Blood Gnome

The sheer stupidity of this movie I can get past. But the fact they tried to take themselves seriously for this pile of crap I can't. You really don't want to see this movie, and if I hadn't gotten a free copy of it, I wouldn't have seen it either. Do yourself a favor, go watch Gremlins, cause this movie isn't scary, funny, or sexy. They want you to think so, but it just isn't

Julie Strain, what were you thinking????

I can't imagine why anybody would NOT want to see a film with a name like Blood Gnome. However, be warned: while the title and cover might lead you to expect something along the lines of a cheap Critters/Ghoulies rip-off for the 21st century, it's actually more like a BDSM promotional film that just happens to have knee-high bloodthirsty goblins from another dimension scampering about in the background. I'm serious.

The other thing about Blood Gnome is that, while undeniably entertaining in a no-budget, student film kind of way, it doesn't have an ironic or self-aware bone in its body - as evidenced by the 'Making Of' documentary, which you soon realise is a minor gem in itself as the producer and director pour praise upon their stars' "marvellous performances", the lead actors (who come off like the slower cousins of Louis Theroux and Juliette Lewis) ramble on about sleep deprivation method acting, the 'effects' people show off their atrocious puppets which can't even stand up straight yet the film shows in badly-lit close-up every chance it gets...

See it only if you know what you're getting yourself into, and relish the prospect (i.e. if you firmly believe that Slugs is one of the best comedies of all time). Don't bother if you're looking for a genuine horror flick: the only thing that's remotely scary about Blood Gnome is the idea that it could really be someone's labour of love.

"Let's start a production company. What have you always wanted to make a film about?" "Bondage. Oh, and invisible vampire muppets."

In this unofficial sequel to Critters (or maybe it's Ghoulies), a bunch of evil latex puppets terrorize anyone foolish enough to partake in BDSM. The sad part is, there's almost an interesting idea here, but it is totally wasted. It would have been nice if the writer would have actually done some research, rather than just watching Exit to Eden a couple of times and assuming he knew anything about the fetish community.

There's a goofy walkthrough by Scream Queen Julie Strain (which may be the highlight of the movie, sad to say). This movie would make Lloyd Kaufman, Roger Corman and Charlie Band cringe.

What I hate is that actress Ms. Pursley gets absolutely no credit for being the one single believable character in the movie. Considering the ridiculous writing, she probably did the best that was possible in such a mess. Entertaining, oddly. I hope the people controlling the camera shots are never involved in any movie, ever again. I made a better cinematographer when I was six. No, I'm not a cinematographer... that's how bad it was. The idea for the movie was not at all horrific. It certainly should not be considered a horror. Let's give credit to Ms. Pursley for her acting, shoot the cinema crew and at least thank the writers for a new and genuine idea.

Invisible, blood thirsty gnomes from another dimension kill people who are engaging in some S&M! Yes, really!! Utterly crazy plot with no explanation to this madness. Micro budget movie, so perhaps having the creatures invisible saved money on special effects (they can, however, been seen through the lead character's video camera & to be fair the effects are actually quite reasonable). As S&M is central to this film there is a lot of sex & nudity, which does hep detract from the awfulness of this ridiculous movie. Wooden is generally poor & in one scene a guy can be seen in the background setting up a prop. This is a seriously bad movie - I expected nothing less - but there is some fun to be had from watching it too.