One Hell of a Christmas

Right, well this is a movie from my home country, Denmark, and I must say that I was cringing throughout most of the movie because of the awful thick Danish accents everyone had as they tried passing off as being Americans. It was just embarrassing.

The quality of the movie was altogether fairly bad. The picture quality looked like something that was filmed with a remnant camera from the 1980s. And the dialogue was just horrible and mostly delivered in an atrociously bad way.

"One Hell of a Christmas" (aka "The Claw") is one of the most boring and awful movies that I ever had the misfortune to suffer through. It was so bad that I had to give up an hour into the movie. Everything about this movie was just awful, from the script to the acting.

This movie is a wide swing and miss from director Shaky Gonzalez. And it is most definitely a movie to give a wide berth if you are looking for a properly entertaining movie. As I mentioned above, I gave up an hour into it, and now the DVD will just sit on the shelf and collect dust. I am not even going to bother coming back for the last half hour.

I keep giving Fangoria movies a chance and keep being let down. This is it. I decided to give this one a chance because it is by the same maker as Angel of the Night which I thought was pretty good. No more, if Fangoria has their name on it I will steer clear. This movie SUCKED!!!! They may have a great magazine but they should think twice before putting their name on crap like this. AVOID at all costs!!!!

Carlitos is a felon, upon getting out of jail around Christmas time, a junkie no good "friend" , Mike, shows him a claw he stole from someone. It seems some demonic forces want said claw back and decide to torment Carlito for it instead of his friend who is busy shagging Carlito's wife. Shades of "Evil Dead", and "Hellraiser" abound, but bargain basement shades, with a horrid story, below sub-par 'special' effects, and atrocious acting. Steer clear of this dreck. Fangoria endorses some god awful films and this is NO exception. As a matter of fact, I implore you to read "Rue Morgue" instead as it's so incredibly much better.

My Grade: F

DVD Extras: Fangoria Article; Theatrical Trailer; and Trailers for "Slashers", "Wilderness", "School's Out", "Angel of the Night", and "Lady of the Lake"

Stinky Gonzalez's work cannot and will not go unappreciated. In a room full of cynical young men and women this film triumphed, leaving us awestruck in its wake. As it flawlessly wove from scene to scene with the grace and raw passion lacking in most of its B-movie contemporaries we were all struck silent..looking forward to Angels of the night, hoping that it can hold a mere candle to this Monolith of B-Cinema.

Man...it's been a long time since I gave something a single star, but believe me, I'd give this movie less were I given the option. There is quite literally nothing redeeming about this movie. Let me repeat that: there is absolutely nothing worthwhile about this movie whatsoever.

I'm not going to complain about the budget. A lot of movies get by on low budgets and do rather well. But this...this movie can't blame the budget. The actors are horribly ill-equipped. The story is garbage. The plot itself jumps around to the point that it becomes laughable.

I try to avoid the hyperbole that so often plagues IMDb reviews. if you can point to one single movie and say "Yep, that's the worst thing I've ever seen", then you clearly haven't seen enough crap. I will say that this would go in my top 5 of crap movies. I was actually mad at myself about halfway through that I was still watching it. Learn from my fail...