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Livrando a Cara

Wil: So how come we never met before now?
Vivian Shing: We did meet. Nineteen years ago. I was 8, you were 9. Outside the temple.
Wil: I don't remember.
Vivian Shing: The Wong boys were taunting me about my parents' divorce. You beat the crap out of them. You were wearing a Kristy McNichol t-shirt, tan cords and a pageboy. You spilled your mom's groceries. We scooped them into a bag.
Wil: That's right, and then...
Vivian Shing: And then I kissed you on the nose. And you ran.

[Wil and Ma watching a soap opera]
Wil: Is that the good guy?
Hwei-Lan Gao - Ma: No, he's marrying her for money.
Wil: Is that the good guy?
Hwei-Lan Gao - Ma: No, that's his brother.
Wil: Who's that guy?
Hwei-Lan Gao - Ma: He's the most evil of them all, he wants to ruin her family to avenge a grudge.
Wil: Who's the loser they're beating up?
Hwei-Lan Gao - Ma: That's the good guy.

Mrs. Shing: [Leaving message on the answering machine] Hello, Viviea? This is your mother. Just calling to say hi. Hope your birthday good. Did Wil show up? Thought you may wanna talk after she leaves. Oh, maybe she's still there? Okay. Bye.
Wil: Oh, my God. You talked to your mother about us?
Vivian Shing: Yeah. So?
Wil: "So"? Does she know we have sex?
Vivian Shing: [sighs] No, Wil. She thinks we conjugate Latin verbs.
Wil: Really?

Hwei-Lan Gao - Ma: [in Mandarin] Your neighbor is loud and dark and eats too much soy sauce.
Wil: [in Mandarin] Americans like soy sauce.
Hwei-Lan Gao - Ma: I'm going to start eating less soy sauce so it won't stain the baby too dark.
Wil: [in English] Ma, that's ridiculous.
Hwei-Lan Gao - Ma: You eat less too, so you don't grow spots.
Hwei-Lan Gao - Ma: [passes soy sauce bottle to Jay]
Jay - Neighbor: Thanks.
Hwei-Lan Gao - Ma: [smiles] Too late for him anyway.

Wil: I'll definitely be there tonight.
Vivian Shing: "Definitely" definitely, or "definitely" maybe? You know, my friends are starting to think you don't exist.
Wil: Trust me. I'll definitely, definitely be there.

Wil: How did you find out she was...?
Wai Po - Grandma: The receptionist at the Manhattan clinic is married to one of Grandpa's former students.
Wil: [in English] One billion Chinese people, two degrees of separation.

Hwei-Lan Gao - Ma: [in Mandarin] Is that how you speak to your ma who worked nights so you could eat? Who stayed in labor without painkillers so you wouldn't turn dim-witted like your cousin Jimmy? Had I known you would grow so ungrateful I would have held you in.

Hwei-Lan Gao - Ma: [in Mandarin] No one wants to see a 50-year-old Chinese woman look sexy.
Wil: Ma, you're only 48.
[in Mandarin]
Wil: Connie Chung's sexy, and she must be nearly 60.
Hwei-Lan Gao - Ma: Her show was cancelled.

Wil: It's been crazy. Vivian, there's a lot going on right now. I'm sorry if I... if this hurts.
Vivian Shing: At least it's not a flesh wound.
[gets up and walks away]

Vivian Shing: I teach down at Arts Alliance... I'm teaching them how to fall without hurting themselves.

Nurse #1: Hey, there's a Mr. Fu. He's finishing a checkup with Mr. Morgan.
Wil: Let me see his stats.
[Looks over chart]
Wil: Fifty-three, unmarried. Thyroid levels aren't where I'd like to see them, but overall pretty healthy. Okay. Be discrete but ask him if he's free Friday.
[Leaves]
Randi - Hospital Co-Worker: [turns and points at the nurse] "Book him, Dano."

Vivian Shing: What do you fucking care what kind of dancing I do?
Wil: Punish me by leaving me behind. Don't punish yourself by treating your dreams like they are for shit.

Wai Gung - Grandpa: [in Mandarin] How can I not feel shame? My own rotten flesh has gotten pregnant without a husband. You don't think people will laugh at me? The professor speaks big words but can't control his own daughter?
Wai Po - Grandma: Old man, this situation won't improve with yelling.

Wai Gung - Grandpa: Don't come back until you have a husband to match the child.

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