- George: Death is kind of like sex in high school. If you knew how many times you missed having it, you'd be paralyzed.
- Dolores Herbig: [to George after checking her online date account and getting no messages] You know, when you are young like you are, Millie, it's easy. Man, woman, bottom, top... sex is a big buffet and you are just a fat man with a fork. But, as you get older, it's harder to get a fork.
- George: Since I just got promoted, I just thought you two should know - I take my coffee with a little milk, two sugars and a lot less of your bullshit.
- Daisy Adair: If Romeo had just masturbated a couple of times a week he would have saved both those nice families a heap of trouble.
- George: If I had to choose between being a heart or a brain I'd definitely choose a heart because at least you'd do something. If you're a brain, at the end of the day all you're really at is settling for shitty situations.
- Daisy Adair: You are always in your own head. It's like you're talking to yourself.
- George: [voice over] Am I?
- George: Hi, Lydia. You've temped for them before. There's a dress code and your skirt needs to actually cover your ass... I don't care where your tattoo is, you cannot show crack at the office.
- Ray Summers: Okay, George. Five reasons men are scum and women let us get away with it. One: we only want one thing. No exceptions. Two: we fall in love with you before we can have that thing and then fall back out once we've had it, whereas women conversely fall in love afterwards. Three: we will lie, cheat, steal or murder in order to get that thing... why am I sugarcoating this, you're a big girl... in order to fuck you. Four: we freely admit the numbers one, two, three, and women don't care. And the number five reason why men are scum and women let us get away with it: you can't live without us.
- Mason: [referring to Rube] Stay on his good side. He's like a volcano George. He erupts and spews lava in little villages. They run around, they run around for their lives. But you know he stops and you can go back to the safety of your own home.
- George: I don't know exactly what makes people cross over. I mean, souls. I think they see light where others cannot. I think they see a chance to become something else. Someone else.
- Ray Summers: Hi, I'm Ray.
- George: Fuck you, Ray.
- Ray Summers: Nice spendin' time with you guys.
- Daisy Adair: Ray, this is Mason. Mason, Ray. And George - curious George.
- Mason: So Daisy, what's goin' on, I thought it was just the three of us.
- Ray Summers: Daisy?
- Daisy Adair: Daisy Adair.
- George: So what do you do, Ray?
- Ray Summers: I'm a television producer, George.
- George: So you're rich.
- Ray Summers: Comfortable.
- George: I suppose you're charming.
- Ray Summers: Tolerable.
- George: And women just fall the fuck all over you.
- Ray Summers: Not you, I suspect.
- Daisy Adair: Georgia, you're being impolite.
- Ray Summers: No, no, that's okay. Everybody likes me eventually.
- Dolores Herbig: GEORGIA LASS!
- George: [bumping her head] What?
- Dolores Herbig: What?
- George: [quickly rethinking] Who?
- [George is in a good mood one morning and Roxie doesn't like it]
- Roxy: How about a hot cup of shut the fuck up?
- Rube: What you're feeling right now -all the rage and frustration binding everything from your head to your digestive tract- that's my life with you.
- Rube: [trying to get the reapers to work on their self-exams] Hey-there's no hob-knobbing. This is not a debutante party.