Death Bed: The Bed That Eats

I first heard of this film courtesy of comedian Patton Oswalt who mentions it in one of his hilarious comedy albums. First off let me say that I consider myself a bad movie connoisseur having sat through my fair share and being a huge fan of things like Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Cinematic Titanic that showcase and make fun of bad movies...

So I ordered Death Bed on Netflix. I have to say the movie is almost exactly like I suspected it would be. I had a hunch, this being a 70s movie, that there would be some nudity and indeed most of the women in the film are naked at one time or another. The movie is slow, tedious and weird but it delivers EXACTLY what the title says, a bed that eats.

The bed does eat. It eats a wide array of things, not just people. This is the sort of "SO BAD IT'S GOOD" cult classic that comes around once in a lifetime. Much like the equally so bad its awesome Manos: The Hands of Fate except this one makes a little more sense and does deliver some decent gore...

All in all I can't say that I'm disappointed, though the movie was by no means good... I'm having trouble rating it out of 10, it's just too darn weird to give a numeric rating to. I recommend it to anyone who wants to see a 100% unique movie. They don't make em like this anymore... in fact they NEVER did.

It was a particular killer podcast (wink wink nod nod) that brought my attention to the George Barry 1977 lost horror film, Death Bed: The Bed That Eats. I had never heard of the film previous and any mention in conversation over beds that cause death, I would immediately recall Johnny Depp's fate in A Nightmare on Elm Street.

My curiosity was peaked with the premise. It sounded as ridiculous as Rubber (2010) possibly as outlandish as El Topo (1970), so it was a quick and easy purchase as I turned to Amazon to add to my collection.

Death Bed is simply that. The plot surrounds a bed that eats. Our interest is mainly in the humans to which it consumes, but apples, bottles of wine and even a Pepto Bismol container are all part of the bed's diet throughout the 77-minute running time. It eats through an acidic sudsy substance that overtakes objects laid upon it's mattress.

The bed is fittingly located in a remote area of the countryside and we learn of its history and its thoughts (?) through the narration of a spirit that is imprisoned within a painting kept in the same room as the killer furniture piece.

Mostly, the bed feasts upon travelers, and more specifically during the mid-chapters, on three vacationing women searching for a bed for the night.

We could not ascertain whether writer/director/producer George Barry was looking to make a serious film or if he instead had designs on cinematic glory. But considering the film's overall tones and serious approach to the ridiculous premise, we would suggest the intention was sincere. And with adult moments that included various scenes incorporating female nudity, our case is that much furthered.

Our appreciation for Death Bed: The Bed That Eats might be more of a surprise than the film's plot points. We appreciated the movie for what it attempted and we enjoyed the crunching and munching Mr. King Size did on his adventures. Screened in 2013, we could hardly take it seriously. But it was with a satiric eye opened that we were kept entertained and we understood the cult epic that was unfolding in line with Eraserhead and Pink Flamingos.

Yes, even at under 80-minutes the idea runs its course and outstays its welcome. And yes, there were holes larger than pillowcases that brought out the WTF in us while screening.

Still, the title of the film doesn't hide what George Barry was trying to create. Our world might not be better having watched it, but we are glad we now have a new conversation piece at parties that is designed to garner attention.

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This is a very odd movie. From what I gather, a demon becomes infatuated with a woman and somehow magically conjures up a bed for him to satisfy his carnal desires with her. But the woman dies and that causes some blood to fall upon the bed and suddenly come to life--with a desire to devour any human who sleeps upon it. I guess it's what beds that are conjured by demons do. Anyway, in order to eat a person the bed secrets some type of yellow fluid (which I suppose is an acid of some sort) and essentially engulfs the person. However, there are a couple of people who apparently intrigue the bed so much that it behaves very differently toward them. For starters, there is an artist who painted a portrait of it and because of that he has been trapped behind the painting overlooking the bed. His comments are then given freely during the movie to clue the viewer in to what is going on. Trust me, they are definitely needed. Likewise, there is a woman who has eyes that resemble the woman the demon lusted after and as a result the bed is initially scared of her and bleeds inside whenever she is around. At least initially. Now, if the plot wasn't weird enough, the characters are pretty dumb too as they don't seem to say-or think-very much. They basically see a bed in the middle of nowhere and want to sleep on it. Naturally, they get eaten and in some cases flowers grow on the ground outside of the building where the bed is located. I'm not sure why but perhaps it has something to do with Newtonian physics. Or maybe not. In any case, like I said earlier, this is a weird movie and because of that I recommend it only for those who either like bad films for some odd reason or have plenty of beer (or other type of alcoholic beverages) on hand. Failing either of these conditions you might want to skip this particular film all together. Below average.

It's really rather Simple. The Name of the Movie Is Death Bed, The Bed that Eats. If you are anything like me, You already know if you are going to like this movie. I stumbled across this gem at Best Buy the other day and picked it up for Ten Bucks. I got ten bucks worth of enjoyment out of the title, and the box alone.

I'm a huge fan of B movies. This is in my opinion one of the greatest B movies i've ever seen. Now, it's not for every one.

Granted, it's not even for most people. As a matter of fact, i suspect their are only going to be a handful of us who truly enjoy this movie.

For those of you who like B movies though, this film is a Diamond in the rough. It has a great premise, A bed... That eat's people. It doesn't walk, it doesn't move, it doesn't have a siren call to attract people. It pretty much relies on people wandering by and sitting on it.

I loved every inch of this movie and have already seen it three times in the scant weeks i've owned it.

Like I said, After reading the title of the film, You already know if you'll like it. If you laughed or smiled, Then give it a go. it's worth it.

The title brings to mind everything that made 70's-ploitation a thing of wonder. Yet, viewers are to find instead an oddly artistic film with what must be one of the most strangest ideas for a film in all the annals cinema.

Here goes: a demon falls in love with a girl, but she perishes and his sadness infects a bed which then becomes indestructible and develops an insatiable appetite for for pretty much everything, flesh in particular. The soul of one of it's victims now haunts a painting and comments on the carnage the bed reeks. Weird enough for ya? Sloppy, cheap and very amateurish, the film is really hanging at the bottom rung of the budget/talent food chain. The acting is mostly nonexistent (except for the trapped soul, who is pretty good), the sound quality is rough and the picture is faded. Also, the editing needs some serious attention as the pacing for the film is all kinds of wrong.

And yet, the film kept me watching all the way to the end. It wasn't the trashy 70's goods that held on to me (of which, there are actually very little), it was the controlled strangeness of the picture. Unlike many odd-concept/low-budget affairs, the film starts and stays weird, but keeps itself contained; it comes off more artistic than it does simply exploitive.

Technical limitations aside, the movie is interesting, if not all that entertaining. A less budget restricted remake would be nice, but try to take it for what it is.

6/10