O Cãozinho Esperto

The term "family film" really gets me angry. Why? Because for every film that is out there that is good enough to be for the entire family, there are at least 50 others that are not only wasting their parent's time, but they are not respecting their intended audience. Disney's new animated film TEACHER'S PET is both patronizing and extremely sloppy.

Spot Helperman(Voiced by Nathan Lane, The Lion King) is a dog who longs to be a real boy. He dresses up like a little boy and goes to school with his master Leonard (Shaun Fleming, Jeepers Creepers 2), and for some odd reason Leonard's mother (Debra Joy Rupp, TV's That 70's Show) is their teacher. When Leonard's mother wins a trip to Florida, Leonard longs to have fun on the beach with his dog. Spot wants to go to Florida to meet a wacko doctor (Kelsey Grammer) who can turn animals into humans.

As I sat through this supposed "musical comedy" I asked myself, Why? Who in their right mind said this film was worthy enough to make? Who said "hey the script is ready, let's make this movie?" The simple answer is money. But let's be honest, this turkey is not going to make any money. This is not the film that is going to be locked in the Disney Vault for ten years, to be released with much fanfare.

This is a shoddy movie that aspires to be HEY ARNOLD, THE MOVIE. Its script is not technically a story, it is bad jokes designed to stretch running time. TEACHER'S PET is a 15 minute animated short with over an hour of bad jokes designed to stretch the running time.

Most would probably say, "why are you being so hard on this movie? It's designed for little kids not a 24 year old male." I say if you are going to spend large amounts of money on a film and you expect parents to bring their little tykes, and you create a film that makes even a toddler bored, I cannot go easy on it.

This film has no charm. The jokes are too abrasive, and there are far too many things going on. It also features this really odd subplot involving Spot and Leonard's mother that made me feel really, really uncomfortable. Its inclusion was both unnecessary and hard to explain without making it sound sicker than it really is.

Finally I muse about the PG rating for this film. Why? It will play well only to four or five year olds. When I think of a PG movie I think of kids between 8-10. Why create a film geared at toddlers and market it to seven-year olds? You got me. I don't know why this film is PG. It contains no bad language, no sex, and no real violence. It's not even scary. If anyone can figure this out, I will give you a hearty handshake.

If you are looking to waste a child's time, stay at home and rent ET. They'll love it. TEACHER'S PET on the other hand is a vapid mess. If you want my advice, instead of dropping forty bucks to take the brood to see this film, spend that money on a really big cardboard box. Your kids will have far more fun with that.

Timothy Björklund gives us a complete box-office flop of a Disney movie.

Our story follows Spot the dog on his adventure to become a boy. This time, in feature-length form, he travels to California to visit the sane (he swears) Dr. Ivan Krank, who says he can turn any animal human.

Nathan Lane plays Spot Helperman or Scott Leadready II when he dresses up like a boy. I love Nathan Lane's voice acting, he was great in the Lion King, and is great in this, no complaints.

Shaun Flemming plays Leonard Amadeus Helperman, Spot's owner and best friend. His voice acting is done well enough, not as great as Nathan Lane's, but nothing terrible.

Kelsey Grammar plays the SANE Dr. Ivan Krank, a scientist who has developed a very inept way of transforming animals to humans. Kelsey Grammar has fine voice acting, probably from his experience as Sideshow Bob on the hit series The Simpsons.

I have no complaints about this movie, it was well crafted, pretty well drawn, and I don't see why it wasn't a hit. Two big things kind of bothered me though, for one I hate Debra Jo Rupp's voice, I find her annoying! Second, the way the animators drew people kind of make them look creepy.

While critics will praise this Disney TV spin off because it doesn't look like a Disney film little else distinguishes this film from typical TV drek. It needs it's short running time because there really isn't much there beyond it's tv incarnation . The animation is average Korean junk . Unless you are a devoted lover of Basemans designs or a mindless Disney fanatic this film will bore you . It did me.

Nathan Lane voices a little blue dog who dresses up as a boy so he can go to school in this, the latest big screen version of a Disney Channel animated series (like their wonderful "Recess" film... uh, never mind...). The voice cast also boasts Jerry Stiller (in full-on shout mode, God bless him) and David Ogden Stiers (in perhaps his funniest voice performance). This one works as a witty and daring stylistic departure from Disney norm, perhaps outdoing even the much lauded "Lilo and Stitch" in that regard. Visual gags abound, taking several stylized shots at fellow "Disney icons" (i.e., Pinocchio, the Seven Dwarfs). In the big film story, Spot a.k.a. Scot follows his master and his master's clueless mom to Florida in his search for a mad scientist (voice of Kelsey Grammar) who has been trying to transform animals into people. Yup, that's right. He's no longer just going to dress the part. He's getting the operation! And transsexual/ gay subtexting? Fuhgeddaboutit.

I went to see this film on its opening weekend for three reasons. Firstly, I felt like seeing a movie that day. Secondly, I am a fan of the TV series "Teacher's Pet" which concerns the exploits of a dog named Spot who dresses up as a boy because he wants to go to school. And thirdly, I wanted to do my part to pad the opening weekend box office of a Disney traditional animation film.

This comes about a week after the news that the company was shutting down their Orlando animation department, where the bulk of traditional animation is done for Disney, because they wanted to focus on computer-animated films. It is worth noting that, without Pixar (whose contract with Disney expires after two more films) Disney has yet to make ONE CG movie.

But, this film is not only a hilarious and enchanting story to entertain children of all ages (19, since you asked), it is a love letter to the rich legacy of Disney animation. Full to bursting with affectionate jabs at such classics as "101 Dalmatians," "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs," and "Pinocchio."

Indeed, the film opens with a parody of this last film, in which Spot finds himself wishing he could be a real boy, and the motif continues throughout. Simply pretending to be a boy isn't enough for him, he wants the real deal. He sees his chance with Ivan Krank (voiced over the top and beyond by `Frasier' star Kelsey Grammer) a `wacko' scientist who claims he can turn animals into humans. Spot travels to Florida and undergoes the procedure, only to become a full-grown MAN, not a boy! This is a momentous day for Spot (or `Scott' as he disconcertingly calls himself when he's in human garb) but not so for his nine-year-old master, Leonard Helperman, who just wants a dog to play with.

Needless to say, but I will anyway, Leonard and Spot become a boy and his dog again and everyone gets what they deserve, all the ingredients for a happy ending. And indeed you would have to look far and wide for a family film more bright and joyful. The songs are beautifully written with clever lyrics and, again in the Disney tradition, exist to move the story along, as it should be for all musical comedies.

I would, however, use discretion in taking my family to this film. Though it's PG rated and definitely suitable for children, those with weaker constitutions (or more protective parents.I won't name names, you know who you are) might not be ready to see the results of Spot's transformation. It gets a little dark by the third act, but certainly no darker than any other animated film of late. And, ideally, there would be more in Act One to help those unfamiliar with the dynamic of the TV series, though you'll definitely enjoy it anyway.

The real strength of this film is in the voice cast, including series regulars Nathan Lane (as the super-intelligent dog himself), Jerry Stiller (as the bird), David Ogden Stiers (as the cat) and Shaun Fleming and Debra Jo Rup (as Leonard and his mother, who also happens to be his teacher. Unfortunate, no?) and new comedic talents such as Paul Ruebens, Megan Mullay and `Seinfeld's' Estelle Harris.

In conclusion, though it's nowhere near as good as the best of Disney, it's still better than anything Dreamworks has ever done.except maybe for `Chicken Run,' but come on! That's stiff competition that is.