know.
- Allison Dubois: Ow!
- [pulls a portable phone out of couch cushions]
- Joe Dubois: Wow. You one of those people who can talk out of their ass?
- Allison Dubois: It's not funny.
- Joe Dubois: It's kind of funny.
- Allison Dubois: Psychic with a bad sense of time.
- Joe Dubois: Do you remember where you live?
- Allison Dubois: Hmm, I'm seeing a house. I'm seeing a guy in his underwear. I'm seeing lots of dishes in the sink.
- Joe Dubois: It's amazing how you do that.
- Allison Dubois: How can you say that?
- Joe Dubois: I move my lips, I push out air. There's nothing to it.
- Joe Dubois: Ever since you made the decision not to go to law school, to go to work for the D.A. as a consultant, I don't know, you seem kinda...
- Allison Dubois: Bitchy? Cranky? Pissed off?
- Joe Dubois: You can read minds.
- Allison Dubois: [they're in bed] Here's the weird thing
- Joe Dubois: You can't possibly say that with a straight face
- [Allison is annoyed about having to clean the house before her birthday party]
- Joe Dubois: Aren't you going to get that?
- Allison Dubois: Why? It's one of the wicked stepsisters calling to say she's coming to the ball, but she wants me to stop and clean her fireplace.
- Joe's Dad: I'll be damned if I know what my son sees in you.
- Allison Dubois: It's okay. You already are damned.
- Bridgette Dubois: Don't let her chop my head off!
- Joe Dubois: Chop your head off?
- [to Allison]
- Joe Dubois: You bringing your work home with you again?
- Allison Dubois: [to Joe] What? You told me to dream about anything other than Murcado. It's not my fault my brain picks Sin City.
- Allison Dubois: He looks pretty good, don't you think?
- Joe Dubois: For a functional alcoholic - absolutely. You know he's still out there drinking by himself?
- Allison Dubois: Wow, who died and appointed you the mayor of Funville?
- [Allison is hunting for her keys]
- Joe Dubois: Keys? I would think even to get a psychic learner's permit you'd have to be able to find a lost set of...
- Allison Dubois: [holding them] Keys?