One Hell of a Christmas

Man...it's been a long time since I gave something a single star, but believe me, I'd give this movie less were I given the option. There is quite literally nothing redeeming about this movie. Let me repeat that: there is absolutely nothing worthwhile about this movie whatsoever.

I'm not going to complain about the budget. A lot of movies get by on low budgets and do rather well. But this...this movie can't blame the budget. The actors are horribly ill-equipped. The story is garbage. The plot itself jumps around to the point that it becomes laughable.

I try to avoid the hyperbole that so often plagues IMDb reviews. if you can point to one single movie and say "Yep, that's the worst thing I've ever seen", then you clearly haven't seen enough crap. I will say that this would go in my top 5 of crap movies. I was actually mad at myself about halfway through that I was still watching it. Learn from my fail...

I rented this movie expecting to hate it and/or to fall asleep during it. I was pleasantly surprised by the actors (altho a couple of the voices were annoying) who I felt did a very good job considering the material they had to work with. Can me wierd, but I found Mike (Thure Lindhardt) strangely sexy despite his bad teeth. Hmmmm, what does that say about ME?

The storyline was, of course, fairly predictable but enjoyable nonetheless.

All in all, I give it a 2.5 on the Leonard Maltin 'Bomb to 4-Star' rating.

ONE HELL OF A Christmas (1 outta 5 stars) And 1 out of 5 stars is being GENEROUS! Dismal low budget hodge-podge of a zillion horror movie clichés... and even some Latino gang movie clichés added in for good measure. Our "hero" Carlitos (Tolo Montana... trust me, you are never gonna have a reason to remember this guy's name) is a just-released convict doing a bad imitation of Al Pacino from "Carlito's Way". (Maybe his name is some sort of "homage"? Oh, who cares already!) Anyway, he meets up with his pal Mike (Thure Lindhardt... a bargain basement version of Jason Mewes), who has just gotten hold of some kind of stolen talisman that gives the owner incredible power (except, I guess, the power to not have his talisman stolen... which seems to happen with great frequency). Carlito says he wants to go straight and lead a clean life and win back his estranged wife and child... but insofar as Mike and Carlitos are back into the drugs and whores on his first day out of prison... I don't think that's gonna happen. So, there is also some kind of mysterious body-switching guardian who goes after whoever has the talisman to kill, maim, hurt, whatever. Terrible acting, terrible special effects, terrible story, terrible plot. This one dead prostitute who comes back to life to fight Carlitos is almost scary-looking... but the effect is outdone by this terrible cartoony voice they dubbed in for her. Another winner from the people at Fangoria Magazine (whose mag is almost as bad as the movies they endorse... almost). Avoid this trash (located in a Wal-Mart bargain bin near you).

fairly decent Fangoria movie has plenty of gore to satisfy the gore hounds however it gets too weird and confusing for it's own good the script is decent but a couple dubbing mistakes and some lame dialog kinda hurt it and it does have a somewhat happy ending a really weird premise with this one folks still this is a fairly watchable time that is decent before getting a bit silly he is trying to set a good example for his son but he gets back to his old ways eventually and it leads too a quite wacko movie here i do recommend this for people who want something different but be prepared there are a couple of disturbing moments and the direction is stylish so its worth a watch but not much more then that **1/2 out of 5

Carlitos is a felon, upon getting out of jail around Christmas time, a junkie no good "friend" , Mike, shows him a claw he stole from someone. It seems some demonic forces want said claw back and decide to torment Carlito for it instead of his friend who is busy shagging Carlito's wife. Shades of "Evil Dead", and "Hellraiser" abound, but bargain basement shades, with a horrid story, below sub-par 'special' effects, and atrocious acting. Steer clear of this dreck. Fangoria endorses some god awful films and this is NO exception. As a matter of fact, I implore you to read "Rue Morgue" instead as it's so incredibly much better.

My Grade: F

DVD Extras: Fangoria Article; Theatrical Trailer; and Trailers for "Slashers", "Wilderness", "School's Out", "Angel of the Night", and "Lady of the Lake"