The Mummy's Kiss

This may be a simple, adult late night B-movie, but I feel that when you make one in an unusual setting like an ancient egyptian horror tale, you might include some talent on the director's part. This movie tries to be interesting with flashbacks tto ancient egypt which boast locations that are so obviously the producer's backyard in California which just happens to have palm trees in it. With the digital special effects they bothered to include in this "skin flik", you'd think the least the director ccould do was direct the mummy not to walk like an anal exam victim, or maybe the director could have included at least ONE CREATIVE CAMERA ANGLE.

I always loved this movie. Mostly because of Mia and Sasha. I understand perfectly clearly what they're trying to say. It's hard to find your long lost lesbian lover in a world where you always get killed over it. I also understand the Egyptian stuff and the don't attack an evil person stuff.

A mummy of an Egyptian sorceress comes to life and happens to be a sexy young lady. She needs to reunite with her princess lover from the olden days and the old soul is in the professor's daughter of all places.

Right away you get the feeling your watching one of those Seduction Cinema flicks with Misty Mundae. This one though has Richard Lynch playing the professor who found the mummy. There is of course tons of nudity. Don't expect much of a plot here, just a lot of breast rubbing and essence stealing.

I did see the sequel The Mummy's Kiss: 2nd Dynasty first but trust me it doesn't matter which one you see first.

I'm not sure about "The Mummy's Kiss"; really, I'm not. I just finished watching it, and I'm puzzled. This film isn't a softcore film in the sense that there's simulated sex-a-plenty and a flimsy plot...oh no. "The Mummy's Kiss" appears to be a badly done horror film with the expected low-budget special effects. However, since there was plenty of nudity and had a softcore feel to it, it fits into this category too.

The basic plot of the story is as follows: There's an ancient history professor, Carter Moore, who is involved with one of his students, Ana Harwa (Sasha Peralto, a relatively fresh young face). She bears a striking resemblance to an ancient Egyptian princess, Hat-Em-Akhet, who had a lesbian relationship with an evil sorceress, Hor-Shep-Sut. This sort of thing was frowned upon back then, so Hor-Shep-Sut had her heart removed from her body and put into a jar while the rest of her was mummified, never to be seen or heard from again.....until Ana's uncle, Dr. Wallis Harwa, discovered Hor-Shep-Sut's tomb. Unfortunately, a lowly security guard stumbles over the tomb and opens it, letting Hor-Shep-Sut's spirit out. She takes her human form again (character played by Mia, using the alias Ava Lake). She assumes the name Ramsay Amun and starts getting friendly with Ana.

From here it gets somewhat interesting, as Ana discovers who she really is while her boyfriend rushes to stop Ramsay from completing the sacred ceremony which will unlock the spirit of Hat-Em-Akhet resting within Ana. Did I mention he has a hot assistant, Tina Kim (Aysia Lee, another fresh young face)? Throw in a bevy of horny college girls doing anything to get with the professor and a moderate dose of Regina Russell as one of these college girls (she can't play a college girl for very long--I mean, if her birthdate on IMDB is right, she just turned 30) and you've got a fun film, even if it's confusing.

Now on to the sex. There's very little of it, but there's a heavy dose of nudity. The sex is strictly of the lesbian variety (since this is a Seduction Cinema venture, I was expecting that), with mostly slow motion hugging and kissing. The sex scenes weren't even "Playmate of The Apes" quality. A few quick kisses, some bare breasts, and onto the next scene.

This isn't a great film by softcore standards--worse yet, it's not even average. The plot was kind of clever, but all the fading-in and fading-out wore on me after a while. I'm sorry, but this isn't tapeworthy.

Women: B+ (Mia had the best part of the film, and she's still got a killer body. Sasha Peralto and Aysia Lee were cute, and Regina Russell was kinda just there for the most part. Katie Lohmann, who played the role of Isis, was the best looking one. She poses through the opening credits and the audience gets a good look at those huge boobs of hers. I'm a sucker for big boobs.)

Sex: F (There weren't enough sex scenes, they didn't last long enough and they were extremely slow. Not much else to say there.)

Story: D+ (I read the script of this film, and I have to say that the script was better than the finished product on the TV screen. Some scenes were edited out and some words were rearranged, but I definitely would like to see the version of the film I read in the script--it had more sex in it and seemed more entertaining. Ramsay had the best lines by far.)

Overall: D+ (A fairly high grade in the "Women" category is balanced out by a failing grade for Sex. The barely passable story keeps this film from getting an F. Then again, I have to think about giving an F to a film with Mia and Regina Russell in it. In short, this film gets watched via channel surfing, but it's far from Skinemax appointment viewing.)

Soft core porn with a plot and special effects. Watchable if only for the ladies and in particular the gorgeous Katie Lohmann. The only notable acting is from veteran Richard Lynch who I was really surprised to see in this movie. His performance is well above the rest of the cast.