Arachnia

Yep, it's good fun, somewhat low-buck, er, um, no-buck special effects of the Harryhausen school, unintentionally funny dialogue, actors who seem to be buying the preposterous plotline, a couple of cute girls for the guys, a suitably hunky leading man, and spiders, spiders, spiders! Highly recommended on the fun scale, if you're expecting Oscar winners, you're in the wrong place....definitely worth a rental! Oddly enough, none of the reviews I've seen have mentioned the chemistry between the two leads, nice sparks between the two, and believable, plus, she's quite hot, also, all the actors, except for the requisite slimeball come off as very likable folks. My only complaint is that the Vermont location used for shooting can never look anything like the supposed Arizona in the plot...

In a way, you have to respect Arachnia. It's clearly meant as a tribute to the big bug movies of the fifties, and while the special effects look terrible; at least the film doesn't feature CGI. However, on the other hand; you can't respect the film too much because it's a load of rubbish. The acting is terrible, the special effects (as mentioned) are impossible to take seriously, and once you've seen one giant spider being blown up; you've seen them all, so it gets boring rather quickly. The plot follows a bunch of people who are unlucky enough to be in a plane crash after a meteor shower. They go to the only house in the area; which just happens to be a house where a man has a huge spider he used to use as a circus attraction. Coincidently around the same time, the meteor shower has caused more giant spiders to rise from underground. All the characters in this film are poor caricatures; none of them have anything even resembling a third dimension and they will soon begin to thoroughly bore you. You've got to feel for director Brett Piper as he clearly didn't have much to work with for this film; but that doesn't make Arachnia worth a damn, and overall there are better giant bug films than this, and therefore Arachnia doesn't get the seal of approval from me.

The film gets a star because I have to and because the sister, though a bad actor like all the rest (and wearing awful makeup), wasn't killed first, nor was she useless. Unfortunately, no one was likable in this awful film, especially the professor and his rock-stupid, shrill, annoying bits of fluff. There is nothing good about this film, nor do I buy that it's a take on old B-movies.

Director Bret Piper's ARACHNIA opens with college professor Munkford (David Bunce) and his students crash-landing in an airplane, and winding up in an old farmhouse.

As the evening progresses, it becomes evident that: #1- Munkford is a creepy pervert! #2- Two of his students, named Trina and Kelly are beautiful, but whiney and brain-deprived! #3- Two other students, named Chandra and Sean are the only members of the group, aside from Munkford, possessing the ability to count past twelve! After the friendly farmer shows them a cow-sized arachnid carcass, humongous horror crawls forth on segmented legs!

This is where Piper's stop-motion and practical creature effects shine, far better than in some of his other films. Make no mistake, this is one big ball of cheeeze-corn from start to finish. However, it is highly entertaining nonetheless. Be sure to stick around for the VERY low-rent military response to the giant bug monsters!

Have no fear, there's nothing serious going on here!...

Overall, not a bad horror flick. The monster scenes were sketchy, choppy and unrealistic. There was Alexxus Young starring nude in it, which is nice to watch. I didn't find is as much horror as I did comedy but thats okay. I would give it a 5/10.