Die You Zombie Bastards!

If anyone ever tells me they have an idea for a movie but can't get it made, I will tell them about Die You Zombie Bastards! - an ambitiously bad indie horror flick packed full of every single bad idea everyone on set could think of. An involved and needlessly complicated script tells a story so completely amateurish and grade school that it simply can't be funny. Lead Tim Gerstmar deliberately overacts which is always a bad idea for a non-actor. I understand they're taking delight in being cheesy and stupid, but it is just too much to handle. Unless you are a huge fan of independent cinema, or actually had a part in making this, I can't imagine liking it. This reminds me of films I made with my friends on a camcorder when we were in high school. I go back and can barely watch those, and I was in them. This is like watching those films, but without the personal connections. While I appreciate this film took 5 years to make, and the editing and soundtrack are respectable, it can't make up for the complete lack of humor, horror, or anything worthwhile. The only thing I could say is that there are plenty of boobies... but most of them aren't very good, well they're good, but it doesn't seem to help matters much. Though I'm not a fan of rating 10s or 1s.... this one really is a waste of your eyesight - don't bother.

A horror comedy that should have been A Troma movie if you ask me. This one has an evil Baron living on a island who has just devised a zombotron that will turn people into green zombie slaves. The Baron kidnaps a serial killers wife setting the husband on a heroic journey to get her back.

This one was pretty good. Not much of a budget but it keeps you laughing. You got everything in this film from robots to giant houseflies and even rockabilly legend Hasil Adkins playing himself. Porn legend Jamie Gillis pops up in it a couple of times. There is regular nudity and zombie nudity. Overall a good time to be had and you won't get brain strain trying to figure anything out.

*SIGH*... Alright, look. I'm perfectly aware that there's much, much worse out there in the way of B-entertainment. But, come on. Must Die You Zombie Bastards! be THAT ridiculous? I mean, tone it down some, your'e not a Troma movie, get over it. Over the top is one thing, but this overly ambitious silliness almost resembles something like Drawn Together from Comedy Central, more so than a Troma, which just has to be what they were going for. That, and maybe Chris Seaver, and let me tell ya, this one ain't no LBP epic, either. On the other hand, Die You Zombie Bastards! still has a lot going for it, that is, if you're only watching for the excessive, comical gore. Otherwise, this movie is just irritating

Die You Zombie Bastards is about a serial Killer, Red Toole. Red Toole enjoys murdering, mutilating, and eating human flesh, and like a lot of confused young men, Red also really digs super-hero's, or, I guess, he think's he is one, I don't know. Anyway, Toole is a fairly easy-going fellow, he seems to really enjoy life, and why shouldn't he? Red's hobby/passion is not only tolerated by his wife, but the gorgeous Violet has also embraced his love for cannibalism, and murder. It's just an all around healthy marriage.

For every super-hero, there has to be the bad guy. Meet Nefarious. A mad scientist, with some rather unique fetish's, which cant't really be explained on this website. This guy is searching for the perfect woman, and on this day, he finds her. that's right, Toole's girl, Violet. With the help of some Zombies, and some other fake-looking things, Nefarious steals his new girlfriend, right from under Toole. From here, Red Toole embarks on a world wide (New England) journey to rescue his hot wife from the clutches of this new, rather disturbed enemy named Nefarious. From here, everything is just, joke, after gag, after pun, after baby noise, after confusing inside joke (Peanutch?). I was expecting a lot more, after reading a lot of the positive reviews. Thank's a lot, guys. That money could've gone to something awesome like The Undertaker And His Pals or TeenApe Goes To Camp.

What also gets under my skin is all the little flashbacks, sorta like in the TV show Scrubs. It's OK for Scrubs, because Scrubs isn't as stupid as this. Just doesn't fit in something like this, or maybe it does, what the hell do I know? Die You Zombie Bastards! is just a little too self-aware for my taste, it comes off more like a spoof of B-horror, which can be a good thing, but this movie just rubs me the wrong way. Aside from all this, were looking at some bold, outlandish Exploitation that will leave you exhausted if you try to understand it. Die You Zombie Bastards will force at least a couple laughs out of you, regardless of how stupid (or pathetic) you might, or might not, think it is. Recommended to those who will give anything a chance as long as super-hero's are involved, even an overly-silly, sci-fi-ish, Troma-wannabe, about a serial killing, super-hero on a stupid little mission called Die You Zombie Bastards! But hey, there's always the gore. 4/10

Well well, what was this. I have seen the trailer and thought, well, this I must see, so I did but it was weirder than the trailer. If you are going to watch it be advised that it is really a weird movie. Don't take it seriously, but watch it with a pint of beer and some nachos. Sit down and relax and take a ride towards cheap effects (space ship, sea monster), cannibalism (a couple loves to eat human flesh), stupid hero's (red man), stupid make up (Baron Nefarious and the zombies), goofy story lines (in fact the whole movie) and the obligatory nudity (a lot of juggs and hairy kitty cats). Sometimes it's a bit boring but I must say that the acting of Tim Gerstmar is excellent. Many will find it celluloid shite others will adore it.

I saw this movie during a screening in Providence and have been unable to get it out of my head. This leads to unpleasant situations in public places, where I will think of something from the movie and start laughing like a maniac much to the distress of those around me.

This movie starts off by introducing us to the unusual world of a serial killer with a heart gold named Red Toole. He enjoys killing hippies, wearing costumes made of human flesh and spending quality time at home with his wife Violet.

When Violet is kidnapped by a deformed Mad Scientist named Baron Nefarious, Red sets out on a thoroughly bizarre journey in hopes of getting her back.

That is more or less the plot, but how Red gets from point A to point B is so funny and ridiculous that it wouldn't do it justice to try and explain it here. This is one you have to see for yourself.

If I were an unoriginal S.O.B. I'd say this movie was like Airplane meets The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. But I'm not and besides that would probably make you think of the Scary Movie series and this is nothing like those lame flicks. Sadly, I am not as clever as the makers of this film so I will have to say this movie is kind of like a cross between Top Secret and Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, except with more fish monsters and naked zombie girls.

When I grow up I want to be Red Toole or president, maybe both. I love this movie, you will too. If you don't then there is obviously something wrong with you.