Demons at the Door

Dogs and horror. Think of Cujo. That seems like a pretty good combination, if done correctly of course...of course. Well, it seems someone forgot to mention that to the cast and crew of Demons at the Door. Well, let me be fair, it wasn't until after they had completely given up on this project that they gave the spotlight to Fido, so I guess that saves them some humiliation...I guess. Another combination that seemed to have waved bye-bye to this movie way before the beginning were acting and directing. Well...I can't be sure if it was the acting or the directing, maybe it was both, I can't honestly tell. I can be sure about casting though, nice job on the Middle Eastern, very believable????? Seriously, the guy was whiter than Commando Comedian. And please tell me what those demons were doing that the film kept showing over and over again. You remember, the ones that looked liked they were involved in an aerobics class. Were they trying to be scary or looking to dance with each other??? I go with dancing, because they didn't stop doing that the entire movie. ("" just mentally add those quotations in every time I use movie/film from now on) Even when the main "actor" was shooting them, all they did was dance back and forth. Damn you Castellano for shooting up a perfectly benign demon dance party!! I think what had happened was that the crew had accidentally tapped into a taping of "Richard Simmons does Hell Live" and decided to edit it into their movie for lack of content. Will Richard Simmons do anything?? Speaking of Hell, how the hell did this movie get into Blockbuster?? Is the director the VPs cousin?? Oh, and please tell me you didn't actually pay that dominatrix to be in your movie, that was by far the most horrible scene I have ever seen...ever!! I will be permanently scarred for the rest of my life, and I constantly have nightmares that the Weapons of Mass Destruction is sitting on my face!! You have succeeded in one thing crew/cast members of Demons at the Door. You have lowered that bar so much for B horror movies that anyone can now make them...seriously. I am not joking. There is now no limitation for someone wanting to making a movie. No special effects?? No problem..use windows Paint, Demons at the Door did.

I work at Blockbuster, so I get free rentals. I saw this and said "what the heck, it's free". I haven't laughed this much in a very long time. Horribly bad computer effects paired up with horrible dialog and horrible acting makes for a very funny movie about a battle between humans and the hordes of Hell. If I had to compare it to something I'd compare it to Evil Dead 2. The gallons of green demon blood, the chainsaw, the possessed hand, are all in this movie. And the ending is so unexpected and ludicrous that it caps off the excellent hilarity of this movie. If you're looking for laughs and can put up with horrible acting and effects, watch this movie. You won't regret it.

After watching this movie two thoughts crossed my mind. The first one being why did I rent this? the second one being. "I think i am dumber now then 2 hours before." This movie was so bad words are hard to find to explain it, but I will do my best. The dialog was horrible, full of really bad one liners. The plot sucked beyond all reason. The special effects were done with micro soft paint. If I had made this movie, I wouldn't show it to my friends, relatives, family or anybody. if i had anything to do with this movie I would keep it a secret to the grave. There is one scene where a monster comes out to attack one of the soldiers, but you can see his HUMAN FOOT. A boot must have fallen off or something, but it is right there in the open. This movie was a waste of my time. If I could get those two hours back of my life I would. This film should be burned and barred for life.

i'm giving this movie 3 for 2 reason. I liked the soundtrack (ICP) and the main chick was hot. They used the same special effects that you see in Aqua Teen Hunger Force (for those of you who don't know it, it's a cartoon). The opening story was typed on a computer, hell my gf was even able to tell us what font they used lol. oh and the opening credits...LONGEST CREDITS EVER!!!! The acting was horrible and you'll never look at Satan the same way again. I was cracking up for a good part of the movie because it was just soooooo bad. If you're someone who likes to watch bad movies then you should see this. Especially if you have a thing for rapping demons.

I've got to do something about my obsession with ultra-low budget cinema. For every Death Bed, there's at least a dozen Demons at the Door, and after this brain-frying example of cinemasochism, I really have to wonder if it's worth it.

DatD starts out with an expository scroll letting us know how Lucifer got in trouble with God and got himself thrown out of heaven, and now rules hell as Satan and wars against God and Man (just in case any of that is news to you). Oh, and there's a fancy macguffin which will give Satan the power to move about freely on Earth. But don't bother paying too close attention, 'cause were gonna cover this material at least three more times in dialogue.

In fact, repetition seems to be the watchword for DatD scripters. We get the same dialogue, situations, attitudes, and effects, over and over. Spraying your characters from head to toe with green demon goo can be campy fun the first time, but it gets old fast.

The cast is no particular help, either. Even if they could collectively act their way out of a paper bag, the characters they've been given are confused and unlikeable. Let's see, we've got the Marine sergeant who's locked in an eternal pissing contest with the rest of the world, his sidekick who serves little real purpose other than to receive racist insults from the demons, a bland and uninteresting scientist, the scientist's daughter, who starts out weak, useless and uninformed, but then halfway through the movie suddenly transforms into Super Ninja Archaeologist. And there's the Archangel Uriel, who you think would be more help, but who abandons everyone else to their fates after the first reel. Way to go, Forces of Good!

In the end, the movie gives up any pretense of making sense, veering off into a bizarre harrowing-of-hell sequence that I hope was intended to be funny, but it's not, really. Just kinda stupid and pathetic, like the rest of this film. One to avoid.