- Nora Krank: You forgot the white chocolate!
- Luther Krank: They didn't have any.
- Nora Krank: Did you talk to Rex?
- Luther Krank: Who's Rex?
- Nora Krank: The butcher.
- Luther Krank: As odd as it sounds, I didn't think to ask the butcher where the chocolate was!
- Luther Krank: Smoked trout?
- Nora Krank: It's better than frozen pizza.
- Luther Krank: What happened to the hickory honey ham?
- Nora Krank: Don't EVER say "hickory honey ham" again.
- Nora Krank: Why would we want to get tans before the cruise? I thought the idea was to get them DURING the cruise.
- Luther Krank: Look at us, we kind of look like uncooked chicken.
- Daisy: You look like a corpse.
- [to Nora]
- Daisy: And you could use some help too.
- Nora Krank: [Luther explains his idea for the cruise] How much is this going to cost?
- Luther Krank: $3,000.
- Nora Krank: We SAVE money?
- Walt Scheel: Does this mean we have start being nice to each other?
- Luther Krank: Of course not.
- Walt Scheel: Good, because I still don't like you that much, old man.
- Luther Krank: Well, that's good. I'm not that fond of you either.
- [after he leaves]
- Walt Scheel: Hey, Bev, we gotta pack!
- Spike Frohmeyer: [watching Luther steal a Christmas tree] Are you sure this isn't illegal?
- Luther Krank: Are you a cop?
- Father Zabriskie: [Marty arrives to the party, talks with him and leaves, Luther looks at him] I don't know who he is!
- Luther Krank: He brings ham.
- Father Zabriskie: Oh!
- Walt Scheel: Well, if it isn't old Scrooge himself.
- Luther Krank: How do you think this photographer got this shot?
- Walt Scheel: What photographer?
- Luther Krank: The one who took this photograph.
- Walt Scheel: Oh, that one.
- Luther Krank: Yeah, that one.
- Walt Scheel: Well, he climbed up.
- Luther Krank: On your roof?
- Walt Scheel: Yeah.
- Luther Krank: Well, why did you do that?
- Walt Scheel: I don't know. He said he wanted to get a shot of the whole street.
- Luther Krank: At least you're consistent.
- Walt Scheel: I try to be, old man.
- Luther Krank: Stop that!
- Walt Scheel: Stop what?
- Luther Krank: Stop calling me old man! You're like 10 years older than me!
- Walt Scheel: Am I?
- Luther Krank: Yeah!
- Walt Scheel: Well, prove it!
- Luther Krank: [to Nora, after she puts makeup on his face] I look like my mother. And she's been dead, what, 15 years?"