- Larry Oster-Berg: So what'cha doing here?
- Larry Oster-Berg: We're, uh, meeting someone off a flight.
- Uniform Cop: You're meeting someone off of a flight?
- Larry Oster-Berg: Yes.
- Uniform Cop: In a hearse?
- Larry Oster-Berg: Yes. It's a, surprise.
- Uniform Cop: Which part's the surprise, um, the fact that you're in a bright yellow hearse? The fact that you look like something out of a horror film? Or, the fact, that you're a half mile away from the terminal and they're gonna have to walk across two runways to reach you?
- Larry Oster-Berg: The first part.
- Uniform Cop: Wherever there's a hippie, there's a crime, even if that crime hasn't happened yet. That's what I always say.
- Larry Oster-Berg: Tell me we have not stolen a real person.
- Phil Kaufman: Look, the place I get the coffins from probably hasn't filed a report yet. It will be sorted out within the hour. Trust me.
- Larry Oster-Berg: Hoo! I'm overflowing with trust for you, man. I feel this overwhelming feeling of trust every time I look at you!
- Phil Kaufman: What the hell are you doing?
- Larry Oster-Berg: The steering lock is on!
- Phil Kaufman: Well, turn it off.
- Larry Oster-Berg: I can't. He's got the key!
- Phil Kaufman: So we can escape, but we can only drive in a circle.
- Larry Oster-Berg: Yes!
- Barbara: Do you know what this is?
- Phil Kaufman: No.
- Barbara: It's Gram's will. "To whom it may concern: I would like it to be known that it is my wish to leave Barbara Mansfield my assets and belongings in the event of my death. Signed: Gram Parsons. "
- Phil Kaufman: That absolutely settles it. I mean, that's the single most impressive legal document since the Magna Carta.