- Sybil Stone: [to Amy, after opening Meredith's Christmas gift, a photo of a very pregnant Sybil] That's me and you, kid.
- [Amy looks up, crying and nodding]
- Sybil Stone: Me and you.
- Meredith Morton: [crying after Sybil and Amy come into the kitchen and accidentally ruin the breakfast she made] I'm just as good as any of you!
- Amy Stone: [laughing and crying at the situation] Maybe better.
- Meredith Morton: [still crying] What's so great about you guys?
- Sybil Stone: [laughing and crying along with Amy... patting Meredith's cheeks] Oh, nothing! It's just that we're all that we've got.
- Sybil Stone: [Signing to Thad after Meredith has insulted his being gay] Hey. Hey, you.
- [he doesn't look her way, she tosses a fork at his plate to get his attention]
- Sybil Stone: I love you. And you are more normal than any other... asshole sitting at this table. OK? OK. I need a fork.
- Ben Stone: So, uh, where's dad?
- Sybil Stone: He ran away. Joined the circus
- Everett Stone: Better circus.
- Patrick Thomas: Yeah. Less clowns.
- Sybil Stone: Are those mushrooms?
- Meredith Morton: Yes, those are mushrooms.
- Patrick Thomas: Isn't Everett allergic to mushrooms?
- Meredith Morton: He is?
- Ben Stone: OK, what we got going on over here? Santa's workshop. Er... OK, wha-what can I do to be of service Meredith, wha-what can I do?
- Meredith Morton: Oh, well... I think I'm all set. Everett had to run some errands in town, then he and Thad are going to meet Julie's bus...
- Ben Stone: Are those mushrooms?
- Meredith Morton: I DIDN'T KNOW!
- Kelly Stone: [Kelly and Ben are seated in an empty football field with a plate of suspected pot-laced brownies Kelly's eating] You want a brownie?
- Ben Stone: No thanks.
- Kelly Stone: They're good.
- Ben Stone: [after a long pause] So... it's worse this time... isn't it?
- Kelly Stone: [lightly] What do you mean?
- Ben Stone: [scoffs] Mom... Dad. I mean Mom.
- Kelly Stone: [sighs] It's not good. We only found out a couple of weeks ago.
- Ben Stone: But she'd known longer than that.
- Kelly Stone: Well, we weren't sure. And she wanted to wait, you know... until after Christmas to tell you kids.
- Kelly Stone: [Ben nods and begins to weep... Kelly puts his arm around him] I know man, I know.
- Patrick Thomas: Well, Amy never likes anyone.
- Amy Stone: Patrick. I love you.
- Thad Stone: [laughing] That took years!
- Sybil Stone: [Everett is in the kitchen having coffee, Sybil put the ring down next to him] Merry Christmas.
- Sybil Stone: [Everett is silent] Don't be a jerk. I said Merry Christmas.
- Everett Stone: Dad put you up to this.
- Sybil Stone: I think you and I need to get something straight.
- Everett Stone: [scoffs] Here we go.
- Sybil Stone: [Kelly has just walked in] Not now, Kelly.
- Kelly Stone: [hesitant] All right, OK.
- Sybil Stone: Jesus, Kelly! Not now.
- Kelly Stone: OK... all right. Hey Everett.
- Sybil Stone: [Everett nods towards Kelly while Sybil takes a stool and talks to Everett] You've had a charmed life, kid.
- [Everett scoffs]
- Sybil Stone: I blame myself.
- Everett Stone: Mom... you've never made anybody's life easier.
- Sybil Stone: [laughing] What the hell do you know about it?
- Everett Stone: Oh, I know a little.
- Sybil Stone: [stops laughing] I'm sick, honey.
- [Everett slowly shakes his head]
- Sybil Stone: And you can't fix it. Not even by getting married.
- Everett Stone: [Everett begins to cry, Sybil opens her arms to comfort him] Mom...
- Sybil Stone: [chuckles] What?
- [embraces him briefly, then they separate]
- Sybil Stone: Hey, I know this is probably a tall order, but I need you to do me a favor, and try not to be so perfect.
- [laughs]
- Sybil Stone: All right?
- Everett Stone: [mumbles, still crying] I'm far from perfect.
- Sybil Stone: I hate to see you miss out on something... because you have this picture in your mind or you thought you can change something you can't. I'd hate to see you not find what you really want. Oh, but Everett... it's your ring... it's your decision.
- Sybil Stone: [Susannah goes upstairs to her mother's room, tiptoes inside and takes her shoes off, she then climbs on the bed and spoons with Sybil, who then awakens... she turns around and puts her hand on Susannah's cheek lovingly] Who else knows?
- Ben Stone: [quoting 'Where the Wild Things Are' before he lights the tree] "And now," cried Max, "Let the wild rumpus start."
- Ben Stone: [to Meredith] Don't dilly-dally there, pretty lady. We're all gonna be down here talking about you.
- Meredith Morton: I slept with your brother.
- Everett Stone: You slept with who?
- Thad Stone: Do not look at me!
- Ben Stone: [after opening Susannah's Christmas gift] Hey! Is this houndstooth?
- Susannah Stone: Yep! Filene's Bargain Basement.
- Amy Stone: [about Meredith] She has got this throat-clearing tick... it's like she's digging for clams!
- Meredith Morton: [Meeting Thad, who is deaf, for the first time] HELLO. I'M MEREDITH. I'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT YOU.
- Thad Stone: [to Susannah] why's she shouting?
- Sybil Stone: [hiding from the family why Ben receives her so emotionally when coming home] Did you and Dad have fun getting stoned?
- Ben Stone: You were shovelling snow.
- Meredith Morton: I... What?
- Ben Stone: You were just a little girl in a flannel night gown. And you were shovelling snow from the walk in front of our house. And I was the snow, I was the snow. And everywhere it landed and everywhere it covered. You scoop me up with a big red shovel. You scoop me up.
- Patrick Thomas: [the family is playing Charades and Thad is up. No one is guessing right, but Patrick finally gets it] Ooh! "Billy Don't Be a Hero"!
- Thad Stone: Yes! THANK you!
- Amy Stone: That's a song?
- Susannah Stone: Yes, it's a song. You've heard it.
- Ben Stone: Whose clue was that? It's not very... it's not good.
- Meredith Morton: Ahem.
- Ben Stone: I'd want a little black baby.
- Everett Stone: You already have a little black baby.
- Ben Stone: Can ya dig it!
- Patrick Thomas: [Meredith is up while playing charades] Uh... bride!
- Amy Stone: [after giving her the 4-word movie title] Always A Bridesmaid, Never a Bride!... Oh, wait, that's six words.